Because This Is My First Life (2017)

Jung Somin carried, show lacked character development

It's worth the watch if you like slice of life. I loved Jung Somin's acting a lot. She's such a gem. Her natural acting was perfect for this role. The side actors & actresses were A+ as well. If you like shows that focus on side characters, you'll probably like this too.

My biggest takeaways were the dialogues. The writer did a great job with the poems and stories they included. I can guarantee they will give you a new perspective to life. My favorite one was about when a new person enters your life.

But I've got to say, it wasn't as good as people made it seem. The plot was nothing special and neither was Lee Minki's acting. I wasn't impressed by him at all. Sehee (his character) is robotic and seemingly emotionless. He eventually falls for Jiho, but my biggest complaint is they didn't show HOW Sehee falls in love with her. He suddenly started thinking about her and liking her. I wish the show put more effort into his character development.

The character development with the side characters was a little more promising. Jiho's and Sehee's friends start dating too but they're complete opposites. I can see how they fell in love, but still - I wish there were more scenes showing how it happened.

My favorite character was Jiho's mom played by Kim Sunyoung. Jiho's mom has first hand experience living in a patriarchal household. She made sure Jiho wouldn't suffer the same way she did. KSY did a fantastic job of showing a mother's sacrifice and love for her daughter. I only cried once during the show and it was while watching one of her scenes (with the album).

The ending (the most important part for me!) was completely rushed. I was disappointed because the side plots were introduced carefully in the beginning but there wasn't great closure for them. The show did a good job of showing how marriage isn't as easy as it looks, but in the end, everyone got married to each other?! I'm sure they could've done a better job because the plot was slow at times, so there was definitely opportunity to build out important parts of the show better.

I probably shouldn't have given this show such a high rating, but I liked Jung Somin's acting THAT much lol.

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because this is my first life: Sexism, misogyny, and discrimination against women in the workplace

After completing BTIMFL for the second time, I became aware of the reoccurring theme of the treatment of women, especially within the workplace.

The opening scene features a narration of the FL (Ji Ho, played by Jung So Min) explaining how she grew up in a patriarchal household, where she was pretty much ignored and disregarded. Her freedom never came to her until she was much older. In fact, her father only really shows an interest in her when she says she is getting married.

The FL has to go through various situations in which she is treated horribly by her male coworker, which leads to her other coworkers defending him and supporting him, rather than siding with the FL, the victim. This causes her to quit once she realises that they would have just continued to use her and discredit her. She has no voice within her workplace simply due to the fact that she is a woman.

The 2nd FL (Soo Ji), played by Esom, also has to experience similar discrimination with her being a female, along with the fact that she has a stigma around her for her personal choice to be sex-positive and not committed to relationships. The judgment she faces is addressed in a conversation with her romantic partner, in which she explains the hypocrisy of being a woman and the double-edged sword that is constantly pointed at her regardless of the choices she makes.

We also see their mothers who have sacrificed their own happiness for the sake of their daughters, and in turn, their daughters who have been able to have a better life. The FLs are able to realise how much their mothers have done for them, thus making them closer with them as they are able to appreciate them.

Admittedly, the other FL, Ho Rang (played by Kim Ga Eun, was quite annoying during my first watch due to some of her selfish choices. However, upon my rewatch, I can notice and understand her and her actions. To her, the traditional route of becoming a housewife is what she desires. In a scene after a school reunion, we see how she feels less than her school peers who are married with children. Struggling to get by with little money, she aspires to get married and settle down in order to not feel so inferior. Her pride holds onto the idea of one day being able to settle down, and constantly boasts about her long-time boyfriend, yet struggles to be upfront with him and tell him what she wants from their relationship. Hence why some of her decisions come across as selfish and ignorant. Additionally, there are a few scenes in which both she and a coworker are criticised by a male superior, further perpetuating the idea that she is less than and worthless even.

These characters all display how the patriarchy invites hypocrisy and condescending behaviour due to the choices made by women. Whilst these characters are able to be happy in the end, the sexism they face continues. Despite the 20th and 21st centuries showing the change with laws, enabling women to have a bigger presence within the public sphere, attitudes towards women remain the same from a macro perspective. BTIMFL is a great example of this, which is why I highly recommend this drama. The actors all showcase their characters uniquely, showing the different sides to adulthood, the workplace, and romance.

11 07 21

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Highly enjoyable (despite the unbelievable premise)

Out of all the "fake relationship" dramas out there (granted, I have only seen a few), this one had the most justifiable premise -- which still does not mean that it was entirely believable :) All the same, it was interesting to see how the show tried to balance the comedic and the truly dramatic components.
On the positive side:
* The leads, for once, are more fleshed out and interesting than the supporting characters! Maybe it's because they are not cast to be "the most beautiful" or "the most interesting" (both lead actors are very attractive, obviously, but they play the parts of ordinary people). The supporting characters have their own story arcs, but are definitely much more one-dimensional and somewhat caricaturish.
* The story flows relatively well and the events make sense (until the last episode or two, at least).
The negatives:
* That last, artificial, incomprehensible dramatic turn -- why? what for? (I refer to the "Mongolia trip" for those initiated to the series.) It made no sense. I wondered if it was a translation issue, and that maybe I missed something, but I watched those episodes with two different sets of translations, and it still made no sense...
* The show kept coming up with, and changing, the "leading theme" (or, to put it differently, the aphorism it was trying to explore; the zeitgeist it was trying to tap into; etc.): First it was the patriarchy; at some point it was finding the special small moments to be happy with things; then it was something weird about being unconventional... I think the overall trajectory of the show would have been more enjoyable and less jarring if the writers had picked one leading thought and stuck with it.

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Not my cup of tea

I had a hard time watching this. I got bored during a lot of it and I found a lot of the characters and their choices to be frustrating. I wonder if maybe I missed out on some of the cultural understanding, but I couldn’t believe how much they wanted to talk about “marriage is this” and “marriage is that”. I guess, as a married person, I just don’t buy into the relationships they were trying to sell me. I was quite frustrated at the choices made by the characters. The desires of some of the characters made me feel like they were selfish and that was never addressed. Considering the show was about marriage, I felt like I didn’t see enough of the developing relationship between the characters. For the one who had a difference in opinion about how long they should wait to get married, the show gave us no indication as to how that difference of opinion was solved beyond a couple of words about a plan. For the main relationship, there was a huge lack of communication and we didn’t really get to see the characters together. It’s hard to call it love when you only see it for such a small period of time. I also felt like some of the characters were just thrown in without much thought as to why they were there. The stalker storyline… the incident with the assistant director… those were just barely there to the point of “why bother?”

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I love this drama. Inject it into my veins.

Honestly, I don't even know what to say. I cried several times when I watched this.

While the drama's premise was a bit silly to me at first, I grew to love and appreciate it. Jung So-min was great, her portrayal of Ji-ho was amazing. I got super attached to her and the rest of the cast as time went on. I don't know, man. I just love what the drama is trying to say - that this is our first life, and just because we've experienced things that brought so much pain, does not mean that there aren't good things that can come in the future. That we have to be gentler with people, because we can never truly know who they are and what they've been through. Life is a struggle for everyone, and we can't always get it right all the time.

The show also explores how fucking hard it can be to get something you want, to achieve a dream or to move on and have a life you've always wanted. I love how it drops gems like how, in this world, the best you can do is stay out of people's way. Idk man it's such a great show with awesome dialogue.

This show definitely focuses on the relationships that each character has with their respective partners, though. I can see how that can bore some people, but I for one loved it. Soo-ji and Sang-goo's relationship is one of the absolute best ever, and I loved how supportive and loving Sang-goo was. The relationship between them is just *drama perfection*. Ho-rang and Won-seok's relationship was kinda meh for me, but I didn't hate it. It felt a bit dragged on, but I'll give them a pass because the rest of the drama was just so darn good. Ji-ho and Se-hee though. At first I didn't really care if they got together or not but in the end I found myself rooting for them.

I also love how Jung-min wasn't the typical crazy ex girlfriend. Love that for her.

Ah, I just remembered Ji-ho's wonderful relationship with her mother. This drama just hits all the right spots! Very rewatchable, too. The OST slaps as well (listening to Marriage, This Life, and Shelter makes me cry all the time).

Overall, this drama is so, so good. Please watch it!

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Great Start, Weak Finish

I loved this drama so much at the beginning. I liked the focus on friendship and the chemistry between the couples. The show portrayed sexism and had a pretty progressive attitude towards sex. One of my main issues is that the show focused on the three main friends and their romances, but I only cared about two of them. I found one of these storylines to be incredibly boring and skipped most of those scenes. The last few episodes really took the show down for me, which I would have rated much higher before I saw those. The decisions that the main lead makes in the last few episodes felt really bizarre and out of character.

Likes: Soo-ji - a part of me almost wanted her and the CEO to be the main couple because I cared about them so much. The portrayal of sexism, especially that in the corporate world. The focus on female friendship. Forced proximity and contract marriage trope for the main couple. Chemistry between all the couples was great. The way that the main couple bonded over the simple things and how those became some of their greatest joys in life.

Dislikes: Ho-rang's relationship just did not work for me and there is just no way that couple would work. I was frustrated when it would switch to this storyline because it took time away from the storylines I was interested in.
Everything with Ji-ho's family felt very unsatisfying as it didn't seem to really address the issues with her dad and brother. While I liked the main couple for the most part, there were quite a few times that I didn't understand her draw to him, as he felt pretty unappealing. The last few episodes Ji-ho made some decisions that felt almost cruel and didn't make any sense.

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I just love this drama...I accidently started watching this series and got addicted to it.If you are a fan of typical romcom K dramas then its not your cup of tea.The drama speaks about some actual issues our youth facing in the society.Really liked the way story progress..The actors justified the characters.Not only the lead actors, the support actors also fid their job well.

The story talks about a homeless woman and a house poor man.Under some circumstances they stated staying in same house and got in to a fake marriage.Also the storyline focusing on other two couples..The plot seens to be realistic and we can even relate to most of the situations.

I would really recommend this drama to all the views.

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it started off really well…

i liked the drama quite a lot at the start, around ep 1-11? i especially liked how they embedded quotes and metaphors into the show, ie room 19, or the quote about how it would be better to be seen as a crazy b’tch than a pathetic wench. well a lot of these stories/quotes took quite some time for me to wrap my head around but that was the fun of the show imo. slowly figuring out what they mean through the scenes they showed us was definitely enjoyable, it was the main reason why i rated the plot as a 7.
i really loved nam sehee, how he was awkward but sincere, he’s bad with words but his affection shows anyway. episode 11 where he was stunned after meeting his ex again but showed more concern towards jiho and made her tea :((
i think ceo ma and sooji definitely CARRIEDD the show towards the end, i was just much more invested in them. in comparison, horang and wonseok were so toxic. they had completely different things they wanted and they were stressed out by their differences. i really dont think it would have worked out, they were just pressuring each other and straining themselves in the name of love. i cant believe they got back together. in comparison to sooji, horang was just portrayed a lot more dumber and just childish imo?? i didnt like how they portrayed how she wanted to get married so badly or maybe it’s my fault for not understanding the desire to get married.

compared to how much i liked sehee, i think jiho definitely paled in comparison. she constantly looks lost and half of the time i cannot comprehend her actions, especially towards the end. i even preferred the ex at some point LOL because she was cooler and more mature imo. the two exes talked it out calmly and maturely like adults should and jiho the stupid idiot ran away in the name of “love”, completely unnecessarily hurting sehee in the process. she’s so questionable, she goes around telling everyone (the ex, the father-in-law etc) that shes in love with sehee, then LITERALLY RIGHT AFTER THAT tells sehee that she wants to divorce. most heartbreakingly, that was the day sehee was going to confess, for the first time in his life.. and he was to forced to hold it back and got his heartbroken after he finally opened up. i cannot forgive her for breaking his heart like that. she’s running around like a headless chicken i cant understand her intentions, why is she hurting herself and the one she loves for no reason?? it was seriously upsetting watching her have fun at the sauna with horang when sehee legit looks like he was on the verge of death… he literally felt depressed man,, eating half cooked chicken and saying he didnt care so as long it filled his stomach, walking around and seeing jiho’s shadow everywhere.. it was so unfair that only sehee actually seemed to be suffering when jiho was just chilling?? having fun?? directing her own sad play?????????????? unbelievable tbh. and she came back to his old house and acted so frustrated he moved away and incredulously kept saying “why” like the whole bloody audience doesnt know youre the problem :)
was it because it wasnt working out? it was just hurting her?? i feel like it could have been clearer and not like im just throwing blind guesses in the dark trying to understand her. understandably, that contract had to end in a way, if they actually want to get together properly. was it meant to represent a fresh start? all it felt like was her directing her own play and running away on her own and causing sehee pain. could she not have communicated that she wanted a break and then a fresh start?? instead of leaving him depressed as shit and coming back looking for him saying she wants to confess… an actual clown ??
but then again, as the title said, this is her first life, it’s everyone’s first lives. maybe she couldnt execute the clean start properly because of this? ugh this drama makes me feel so lost towards the end. but shouldnt she at least be as heartbroken and depressed as sehee… that really broke my heart because it felt so unfair ??
i swear i have NEVER EVER EVER disliked a drama mc more than the love interest before:( i always hate the love int first because its portrayed in the mc’s pov,, it just seems to justify most actions
but HOLY SHIT JIHO you are a breath of fresh air!! i cant understand her and i ended up hating her after ep 13… how did she go from being so likeable to such a hateful toxic walking red flag at the end :)
anyways as you can see, it really kills you towards the end for me. still a great drama?? it just might not be for me?? maybe im not at the age/maturity to understand love and marriage problems as portrayed in the drama. maybe ill come back when im 30 and ill finally understand it :) or i could still hate after ep 13 jiho

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Misery loves company

The show celebrates the worst of human qualities in relationships. It starts off with an interesting but albeit old premise - two dysfunctional people enter into a contract marriage out of necessity. These two complete opposites are meant to fall in love and help each other grow, right? Nope.

One of the biggest draw backs is a lack a character development. Nam Se Hui is a human robot with a personality of a potato who only has his mortgage and cat on the brain. Yun Ji Ho is at the end of her rope with no job or a place to live. Marriage gives them an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth, but that opportunity is completely wasted because neither of them learn anything or try to better themselves. We are constantly told that Ji Ho is strong. But, in reality, she is reckless, spineless, and possesses no self-control. To me, she is mindbogglingly unlikable and perpetually miserable. She spends too much time with a toxic co-worker and manufactures a conflict with Se Hui because she suddenly feels guilty about the contract marriage. Instead of sitting down together to figure out what to do next, she divorces and leaves her husband for some pretentious reason that now she needs to find herself. All of her problems seem artificial and self-inflicted to force us to sympathize with her. Se Hui maintains the same bland frozen face for the entirety of the show. Even his feelings for Ji Ho fail to give him a personality.

Ji Ho's arcs with Bok Nam and Ko Jeong Min are mind-numbing. Bok Nam is pushy, rude, and creepy. He makes condescending remarks about her husband and disrespects her marriage. Against her better judgment, she goes off at night to drink beer and watch him make passes at her. And this character is written to be smart. The arc with Jeong Min is even more cringe. I am not sure what the writers are trying to convey here, that Ji Ho also likes women or that Jeong Min is so edgy that even women are attracted to her? Getting drunk together and Ji Ho opening up to a complete stranger, while having no communication with her husband, makes her even more off-putting and unlikable.

Now, lets talk about Ji Ho's degree. The writers constantly remind us that she graduated from a prestigious university. But, she has nothing to show for it. At 30, she has no career or job prospects. Neither does she try to pursue self-improvement. All she does is hang out with friends and settle for a part-time job while wallowing in self-pity. Most of these issues have to do with writing. Smart people strive to improve themselves so they can succeed in life. Ji Ho does nothing to do better and gives up writing altogether. The point is that she is not smart.

The ending is a suitable culmination to this marathon of cringe. The writers try to create a relationship that subverts societal expectations where the main couple just loves each other instead of attaching labels and listening to unsolicited advice from the elders. However, the only people who makes sense here are the parents. Marriage is work that is not based solely on love. Ji Ho and Se Hui's shared experiences should lead to a mature and deeper bond. Yet, the final result is an immature, superficial relationship, completely devoid of any chemistry, that doesn't even feel like it's between two genuine people. Apparently, we are supposed to be impressed that they choose to disrespect their parents and enter into household contracts instead of being in a legal marriage. Moreover, Se Hui doesn't even look like he wants this. Everything seems to be Ji Ho's idea as she continues on a quest to find herself. What a crappy message. Avoid this mess.

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CLASSIC STORY FILLED WITH EARNESTNESS

"Going through this life is the first for all of us anyway."

Unlike my other drama reviews, I have to first preface this one by saying that this drama could very well be universal, one size fits all type of drama. Because through three interwoven stories, everyone and anyone can find themselves reflected in at least one character.

Now back to my usual form of writing.

To start off, the good sides of this drama are heartfelt, true and educational(strangely enough), but it doesn`t mutually exclude the fact that they aren`t, at the same time, fluffy, somewhat funny and easy to watch. Every actor does a phenomenal job of living in their role, as their character. I thoroughly believed in these people, their struggles and way of living. No one here knows exactly what they`re doing or if what they are doing is right by default. But that doesn`t mean they don`t try. The absurdist comedy and lessons presented throughout are much of the time spot on in helping us see each person for what they stand and how. Because we do the same thing. We all have our quirks, routines and principles some might not agree with. Yet we press on. In the midst of relatable scenes that hit harder than most love confessions, my two favorites are:
1.When Ji-ho is walking through a dark tunnel in her pajamas aimlessly, after enduring sexual abuse and barely avoiding ra*e, talking about how your family could, at times, be the biggest strangers to you. How she was ready to take on every toil due to the fact that she chose to be a drama writer. She knew her path would be lonely and dark, like the tunnel she was perusing at that moment, but she still didn`t know the extent of it all. For personal reasons, that spoke to me in this exact moment of time. It was effective, clear and loud without being preachy or coming off as compensating.
2. When Se Hee was subconsciously consoling Ji-ho at that bus stop, which is probably the most well-known scene of this drama and what probably drew YOU to check it out and find out more about it. By watching this scene, I was also consoled on a deeper level not any drama could even touch, let alone soothe.
And this is where the magic of this show is contained. In its earnestness and good understanding of adult life as such. We all love admiring capable, ambitious and focused individuals(like Woo Soo Ji) without realizing that this is life...is a first for all of us. Such a simple truth is sadly almost never relayed in media. Despite being one, if not THE MOST depressed generation of our lifetime, you would never guess it by most pieces of the media we consume. And that`s such a missed opportunity this show tries to highlight. We shame others for being at crossroads, for not knowing what to do or where to turn to. And as this show so clearly expresses...we shouldn`t. Like that poem Ji-ho finds(which became my favorite as well), people are fragile, chipped away by time and situations they had to face by this point. Instead of accepting that and letting them heal, we berate them, rejecting what they can be in the process. It`s such a fruitless cycle. I get this review might be regarded as somewhat of an ode to life crisis, but it`s just an observation of young life and what awaits us as society. The fact that a show got me to think about these ideas and concepts is, in my opinion, an accomplishment on its own. It helps that it`s coupled with some visual cues movie buffs like myself appreciate even more. The OST is also subtle, but appropriate, boosting the atmosphere and letting scenes breathe on their own time. This isn`t a drama which needs emotional songs to relay its message, but when they are put in, it doesn`t hinder the feeling either.

After these compliments, like any drama, there are some drawbacks that got me thinking. First one is the pacing of it, though most Korean dramas suffer in this regard. It can at parts be too long. Especially if you`re not invested in the story, which admittedly, isn`t all that original. It`s the way they decide to present it what defines it. Without it, this is just another cohabitation story between a cold ML and a ditzy FL. To be honest, I can`t fault it for anything else, because it`s a great slice of life drama. One of those I like the most. Unassuming, changing and memorable. Kind of like life itself.

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