Ultra Fan Guide to Ayase Haruka
After watching Game Sanaeha, I thought about age difference between partners. If you leave the path of old fashioned conventions and cliches, some reasons for the attraction to the younger or older person is quite obvious. This article describes 5 positive reasons why some people fall for a man/woman of an unconventional age difference.
This article does not contain the critical aspects of these relationships and does not promote every relationship with high age difference is positiv. It rather deals with the question of why they fall for each other (and not, why they feel physical attracted). Please, this is not psychological or scientific work — just some thoughts of a drama fan who thought about it.
CAUTION: Minor spoilers for I Can Hear Your Voice, Game Sanaeha and Princess Agents ahead
Shower Someone with Love
In dramas, it is promoted that the first love is the most intense. Let me tell you — it is not, but it feels like it. Park Soo Ha shows his heart to Jang Hye Sung right from the start. He throws his love at her in every moment they meet. He protects, adores, honestly criticizes when he thinks Jang Hye Sung could do better. If someone nice and good-looking honestly loves you so much without being naive, it is really hard to resist.
When a young person never got cheated or disappointed, abandoned or lost, their feelings for that someone are just to love the person and express this in such an open and direct way which is hardly found in a higher aged generation.
Carefree Intensify Up Your Life
If a person grows older, they become less and less carefree and start to worry about everything instead — money, social status, friends, family, job, etc. While young people rather tend to just live in the moment. Young people usually don't care what someone thinks, that they are laughing too loud, or they didn't dress “properly” when compared to other people. An example of this is Me Ha Ri from A Gentleman's Dignity. When she sees Yoon she is just screaming “Oppa” and is running to him, she cheers for him at the baseball ground, she freely cries when she is angry or sad.
Happiness and sadness are generally spoken more intensely for younger people because they do not calculate everything through. So being with a young person also can intensify your emotional life so you feel energetic and vivid again.
Perfect Match
As people grow older, at least one of two things happens. They change themselves and/or all their friends and their family change. If you are the one who does not change, the distance between you and them is growing. Most people become calmer and less active in terms of having fun. Khun Vi from Game Sanaeha is an exception. Even when she is in her 40th she very sports active and likes rock climbing and going out for dancing. Furthermore, she is very open-minded and interested in new things. It is hard to find a man at the same age who would share all these hobbies and fresh thoughts. That is why her feelings towards Khun Vi slowly grow.
On the other side, her ex-husband Khut Wat is described as rather old-fashioned. He wants a soft woman he can treat like an old-fashioned gentleman. His girlfriend Khae is kind of weak but a smart girl he can protect and take care of. She is not interested in parties, going out or developing new things. They both are rather homebodies. A young man would rather not bring up as much patience for this emotionally unstable young girl that Khun Wat is willing to give.
Sometimes, a man or a woman is not in line with other people of their age so it is just logical that they find true love rather in a younger or older person. In the end, it is all about matching the persons who obviously want the same in terms of spending time and leading their life.
Tower Of Strength
Sometimes a person feels lost or has to face hardships they cannot handle by themselves. Especially young people, who usually do not have a lot of life experience, get hit by these situations as if they got hit by a truck. As Kururugi Yuni in Close Range Love. She is an introvert but smart girl and her poker face let a lot of people think she is a tough and maybe even an arrogant person. Nearly daily she gets teased by other students. Only her English teacher Sakurai Haruka can look through her facade and realize how soft this girl is. He starts to protect her and guide her and, step by step, they fall in love.
Sometimes a mature person can hold you when you feel like falling as no young person who hasn't gone through a similar situation could do.
Mentor Who Makes You Grow
A person with more life experience also has more time to build up skills and solve challenges. This could provide a kind of fascination to younger or just more inexperienced people. In Princess Agents the female lead is supposed to hate Yu Wen Yue but he is teaching her to write, fight and to think statistically. She may think she will just use him, but later on, she cannot deny that she feels attracted to him.
Strength and power are attractive anyway but if this person is kind to you and favours you so that you gain more skills and self-confidence — basically become a better version of yourself — it is hard not to let feelings grow as well.
Conclusion
In the end, it is all about being honest and meet a person with open eyes. The darkest side of relationships with large age differences is the danger that one of them takes advantage of the other party. However, if two people truly love each other for who they are, why should society condemn their relationship? And if you are more than 72,000 years old it doesn't matter if the man you love is 1 or 2 thousand years younger :p
