Hello everyone,
I am not sure how many people here can answer this question, since this
might require a long experience, let´s say, 4 years of Japan,
discussion with real Japanese persons, reading books, watching Japanese
television etc. to receive a full image of Japanese culture and not only
the Japanese culture through drama, anime and manga.
So my opinion on Japan is at the moment on its fourth phase. The opinion in each phase is either positive, neutral or negative.
1. Positive. First I was super excited about everything of Japan. I
thought the Japanese people had higher moral than the rest of the world.
2. Negative. I begun to notice the weird and gross stuff eg. sexual
perversion. So, the Japanese had the lowest moral of all people.
3. Neutral. Okay, People everywhere are the same. The Japanese just
manage to create an illusion they have high moral. All people have the
same weird things, westerners do not hide it, Asians manage to hide it
quite well. Still, the same weird and bad things exit everywhere.
4. Negative. Japanese people are very formal (exceptions exist) and the
discussion is basically exchanging polite expressions forth and back.
The discussion has never any depth. It is forbidden to say anything
negative and people must think in advance how to behave, act and speak
in order not to hurt someone.
Culture note:
If a Japanese person is offended, he/she does not tell about it.
Sometimes the only way to know if one has done something bad is to
notice that a person suddenly avoids one. Basically, one cannot ever
know what one has done wrong, since the hurt person will never tell.
Japanese people do not tell when one makes an error and they do not also
tell how things should be done. Eg. "What should I say when that person
says something negative?" results most probably in no answer. This has
something to do with pride or something.
End of culture note
To learn the social code and correct behaviour I have read that after
children are 12-13 years old, people do not anymore forgive them for
errors in breaking the social code. So basically a twelve year long
education. Imagine being in Japan and it takes twelve years to learn the
social code. That is very difficult, if not impossible.
Lately I made up with a guy I had disagreements with. It showed up he
was so grown into the Japanese thinking, that every time I broke against
a single one the million rules, he was basically hurt. I met with him
in northern Europe, so nowhere close to Japan. And yet he had those
rules applied to me, I have know way of knowing every single rule of the
Japanese social code. So, I made up with him and decided to stay away
from him since I cannot anyway fulfill all the social expectations he
has on me.
Conclusion: The social life with all the rules and indirectness in Japan
might be impossible for me. It is better to watch Japan from the
outside through drama, anime, television and Japanese persons living
outside Japan. I probably cannot fulfill all the expectations people
have on me. I want to express my true feelings, I want to be negative
and not fake that I am positive. But no, that all is against the social
code. I think in the future I will show more interest to South Korea,
Taiwan, Hong Kong, China, Macau etc instead.
Those who managed to read all this, comment please.
Thank you in advance.
