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Age gaps in dramas

Kdramalama

So, I’ve noticed quite a lot of age gap situations in K Dramas. In itself, I don’t have an issue with mature age gap (21+) but I find the whole student teacher thing difficult to swallow and I wondered is this normal in S Korea? Maybe the school system has older students? Here in Europe, this relationship wouldn’t fly so I’d like yo understand why it’s so normal in KDrama? 

The age gap in Goblin didn’t bother me as it didn’t get physical/sexual till much later in the program and she was destined for him from birth so I understood him watching her grow and waiting for her to mature but I’m struggling to ship the romance in this drama! Open to learning, pls share your thought!

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theematchabun

I don’t think student teacher relationship in a romantic sense in SK or anywhere is looked at in a positive light in real life. I’m not too sure about it in a fictional sense. 

Since this drama is fictional, the age gap is fine since she’s an adult. But personally, I’m not a fan of teacher & student romantic-relationship in fiction even if they’re adults. As a professor, there are things that can’t be done because of moral conflict & professional grounds but unless it’s a subject that’s addressed or discussed on the show, it depends how the story is written.  Is there a power imbalance? Is the man inappropriately taking advantage of her? Is she forced to do things against her will? Do both characters feel conflicted about their feelings & situation? I haven’t seen the drama myself, only seen snippets from trailers & whatnot so I can’t say much about it. 

With Goblin, I had an issue with it more so than My Roomate is a Gumiho because the main character is a 17/19 year old teenager & Goblin is physically an adult man. Eun Tak talks & acts like a child halfway into the show. Eun Tak was marked since birth so she’s forced into a contract she has no say in. She may be fine being his bride but she’s still a kid & Goblin who is an adult just seemed fine with that idea. That moral conflict wasn’t touched upon in Goblin at all other than he kept calling her a kid. Eun Tak even kissed him as a teen. But then again, I discontinued the show at the halfway point. With MRIAG, the MC is a college student. 

From what I know about the two dramas, I really don’t like idea of the main characters living/cohabiting with the male characters as it seems to be the trend in ancient deity-human relationships in dramas. It’s worse in Goblin because Eun Tak is a teen who is wholeheartedly dependent on Goblin since he’s an adult figure with wealth. 

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Marshmallow-Chocoholic

I think this is entirely dependent on the message of the drama and what they are trying to convey. Teacher-student relationships are greatly shunned both here in the west and especially in South-Korean society, however, they can be an interesting topic of debate as incidents of these relationships do happen in reality. Whilst admittedly it  is not my cup of tea personally , there are certainly  South-Korean works which use the student-teacher relationship to explore more prominent about poignant messages about society and sexualisation. Ironically Kim Go Eun ( the actress who played Eun Tak in Goblin) really rose to fame in Korea in the controversial and psychological  film Eungyo back in 2012 playing a 17 year old high school student involved in a love-triangle  with the unrequited love of a 70 year old poet towards her and his 30-year old pupil. Whilst there were some evident flaws and debates over the storyline, it did  raise some intriguing questions about over-sexualisation and sociocultural issues and taboos .  

The 2000s, however, seemed to be fairly golden age for romanticising this  storyline between the older teacher and the younger student with dramas such as  Biscuit Teacher and Star Candy (2005- ironically with Gong Yoo as the student ), My Little Bride (2004) and I Am Your Teacher (2007) as classic and popular examples .  (Although it is admittedly  really interesting to see just how much attitudes have changed in the space of a short period of time towards what is seen as acceptable regarding age differences and relationships)

I have to agree with @thegreenmatcha, however, that Eun Tak  and the glamorisation due to her  relationship as a teen with the Goblin was a little inappropriate. Whilst it is important to clarify that the actress Go Eun was not underage during filming ( she was 21), her character was evidently supposed to be  a teenager during the first-half. As @thegreenmatcha pointed out here what made it a little more awkward was the way Kim Eun Sook presented her in a childlike  manner for her age  in order to make her relationship with the Goblin  seem ‘ cutesy‘ .  Having seen the entirety of the series, I can say that this isn’t too bad when Eun Tak gets older during the second-half, however, romanticising this ideology is always a slippery slope (especially slightly with Eun Tak as a teen)  .

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Kdramalama

You both raise interesting points about Goblin. Perhaps she shouldn’t have moved in at such a young age and he could have been her protector from afar or something… thinking of it again and yes the romance was uncomfortable to watch at times in the first half… so I guess I am wondering what the wtiter is exploring here with MRIAG because the students are in first year and clearly immature, my other problem is the whole “we live without our mom” thing! Really odd scenarios and I am just wondering why and how this would be ok in any society! Perhaps they’re asking us yo suspend belief and just enjoy the tale as a fantasy which I guess it is seeing as the whole Gumiho thing is a fantasy anyway!

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theematchabun

@Marshmallow-Chocoholic

A lot of the earlier 2000’s kdramas did not age well. Even though I only recently returned watching kdramas again into my adulthood, I grew up watching them as a kid. The drama Romance (2002) starring Kim Ha Neul was also a show with a student-teacher love affair. As kids, our thought process & comprehension about the concept of a romantic relationship between two people have not develop yet so it was not weird to me at that time. Now as an adult, that drama is just plain terrible & a teacher should never have a relationship with a student kid. The over exaggeration or what they call it, a typical ‘makjang’. I believe in Summer Scent (2003), Song Ye Jin’s character’s fiancé was a teacher or slightly older man who she met as a teenager. Sweet 18 (2004) was also a about teenager marrying an adult man, a very terrible drama by the way. With Goblin, I didn’t like Eun Tak’s childlike mannerism. Compare her to Goblin, he is presented as an adult man & she reads younger than a 17/19 year old. Now, I do like that people have become more critical about media consumption in regards to these kinds of stories. That’s important & a good note. 

As you say, it depends on the intentions. But overall, student-teacher romance storylines, specifically if the story involves a kid & an adult person, should fall into the trash bin kept six feet under lol. With MRIAG, it seems tamed since both characters are adults but I haven’t watched it. I don’t know how the story is handled in that drama. I don’t have a problem with age gap (romance) stories in fiction if it’s between adult characters ( with adult actors) & how the story is presented/written.   

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Marshmallow-Chocoholic

@greenmatcha No, I do not deny that these dramas are fairly outdated and yes, I have come across the format of the ‘ makjang’ before. ( I remember watching several months back  a fairly recent one. It wasn’t on the topic of student-teacher relationships, however, the telenovela/soap-opera-style acting and quality  was pretty laughable.) Sweet 18 is the alternative title of My Little Bride. ( If I remember correctly from what I’ve read up it was quite popular at the time and there were several adaptations.) However, I must clarify that I am  not defending them. These dramas  probably wouldn’t pass  today  in South-Korea without scandals , petitions to stop airing or controversy  because  they are very much a product of their time.

I absolutely agree though about your point on overtly  sugarcoating a student-teacher relationship. At the end of the day ( regardless of whether they are an older teen), a pairing between an adult and a child is still romanticising grooming . As you mentioned about having no problem with age-gap relationships  between adults , I also have no problem with them either. They can be pretty intriguing in dramas. This is something which undeniably happens in real-life relationships  and they can present strong chemistry between leads by learning to overcome generational gaps or stigmas. ( I do have some evident problems with the storyline , but I cannot  deny one of my favourite examples of the age-gap done well has to be the main pairing in “ Romance Is A Bonus Book”- the chemistry was a  slow-burn, but felt gradual.)

A little off topic, but what  is fairly shocking is that in Japan,  student-teacher relationships premises are still fairly   popular in dramas  . Don’t get me wrong. There are some J-dramas  with have genuinely poignant messages  and “ Taisetsu na Koto wa Subete Kimi ga Oshiete Kureta” (2011) is not a flawless example, but still fairly thought-provoking.  However, there are certainly some borderline disturbing examples also such as “Chugakusei Nikki” ( 2018)- a relationship between a 14/ 15 year old student and a 25 year old teacher ( admittedly this does span over a period of years, however, the creepy underage age difference has always put me off) and “My, Teacher ” ( 2017), which accounts the romantic pairing between a teen high schooler and her  26 year-old teacher. 

In response to @Kdramalama about My Roommate Is A Gumiho, personally the relationship between the leads is fairly well-tackled alongside the cohabitation without feeling tiresomely cliche or dull . The ML respects the FL’s space, and( for the most part)  the FL repays the favour. Personally I don’t really have much of a problem between the FL and the ML in terms of the age difference. The FL is an adult. Yes, she is still  naive like a lot of 20 something year olds about the world, but she  can rationalise her decisions. I admit it would be a different picture  if she was a teen, however, the relationship is fairly enjoyable for the most part. 

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martar
 Kdramalama:

So, I’ve noticed quite a lot of age gap situations in K Dramas. In itself, I don’t have an issue with mature age gap (21+) but I find the whole student teacher thing difficult to swallow and I wondered is this normal in S Korea? Maybe the school system has older students? Here in Europe, this relationship wouldn’t fly so I’d like yo understand why it’s so normal in KDrama? 

The age gap in Goblin didn’t bother me as it didn’t get physical/sexual till much later in the program and she was destined for him from birth so I understood him watching her grow and waiting for her to mature but I’m struggling to ship the romance in this drama! Open to learning, pls share your thought!

It's not true that  such relationships don't exist in Europe. I know one couple who met in high school. He was a teacher and she was a student. They started to date after she graduated and married after she got a master degree. Of course many people around them considered this relationship as bizarre. If this story were a drama scenario, I would say it's inappropriet, but judging real people isn't that easy.

The most controversial age gap in drama that I saw  was in A Good Supper . It's about a young man who adopted an eight years old girl. After years they started to have a romantic relationship. I'm very tolerant but I just can't swallow it. ML literally rised FL like her own dad. 

On the other hand my favourite age gap was in I Hear Your Voice. ML was very young but he was quite mature (probably because of his ability of reading minds).

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theematchabun

@martar

Its seems prevalent in Japanese media aims towards teenage girls young adult specifically shojo/josei mangas. About the drama you’re referring to A Good Supper, a manga called Usagi Drop was the same way. It was controversial because the man was 30 years old and becomes the legal guardian of an 6 year old girl. At the end, they ended up together as a romantic pair when she became a college student but the girl liked her guardian-foster dad in her teens. It’s terrible. The manga received a lot of criticism from readers. 

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martar
 _thematchabun:

@martar

Its seems prevalent in Japanese media aims towards teenage girls young adult specifically shojo/josei mangas. About the drama you’re referring to A Good Supper, a manga called Usagi Drop was the same way. It was controversial because the man was 30 years old and becomes the legal guardian of an 6 year old girl. At the end, they ended up together as a romantic pair when she became a college student but the girl liked her guardian-foster dad in her teens. It’s terrible. The manga received a lot of criticism from readers. 

I'm not suprised it was criticized. Compered to those dramas MRIAG isn't controversial at all.

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theematchabun
 martar:

I'm not suprised it was criticized. Compered to those dramas MRIAG isn't controversial at all.

The manga was criticized so heavily by the general public in Japan & by overseas readers that even the live action film & anime show changed the story that’s actually about a familial relationship between a foster father & daughter. 

I haven’t seen MRIAG. I think it depends how the story is presented. Usagi drop was terrible because it’s written out to be this wholesome thing in the beginning then took a drastic turn into some trite. I didn’t read the manga but it was a pretty big discussion in the manga community 10 years ago.

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Kdramalama

@martar, if they get together after graduation who cares but whilst she’s  in first year???? I just cannot understand! Final year, about to graduate again, I can relate… nothing wtong with liking an older man or woman but in these positions of authority it’s an absolute no no! How the censor board cannot see this baffles  me…

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martar

In my opinion, the real problem is not the age difference, but the power imbalance. When one person is completely dependent on the other, it creates space for many types of abuse.

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Sky Girl

Another thing with this drama is that they didn’t meet in college. He’s not actually her professor.  They had known each other and lived together for a few months at that point when he just became one in the middle (for reasons, that I won’t spoil). I’m sure he’ll leave the job, because he actually a historic writer. 

The age gap is not an issue either, because both of them are adults and even when they lived together nothing sexual happened. And technically he’s not even human, so our rules don’t really apply to him? Because they have this conversation multiple times about how he’s not human and cannot think or feel so many things that humans do. He doesn’t even eat human food. Soooo. That’s that. 

But, even then the male lead is super respectful towards the female lead, and visa versa. They fell in love quite naturally too.

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styx971

Personally i understand not liking the power struggle aspect in alot of them , but as a 30yro woman engaged to a 54 yro man ( we met at work same low tier factory job  )  i don't have a issue with age gap for obvious reasons. I think as long as its handled well it can be interesting and good in a drama. 

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