Polyamory (and alternative relationship styles)

finally some decent polyamorous representation (triad)

• MMM

So. So. Toxic. please let me know if you want trigger warnings because it gets ugly

cheating to polyamory

• FFM

✨Repeat actor: Gong Hyo Jin

Cathy and Jessie end up dating Takashi at the same time at the very end of the last episode. They seem to be very jealous of each other, but they have a system they've agreed to for dating him.

• FMF (not the main characters)

✨ Directed by Kaneko Fuminori 
✨Repeat Writer: Kudo Kankuro

Gon ends up in an open relationship with Nagi, but they don't communicate about it at all.

• FM(+ mystery women)

There is some interest expressed in sharing boyfriends, but this is ultimately an open relationship that turns into cheating. The dynamic is unicorn hunters looking for a hookup. Includes poor communication and repeatedly crossing established boundaries.

• MMM

Queer platonic relationship (be warned, there is a LOT of toxic masculinity here. Probably also homophobia? it's been a while since I watched this, but this show is unexpectedly super queer)

• MMF

Queer platonic relationship (triad). The dynamic is never called this, but this is what it is

• MMF

Polyamory (kind of toxic, poor communication) V dynamic

• MFM

It takes a while (and gets toxic) but eventually becomes polyamorous. I believe it was a V?

cheating to polyamory

• MFM

Relationship anarchy. I think this is the first time I have seen this relationship style in television or movies. Wasn't a fan of the directing thou tbh

cheating to polyamory

• MMF (plus other love interests that are mlw and wlw and mlm)

Conditional V dynamic (she must choose one, but she can date them both at the same time for a certain period of time)

cheating to polyamory to monogamy

• MFM but omg did the two guys have such strong qpr energy. There were also two other love triangle lines that were MFF and FMM

✨ Repeat actor: Jo Jung Suk, Gong Hyo Jin

swinging

• (idk i didnt watch it)

Polyamory

• MMF

conditional v dynamic (kitchen table style), but it ends in polyamory

cheating to polyamory

• FMM and then FM(+ mystery men)

One of the supporting characters mentions that it doesn't matter if her crush has a partner, she'll go for them anyway! Not sure yet if she means cheating or something else, but putting on this list for now and will update when i finish the show. Update: I don't remember this getting any clearer. 

Parallel polyamory

• oh boy idk how to categorize, this was like... MFFF for the dude (eventually), but the girls also had their own relationship dynamics with other people I believe. I don't remember the exacts about them though.

The characters are in an open relationship. The dynamic seems to be a V

• MFF

It starts off like they're practicing parallel polyamory.  There are two married couples, and the first married couple has a V dynamic parallel style. However, the second married couple has one person who hasn't been informed of the third partner, which...of course would be cheating. 

Ichiko ends up seeing a gigilo (Rei) to fulfil her own sexual needs as her husband only likes to have sex with one person at a time, and he is currently sleeping with his lover. However, after he quits sex work, Rei tries to build a relationship with Ichiko. In episode 5, Ichiko describes her relationship "open," however she isn't really honest about this with her husband :( When her husband leaves home, Ichiko kind of throws out the whole being "open" in her relationship in the hopes that she can repair the damage done to their marriage. 

monogamy > open relationship > cheating* > monogamy? > divorce

• FMF
• MFM (cheating)

*Despite both claiming to be in an open relationship, both of them also lie about their relationships with other people. Because of this, I would consider those actions cheating rather than an ethically non-monogamous. 

The protagonists get into a FWB thing. Ren is okay with Kazuma seeing other people, but Kazuma is not interested in doing so. Their relationship is fairly monogamish. 

• MM

Swinging

• FM/FM

Friends with benefits (multiple partners) includes cheating

• FMMMMM (main character and supporting characters)
• MFFFF (main character and supporting characters)

✨Repeat writer: Date Sorami

same as ^^

same as ^^

same as ^^ and also someone who is already in a relationship asks someone else to marry him to act as his beard.

references past sex friends and deals with trying to revert to monogamy after having sex friends for a decent chunk of time. 

• MF

well... not sure if this counts or not because of a technicality. The leads are married to each other, but the SL knows its a fake marriage. He wants to date the FL even though she is married... but its a fake marriage so thats why I'm unsure if I should count it. For now it's on here anyway. But honestly im in love with the way the ML has zero expectations of relationship dynamics whether they are as friends or as lovers. Like he just takes people as they are and respects that with no assumptions. That's just so good... so good. I love him. AGUh idk how to explain but it gives me a relationship anarchy kind of vibe even though that was not what they were going for at all. But its what my heart wanted lmao XD

There's also an interesting minor character who is getting divorced with his wife. They both seem to want to be together still, but she doesn't want to be legally married to her husband anymore. Well, that's enough of an alternative relationship to count for this list ^_^

✨Directed by Kaneko Fuminori 

I highly recommend you just watch this one instead of reading about it because the delivery is so good and worth not being spoiled. WATCH EPISODE 2. This is an anthology so each episode is a different story. Only episode 2 is the polyamorous one.

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SPOILERS
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The protagonist starts off not wanting an open relationship, though I don't think his partner hides his relationships. However, the polyamorous lead is clearly gung-ho about his partner finding a new partner and is like "yoooo triad squadddd" lmao They also actually literally define their relationship as polyamory. While I appreciate that's what two of the main characters were aiming for, this definitly would not be considered ethical non-monogamy because this is clearly not a consenting relationship. Along with the cheating there is poor communication and repeated crossing of boundaries. (If you watched The Ultimatum: Queer Love, the protagonist and his first boyfriend are basically Tiff and Mildred in terms of kissing their way through every conflict.) There's an emphasis on consent from an outside party, but it's never delivered on within the actual dynamic. The tone is comedic and silly.

• MMMMMMMM (cheating... I think I counted that correctly? Main characters and mystery men)
• MMM triad (nesting partners, main characters)

cheating to polyamory (but no one is claiming this is a healthy relationship)

Monogamish sex friends but pretty bad communication of boundaries. I think the SFL was trying to go for a "no-nonsense badass" but she just came off as rude :/ 

they also have other scenes with other people who are FWB

• M+ an unknown number of women and F+ an unknown number of men (not the main characters)
  • When these two get together it becomes MF

One of the second FLs (Momoi) is pretty open about having sex friends. 

And Mamarou makes the suggestion that if Rei and Shuto want to have a platonic relationship, Rei should be able to pursue sexual relationships with other people. (Mamarou is very much interested, and steps into cheating territory even after having this conversation :/) This show is pretty monogamish though

• MF (main characters) 
• MF+ an unknown number of men (supporting and unknown characters)

✨Repeat writer: Date Sorami

In episode 7, Junko refers to her relationship as something between three people. This is not explicitly agreed upon between the two guys, Mutchy and Kiyoshi, but we can see there is some back and forth between them. Mutchy yields Junko to Kiyoshi, but he also fights to see her too, not really forfeiting like a classic SML would, but it also doesn't feel like a standard love triangle. But mostly, this is on the list because of the way that Junko seems to interpret the relationship. She also has no qualms going on dates with another man who is neither Mutchy nor Kiyoshi, and she has no issue with that man having a girlfriend. This doesn't exclude the possibility of it being cheating, but I just thought her outlook on dating was interesting. 

Her husband later on is also a womanizer who is dating other women while engaged to her, but he promises to never be with another woman once they get married, and she seems fine with this arrangement.

• Mainly MFM for Junko, but also open beyond that. 

✨Directed by Kaneko Fuminori 
✨Repeat writer: Kudo Kankuro

Up to interpretation

• MMF

FWB (or as they call it in Japan, sex friends) that ends in monogamy

• MF

i cant remember that well but I think this was a friends with benefits thing?

i dont remember the dynamic

In episode 8, Mark says "I must ask how many boyfriends she has," in a  way that felt like he didn't mind if she was dating other people. He also cheats on many women, but his open-minded approach to Joanna counts for this list. To be clear, these are not the main characters.

• This is how to explain.... this is MMF but like MF that eventually becomes platonic (not the protagonists). There's like a kid involved and the three agree to co-parent together.

Recommended by anonymous: 

"The show features a V poly situation where the main male lead has a romantic dynamic with both a boy and a girl at the same time. The chemistry between everyone is great [...]"

• MMF

Will update when I watch it too! ^_^

Update! I watched this and didn't feel the relationship dynamic was explicit enough for me personally, and that's probably because I really value direct communication with clearly defined dynamics in my relationships. I can see why it could be interpreted the way anon recommended it. The romance between the leads that anon mentions is mostly homoeroticism, while towards the end it becomes a lot of self-sacrifice, which in the context of youth dramas can be done by your friends (this is a rag-tag group) or for someone you love when it's also a romance drama. For me, because there's never the air that Longjie would want to date both Renyu and Biyu at the same time, I wouldn't count it. 

While this drama breaks my first qualification for this list, "At least 1 person in the dynamic is comfortable with consensual non-monogamy," as we don't get an indication of this at any point, this recommendation is a good opportunity to reflect on the fact that not everyone's experience in non-monogamy has such clear-cut borders of "dating" vs "not dating." And for that alone I'll make it an exception to the list. It's a good reminder that there are lots of different ways to experience non-monogamy.

When they're in college, He Xi Zhen is in an open relationship with her boyfriend. Wen Hao Sheng doesn't approve, and she says she's okay with it, but it doesn't seem to be a healthy relationship :( And her meta  is super mean!!! But then later He Xi Zhen says the meta is just her boyfriend's confidante.... so not his other partner? A little confused on this one. Might not actually count. Probably need to rewatch. Lmk what you think!

• MFF (one of the main characters and then side characters)
• (also if you're looking for trans and/or intersex characters, here ya go! While it was cheating, the dynamic with the protagonist who I interpreted as trans is MFF as well. This was with all the main characters)

This one is up to interpretation, but I think it's fair to say from her nap dream that this is about wanting some kind of polyamorous relationship

• FFM

Literally up to the audience

• MFF

This barely counts, but Sora wishes her parents and Shun to live together. :')

• MM

This is a story about a triad. It starts off really sweet before the relationship starts to crack. 

I found this interesting as it felt pretty real. Jieun, the most experienced of the group in more than two dynamics, starts off pretty bluntly getting into rules. At first, I thought "oh her rules are pretty controlling. Is she going to grow out of that?" but as her characterization went on, I realized that's just where she is in life. I liked seeing how she tries to manipulate her jealousy, because it's a pretty real experience and something people do sometimes try to tackle that way. And I loved her line of "I'm not living an experiment," and suddenly realizing that's all that Yeon thought this was. Idk Minjun also brought something interesting to the table as the guy who  bragged about having two girlfriends, kind of bringing out that common insecurity people have about MFF arrangements. Each of them were characters who felt like they represented different perceptions and experiences of polyamory. It was kind of dope. They all had flaws they couldn't really overcome, and sometimes its worth watching a movie where people fail.

• MFF

Type interprets their relationship as he can flirt with other people. When they do talk about boundaries it's not pretty and even involves punching. Type is adamant that their relationship is nonexclusive while Tharn would prefer they be monogamous even if it's only as sex friends.

Sex friends to casual lovers to monogamy

• MM

a love triangle where one man proposes to a lady, who is in love with someone else. He knows and says he doesn't mind the two being together and even offers to raise any future children from the two. This show ends up being monogamous though

• MF (but one of the characters wishes it was MFM)

This is on the weird boundry of "this does not really count, but it sort of counts." Very unconsensual.

• FMF

✨ Repeat actor: Jo Jung Suk

So these two did not communicate about what kind of relationship they were going to be in or anything. Because of this there's a misunderstanding where Ritsu assumed they were in an open relationship and Masumi assumed they were in a monogamous relationship. Yikes! 

• MM(+ mystery people)

Momo (aka Takeshi) at one point asks if he can still be Iwaya's pet if she gets married (episode 5). Not that any throuple actually happens, but it counts for this list! Because her relationship with Momo is a secret, the show's dynamic is more like cheating.

• MFM

✨Directed by Kaneko Fuminori 

Megumi and Kotora are described as being sex friends. Kotora doesn't consider himself to be boyfriend-girlfriend with Megumi, but they're still seeing each other. It's the kind of relationship where Kotora gives Mugmi's number to Ryuji when they all know he likes her. Also Megumi very clearly is not interested in being tied down to any one person (though she does seem interested in dating) and flirts with many different guys.

• im not gonna try and categorize that one lmao its too complicated. (protagonists and others)

There's also an odd relationship dynamic with the rakugo teacher. He has a girlfriend??? who is also his second wife?? but he is also married. Anyway, the husband also tries to set his girlfriend up with his old friend from college. And he tells Kotora not to tell anyone about her, but also he introduces her to everyone so I'm not actually sure what's going on here. I think he is hiding the relationship from his wife though, so that's cheating.... right? Except that his wife and his girlfriend both know about each other and actually are good friends, and they keep their friendship a secret from their boyfriend/husband! Wait... maybe that's still cheating.

• uhhhhhhh this is.... FMF? Yeah... but then its MF MF (supporting characters)

✨Directed by Kaneko Fuminori 
✨Repeat writer: Kudo Kankuro

okay but hear me out.... if you look at it as a metaphor.... then Lu Jin's personal chef was looking for a non-monogamous relationship. But that's only if you interpreted it as a metaphor (like I did).

• MF (but in my head its FMF)

In the FIRST EPISODE the ML asks about polyamory. However, while there is infidelity, this is a show that focuses on monogamy and cheating throughout. 

• MF and the guy ends up cheating with another woman (his wife's sister)

So this is a lavender relationship between a gay man (Otoya) and a woman (Ruri). However, the woman falls in love with her husband while he finds the touch of a woman repulsive, describing it like a phobia. Typically, I wouldn't count a lavender relationship, but because Otoya's partner (Junpei) knows that Ruri is in love with Otoya, and neither Junpei nor Ruri mind that they are both in love with Otoya, I think it counts for at least something that is not your typical relationship style. It may be one-sided for her, but they all consider each other family. However... 

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SPOILERS
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Alas what are we to do? Ruri falls for Junpei too and they cheat together.  Still, Ruri wants the three of them to raise a child together and continue their home life as. Otoya ends up cheating on Junpei I guess in retaliation? But the guy he sleeps with is like "wait but that's beautiful" and Otoya ends up agreeing to a three-person relationship with Ruri and Junpei that I suppose is probably a V dynamic. The ending of the movie is literally "And that's when our family began" as they walk off together holding hands. I'm starting to realize this is a small trope in these kinds of stories (married couple cheats, someone gets pregnant, they three stay together i.e. I Love You Two (French show) and A Bizarre Love Triangle).

• MMF