Fan Fiction Thread for Lost You Forever

@AH

You're welcome~ I'm a setting fanatic, any discussion about the Dahuang World is super welcome! :-)

@liddi

What is Xiang Liu's last wish, and how is it tied to Huayu releasing his soul? Why did Huayu choose to release his soul anyway? Was his wish relayed to her by the bees, fireflies and butterflies? Did Xiang Liu want his soul to be free? Why wouldn't it be free anyway if he had already accomplished everything he set out to do?

I had always thought this was Xiang Liu's last wish: 'I wish you happiness and peace of mind for the rest of your life!'

I think Huayu releasing Xiang Liu's soul will play into her personal vendetta with this particular person related to Tu Shan Zhen. Even if it may not be Xiang Liu's wish, it is necessary. In Hmong culture, the soul is very important, as are blood oaths. When two people make a blood oath, they are tied by the soul. So even if Xiang Liu freed himself and Xiaoyao from the fate of the lovers' bugs, he didn't free their souls from the blood oath, per se. 

I am almost done re-editing the next chapter. Will share soon.

In this chapter, we will explore a different point of view. I am experimenting with parallel storytelling, so while everything is happening on the island with Huayu and Maoqiu, the events in this next chapter are occurring simultaneously.

Chapter 10: Eternally Yearning

In Qingshui Town, a middle-aged woman wakes up to a strange emptiness around her, as if she is losing something incredibly precious. Her room is cozy, and she hears a sweet but sad melody cutting through the still of the night. She feels as though it has been a thousand years since she felt this kind of unexplainable loss. She places her hand on her heart, but then she remembers the Lovers' Bugs were destroyed so many years ago. So, what is this emptiness coming from?

She stumbles out of bed, opening her window to witness silver butterflies flying across the sky. In her courtyard, fireflies dance all around, while a sickly man tends to a small patch of herbs. He looks up at her and stands up among the fireflies, smiling at her. However, the little bugs avoid him and fly around him before their lights dissipate, and silver wings emerge and ascend into the sky.

Suddenly, she remembers how beautiful the Lover’s Bugs looked when she had made her blood oath with the demon, whose name she hasn't said aloud for centuries and whose face she cannot recall anymore. A flashing light beams from the eastern horizon, blinding her. Her heart hurts, one hand clutching her chest, the other grasping desperately onto the fireflies. The smile on the sickly man fades, he drops his garden tool, and rushes over to her, limping.

The woman spits out blood, feeling lightheaded as she faints. For the past thousand years, she has found unexplainable comfort gazing dazedly into the east where the demon died. Or the surprising happiness that possesses her when the fireflies dance around her. For some reason, after this daybreak, she will no longer find comfort. The fireflies are leaving and will never return. After wandering and exploring countless islands, she has avoided the one where he last stood. Had she known it would disappear too, she would have visited.

That early morning, the woman dreams of a man in a white robe, whose handsome face verges on the surreal. His hair is soft like snowflakes. His demeanor is cold as ice, but his smile is as warm as spring sunlight. He stands on the ocean waves, the full moon rising on the horizon. He turns around and beckons her to take his hand. His peach blossom eyes reflect the moonlight as the woman runs into his arms instead. In his embrace, she cries, muffling her sadness. Her tears fall and drench his white robe.

After crying her heart out, she peers at him. This time his hair has turned black, and he smirks at her. His hand holds her face as he presses a kiss to her forehead. His pink lips feel soft on her skin, sending an unexplainable chill down her spine and encasing her soul. Her yearning for him bursts furiously like fireworks, burning and boiling her blood. She wants to call his name, but the lump in her voice forbids her. He continues to smile as he takes her hand and kisses it.

The moment his lips touch her hand, his hair turns white and gleams in the moonlight. He takes one of her wrists and presses closer to his lips, when he suddenly opens his mouth and two fangs pierce her skin. She looks at him attentively as he sucks her blood. He glances towards her and their eyes meet. Her heart quickens, and she chokes on her grief. Tears stream down her face uncontrollably. When he is done, he licks the spot and a slight bruise akin to a kiss appears. Instantaneously, the man’s white robe starts to dissipate. The fabric fades like vapor, each stream transforming into silver butterflies, its wings soft like snowflakes, fluttering into the abyss. When they disappear, the snow-like remnant softly falls down, landing onto the woman, and melting.

She wants to scream for him to stay, but all she can do is cry. She runs after the snow butterflies, trying to hold onto them, but as soon as the man disappears, she falls into the water. Struggling back up, she breaks through the water surface and swims after them. No matter how far she swims, she can’t catch up. She is so tired; yet, this time, she is determined to follow him even if it risks drowning. Just when she has spent all her energy, she sees a figure walking on water, white like snowfall. The person grabs onto the woman’s hand and helps pull her up on the water surface. Catching her breath, the woman looks up with a smile, “Xian…”

But the person before her is not the man she chased after! “Who are you?” The woman asks.

“Who do you think I am?” This person is unfathomably beautiful, her hair dancing between white and silver, and her lips blood red like canna flowers. She emanates a dreamlike aura that stirs a deeply rooted envy in the woman’s heart. She is filled with calm, but her dark eyes shimmer like fireflies with a splendor greater than anything the woman has ever encountered.

She cowers down to the woman, grabs her chin, leans into the woman's ear, with a breath chillier than the blizzard winds, she whispers, “Xiling Xiao Yao. A blood oath needs to be paid with blood. Lord Xiang Liu’s blood alone cannot pay the price of two.”

All of a sudden, the woman named Xiling Xiao Yao finds herself on the cliff just beyond the Dragon Bone Prison. What feels like a dream somehow feels too real. She can sense the breeze, smell the salt mixing in by the sea, hear the cawing of the birds. Baffled and cautious, she calls forth her bow and arrow and readies her poison for an attack, waiting for the woman with the white hair to appear. With her back straightened and ready to shoot, she cautiously looks around her surroundings. The tiny hairs on her arms perk up as a cold voice sounds behind her.

“A blood oath needs to be paid in blood. Lord Xiang Liu’s blood alone cannot pay for the price of two.”

She turns around to see the white-haired woman looking out at the sea. Without hesitation, Xiao Yao shoots the arrow straight for the woman's heart, but to Xiao Yao's surprise, the arrow stops midair. Without turning around, the woman snaps her fingers, and the arrow disperses into snowflakes and disappears.

“Xiling Xiao Yao, your tricks don't work in purgatory. If you continue to shoot useless things at me, I may decide not to return your soul,” she says without looking back. As Xiao Yao tries to make sense of where and how she got here, she suddenly thinks that the woman looks unfathomably familiar, with her white hair and pristine robe.

“I paid my blood oath already… how dare you accuse me of not doing so?”

The woman laughs out loud, her voice cold but sweet. Finally turning around, she smiles at Xiao Yao, who feels a pang at how ethereally beautiful she is. The woman saunters towards her with the mannerisms of a playboy teasing a maiden.

“Fang Feng Bei… Xiang Liu…” Xiao Yao begins, stepping back from her approach.

“Tsk… tsk… who would've thought you would mistake me for someone else?” the woman cuts Xiao Yao off.

“Xiang Liu, I know you have nine heads and eighty-one transformations. You can't fool me. Have you returned to kill me finally?” Xiao says, determined. “I see you made use of my blood.”

“Interesting,” the white-haired woman replies, acknowledging with a disbelieving attitude. With her eyebrows raised a bit, she walks around Xiao Yao, observing flirtatiously. “I'm not here to be the one you wished for me to be.”

“I don't wish for you to be anyone. I know who you are,” Xiao Yao declares. “If you're not going to kill me, kindly send me back from this place.”

“Hmmmm… I spent many moons wondering why Lord Xiang Liu had taken a liking to you,” the woman laughs. “Do you even dream of him?” Before Xiao Yao can answer, the woman remarks, “Even if we've met under different circumstances, I don't think we could've been friends? Tsk…tsk…” The woman shakes her head.

With the woman's response, Xiao Yao finds herself dumbfounded. She recalls that Xiang Liu had never mentioned a female subordinate or any woman, for that matter, in their short time together. Now, the envy that strangely sprouted moments ago in the open sea is creeping up like a vine upon a tree in her heart. She remembers that as Fang Feng Bei, he often is in the company of many beautiful and talented women, more or less than her, so perhaps it's understandable that they would know of her. However, was she ever really that important to him? Weren't they just another set of temporary companions, helping each other kill boredom? So why would this woman seek her out with such malicious intent? More importantly, how could she know of Xiao Yao when Xiao Yao doesn't know of her?

To Xiao Yao, this woman seems closer to his heart than Xiao Yao could ever imagine, and the envy in her own heart bloomed twice as large. In his eyes, she and he aren't even ordinary friends; their relationship is strictly transactional, with each interaction being clearly defined and fair. All their years together in Qingshui Town, archery lessons, and wining and dining throughout DaHuang are so worthless to him that he doesn't even bother to tell her about this beautiful woman who now seeks her out for revenge!

“Xiang Liu. Why? Why do you do this to me?” She thinks to herself. “In the end, Xiang Liu had been exceedingly cruel to me only.”

The white-haired woman smirks, then she chuckles, and as if she can read Xiao Yao's heart, she says, “Lord Xiang Liu didn't have another woman. He only wishes for you to have a happy and carefree life. Unfortunately, a blood oath demands a payment in blood.”

“I've already paid Xiang Liu more than enough with my blood and dignity!” Xiao Yao refutes, shocked and disbelieving that Xiang Liu would have such a wish for her. Anger starts to collect in Xiao Yao's heart and mind.

“It's not Lord Xiang Liu you owe a blood payment… It’s me,” the woman replies, her demeanor calm and collected.

Xiao Yao, in disbelief, watches as the woman walks over to the cliff again. “I don't even know you; how could I owe you such a payment?”

With her back towards Xiao Yao, she laughs once again, lifting her hand, and a burst of fireflies appear all around her. “Xiling Xiao Yao, you don’t know me, but you should know my loved one, when he bore into your heart. As long as you are alive, my loved one is bonded here by your yearning. And each passing day, he will start to lose his mind and turn into a hungry wrath, unable to return to the ancestors.”

She turns around, her eyes watery. “I've tried to avoid the inevitable, even distracting myself with fruitless things to do. I will give you time to say your goodbyes.”

Xiao Yao puts her hands over her heart where the Lover’s Bugs once lived. “I don't understand…”

“In the end, you really have no one to blame except for your own uselessness.” She scoffs, and with a swish of her sleeve, the fireflies swirl around her, and she quickly dissipates into the bright swarm, flying towards the sea.

“Wait… come back here. I don't understand. Everything you just said doesn't make sense. Who are you?” Xiao Yao runs towards the swarm, to the edge of the cliff, and continues to scream, “Who are you? Why are you doing this?” Tears of frustration and anger well up.

“I've taken on Lord Xiang Liu’s yearning so that he may rest in peace. In four hundred and ten years, a solar eclipse will cross paths over here. The Sun Maiden and Moon Gentleman have agreed to bear witness to when you honor your blood debt to me,” the woman's voice calls out beyond the sea as the trail of fireflies disappears into the horizon. “I will wait for you just beyond the Dragon Bone Prison, where it all began.”

When Xiao Yao reaches the cliff, she falls to her knees, her head and heart in incredible pain. Xiao Yao, who has spent her entire life believing in what she wants to believe instead of the truth, has caused the connection between her heart and mind to sever. Every time her heart and mind try to synchronize, Xiao Yao experiences unbearable pain because when she refuses to believe in something, she fights with all her soul.

As tears begin to fall, she sees two familiar silhouettes upon the ocean waves, surrounded by bright fireflies. The fireflies swarm around two men—one with white hair in a robe, and the other a short and sturdy man—and disappear into their hearts. As the fireflies settle into their hearts, the silhouettes change. This time, Xiao Yao witnesses a man helping a woman onshore, and out of their sight, a man in a white robe resembling Xiang Liu stands on the ocean waves. Instantaneously, he hunches over, clutching his chest, and fireflies start to fly out chaotically, only to be subdued by the man's spiritual powers.

Xiao Yao's heart burst with pain, and a stream of tears gushed down her cheeks, at the sight. She starts to scream, but her voice is silent, her body convulses, and she falls off the cliff. As she falls, her body jerks alive, her arms flailing, and she sits straight up in her cozy room, being tended by a skinny, sickly, and worried man.

 plor20:

Chapter 10: Eternally Yearning

Fascinating chapter - thank you so much for sharing. Now I understand what you meant in Ch9 about Xiang Liu's last wish:

"Maoqiu didn't understand that releasing a soul as powerful as Xiang Liu, who had been tethered to the very grounds where they stood for a millennium, would require an even greater exchange—one that he might not have wanted if he had known—that one day he would have to choose between defending his Master’s last wish or the love of his life. "

since Huayu had come to exact payment from Xiao Yao and claim her life, when all Xiang Liu wanted was for her to live a lifetime of carefree peace and happiness. 

 plor20:

“Xiling Xiao Yao, you don’t know me, but you should know my loved one, when he bore into your heart. As long as you are alive, my loved one is bonded here by your yearning. And each passing day, he will start to lose his mind and turn into a hungry wrath, unable to return to the ancestors.”

So Huayu was the incarnation of the female bug that entered Xiang Liu, while her loved one was the one that entered Xiao Yao? Is that the reason she knew so much about Xiang Liu, including his mannerisms, because she had been living inside of him for all those years? Yet didn't Xiang Liu destroy both bugs when he drew the one in Xiao Yao into himself before killing them by sacrificing one of his own lives? How did Huayu survive, if her loved one did not and transformed into a restless spirit, bound by Xiao Yao's longing? So were the fireflies that kept Xiao Yao company all these years the remnants that survived when Xiang Liu destroyed the 蛊虫 poisonous bugs？

Another question - weren't the poisonous bugs solely devoted to each other only? How then does Huayu's connection with Maoqiu work? Was Maoqiu just a temporal replacement for her lover whom she now needed to release and allow him to find peace? How could she survive alone when her lover's soul was finally freed? Or was that the payment that was needed of her as well, that her soul too would finally depart when his was released. If that were the case, my heart goes out to Maoqiu, to lose the two people he loved most in the world.

At last, Xiao Yao is finally forced to face the consequences of her choices - to see for herself how Xiang Liu suffered when she went to Jing. Will what is hidden securely inside the laughing big-bellied doll be revealed too? 

The legend of the sun and moon is beautifully poignant. So they would only meet during the solar eclipse, when the sun and the moon could finally touch? The Chinese folklore of the cowherd and weaver girl is similar in the sense that they were lovers whose romance was forbidden, and ultimately they were banished to opposite ends of the Milky Way, only able to meet once a year on the 7th day of the 7th lunar month, when a flock of magpies would form a bridge to reunite the lovers for a day.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

 ZYHLJ:

The difference is that Xiang Liu has a complete master personality and he has absolute control, he can take over control of any head at any time, and these sub-personalities are not pathological or extreme, they are normal personalities with different temperaments and abilities.

 ZYHLJ:

The same is true for Xiang Liu, each head is a side of him, and together they constitute "Xiang Liu", and the complete self-awareness of "Xiang Liu" can command every head. :-)

Does this master personality only emerge when he's in human form and all of his serpent heads are subsumed under one? Or does it also exist when he's in his serpent form?

 ZYHLJ:

There will definitely be similar co-brand activities when the second season is aired. I will post links here. If you find something you want to have, I can send it to you as a small gift, only need to learn how to send international express :-)

Aww, thank you so much. That's very kind of you. 

Hopefully, they'll release a few more merchandise with the second season. I want XL and FFB figurines that are like Funko Pop. I saw them for other series, but haven't seen them for LYF.

The milk tea or what we call Bubble Tea (with tapioca pearls or other toppings) is quite expensive in my country. With the rising cost of living, it's quite an expensive habit. They cost around $8 while a cup of coffee probably averages around $5-6. I usually get it with zero sugar since the sugar from the pearls is sweet enough for me. They are relatively easy to get where I am. 

I remember when I was in Bruges last year and came across Gong Cha; I was so pleasantly surprised. It was even more expensive in Bruges. You know which European city has a surprisingly high number of bubble tea places? Praque. The city centre has so many bubble tea shops compared to London, Paris, Rome. I think it has to do with the relatively high Vietnamese population in the country. All the bubble tea shops looked to be run by Vietnamese :-)

 HeadInTheClouds:

Thank you to Plor and ZYHLJ for continuing to write these stories. I came bearing a token of appreciation - borrowing some else's talent :-).

The life of Xiang Liu in modern time ( the other character is Li Yi Fei from Love Has Fireworks.)

Picture 3 - XL: bubbling gas means poison. No need to thanks me!

Picture 4: LYF: This is cola, of course there's bubbling gas .

A few hours later

Last picture - XL: Are there any left?

                              LYF: none left!

Our 9 headed serpent is a Coke fine. Look at his 8 heads drinking that coke :-). 

haha...JC's characters against each other are the best. XD ♥‿♥!(^o^)!(≧▽≦)(>ω<)

 liddi:

Is that why Xiang Liu's soul remained on the island, because his soul was trapped as well? Yet why didn't Huayu know which island he was on and had to confirm with Maoqiu? Wouldn't she have known, since she was closely in tune with Xiang Liu, even knowing what his last wish was, which was made after the lovers bug connection was destroyed?

The soul's inability to leave is connected to Hmong beliefs about blood oaths, which are considered bad omens. In blood oaths, it doesn't matter whether it is the will of the living person; the soul requires it to be fulfilled. For example, while XL was alive, he may have killed the Lover's bugs in order to spare XY's physical life. However, XL's soul remains bound by the blood oath. Tong Hua actually wrote the Lover's Bugs in three layers: the physical connection, the verbal oath, and the blood oath. 

XL kills the physical connection, XY fulfills the verbal oath; however, the blood oath remains which states that you either love in life or die in heartbreak. Since they cannot love in life, they will have to die in heartbreak.

In Hmong superstition regarding blood oaths, a living person may be haunted by the deceased individual until they are both united in death, perpetuating a cycle of karma until the oath is fulfilled. Only changing the name of the person can deter or prolong the life of the living individual. In this case, XY, through her transformation, has evaded XL's soul for many years. The fireflies are remnants of his soul searching for her. The dream I wrote depicts XL's soul finally finding her, and her swimming after him symbolizes the 'poob plig' phenomenon, where the living person loses their soul. According to Hmong belief, when the soul of a deceased person finds the soul of the living, they take it with them, causing the living person to die from illness. However, I perceive that because XY is a deity, losing her soul would not kill her; as a survivor, she would eventually find her way back to her body.

Huayu taking on XL's yearning means that she has taken the responsibility of closing the karmic cycle on his behalf so that he can rest in peace. Therefore, she is carrying her own burden as well as XL's.

I had wanted her to ask Maoqiu the question about the island as a way for her to reassure herself. She always knew, but she had been finding excuses not to do it. Releasing XL's soul buys her a little time. If every day XY is alive, her loved one gets madder, so the effect is the same for her. Every day XL's soul remains, she is also losing her mind. As for XL's wish, it is nullified as far as Huayu is concerned; she has no reason to keep or treasure XY because she betrayed the blood oath first.

Keep getting distracted, but I wanted to let everyone know I'm enjoying the comments and the fanfiction.

Also, I was watching the first episode again for some reason, and when the kids are saying goodbye to XY's mom who is going off to war, a big butterfly flew up behind Kid CX's head and then landed on him.  And I immediately thought of your fanfic, plor20.