Episode 15 feedback from an autistic + relationship commentary

Dear IYOO, you might have answered this question in a post I haven’t read. The way Attorney Woo introduces herself (kayak, deed, rotator, different words in Korean) is a cute part of the show. But she certainly is intelligent enough to recognize that she doesn’t need to give the full introduction every time. For example, a couple of times she’s commented to others, like Jun Ho, that  “you can’t say that in the office,” or similar comments, when she’s been told not to say certain things.  Do you think that it is unrealistic that she would introduce herself that way every time and is just a cute part of the show, or is it something that an autistic just cannot help herself?  I have a similar question about her not being able to hold back on talking about Attorney Jung’s chances to survive stomach cancer. 

 lemonade:

As a neurotypical who haven't meet many autistic people, but still somehow was able to see so much discrmination against people on the ASD spectrum, it feels somehow upsetting to know someone's views who went through this type of prejudice, and discriminations. The place where I come from isn't that nice to autistic people and I don't think I've ever got to know about autistic people through an autistic person's lenses, s

Thank you. Yes, the world is different through our lenses. And the discrimination, prejudice, stigma on top of it …

 Nbj123:

But she certainly is intelligent enough to recognize that she doesn’t need to give the full introduction every time.

Aha, good question.

I've been thinking about this since episode 1 but I can't put my finger on it (wow I always wanted to use that idiom, lol). The recent discussion on this thread I think helped.

So this is what I think why she's doing her introduction: she's getting ahead to cut on potential awkwardness or derailment of the agenda. The recent discussion made me think to literally include a disclaimer in every sentence to avoid being misunderstood.

I think it is similar in Young Woo's intro. If she left it at "Woo Young Woo", people will react "like this, like that, hahaha". She probably came up with that introduction probably because she was bullied in school about her name. Instead of turning the experience into something negative, she turned it into something positive. The result being, anyone who wants to react about her name (and possibly make a joke about it) no longer have an option to do so because they were simply stunned and confused (probably thinking, "what just happened?")

It's quite possibly that, stop the reaction (and jokes) before it even start.

 Nbj123:

Do you think that it is unrealistic that she would introduce herself that way every time and is just a cute part of the show, or is it something that an autistic just cannot help herself?

Is it something an autistic just cannot help? It depends on the situation and what it is about. Like in her case, her unique name.

I haven't met someone with a name like hers, I've seen/read but meeting someone offline, I don't think I met one. But, I've seen people (offline) make laugh of other people's name; and I've seen people who introduces themselves and then say, "yes, I know, this and that, ha … ha … ha …" which stunned everyone and wonder (or rather whisper later), "did something happen to him/her?"; "S/he was probably bullied before".

I'm leaning towards that as far as Young Woo's unique introduction is concerned.

 Nbj123:

I have a similar question about her not being able to hold back on talking about Attorney Jung’s chances to survive stomach cancer.

Haha. Yeah, that one. Some autistics do. Some autistics don't naturally. Some autistics don't because someone told them not to (and they added it in their internal checklist of 'social dos and donts').

It's more on finding it hard to navigate the social expectations of society because an autistic's mind was not wired for it.

Also, you raised a point earlier how she was already told about things to say and not to say, and yet in other areas she's still doing it. Literalism plays a role in this. She was told she should not talk about whales anytime she wants, especially during work hours because this and that. But she took it literally to be about whales only … not about, in this case, how Attorney Jung could die.

There are autistic people who understands the underlying reason, and as such applies it in other situations. There are also who just can not see it (and that is fine), and so one has to explain it as the situation arise.

In Young Woo's case, it's hard to say. For one, she is new to the outside real world. It was her first job and first real exposure after she graduated. So she's still navigating it. Maybe she will start to connect the "social dots" behind the "no talking whenever you want" social rule. Or, maybe she won't and she has to learn things on a case-by-case basis.

Oh, re: "something an autistic can not help", it also applies, like in the case of Young Woo, she starts to state facts even if it means death. I was like that (about death) until someone told me I should not just state facts about death. However, my stance on deaths remain the same, I just no longer say it … and if even one asks, I had to literally ask "are you asking for comfort or are you asking about the logic?" Those things I had to learn.

That said, even though some autistics can find the underlying reason for a social rule, it does not mean it is applied in situations that looks similar for a non-autistic. Accuracy plays a role too. If a situation does not appear to be similar with the other situations, a particular social rule will more likely not be applied. OR, it just gets applied all the time even if the situation is different (but there are similarities), even if someone says it is alright. Something like "I was told not to say this and that" will probably heard.

 Nbj123:

Thanks. I did have a similar thought about the awkwardness in her introduction, but you explained it more articulately. 

Bluesky, np jumping in. This is really the first time for me jumping into a thread (I’m an old man and really should get with the program).  I’ve enjoyed the wonderful comments. My wife has watched kdramas for years and we’ve started watching some together. She loves them because they don’t have the same level of language, violence and sex that US programs have. US programs are kept to a strict 43 minutes to allow commercials to fill up one hour.  Kdramas run as long as needed to tell the story.  Filling out the story in kdramas is more complete. US stories are done in seeming shorthand to squeeze as much story into those 43 minutes. And the story lines teach good value lessons, which EAW expertly did. Thanks to all. I hope to find you on another kdrama. 

I see, thats great !! Yes there are many wonderful series based on your preferred genre. (or Combinations of genres) . Good to hear that you enjoyed the series.

Ongoing series will have lot of discussions and live comments. (Its like watching together with all) Finished series may have old comments , so its slightly challenging to go through them . 

Great, we will meet in another series.

Likewise.

The usual disclaimer. I am writing this based on my experience as a late-diagnosed autistic woman and the parent of an autistic daughter. I do not claim to speak for all autistic people. But I do use “we” to reflect some widely shared experiences in the autistic community.

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