HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO LIKE THE ML OF THIS DRAMA?

Okay, I need others to help me out here. Please read and give me feedback. I feel like I'm going crazy.

This is the 5th or so KDrama romance I am about to drop because of the ML. I am a guy from the west and I just keep having really bad issues with the negative, sexist, and awful things the male leads in these shows are allowed to get away with and still be considered attractive and desirable. Even on here in the comments there are people that have negative things to say about the FL, but so far nothing on the ML.

I just finished episode 6, and I am so livid, I paused it many times in frustration. How the hell am I supposed to root for her to be with the ML? How?

Yes, he is playful, and does some fun cute stuff when the show calls for it, and is generally an amicable successful guy. But, he claims he is in love with this woman, and that she is his rock, their history spans decades of friendship of which she was the one to get him interested in writing and books, and she is the closest person he has in all the world.

YET, he continuously fails the FL on VERY important matters. He does not support her in anyway outside of giving her a roof over her head (which I get is HUGE) and taking her on a shopping spree (which seems trite, sappy as hell and I was happy she didn't really seem to care about it all that much. Is this a teen show?) 

Instead, he is unable to help a college degree wielding, certificate verifiable, historically successful, educated and determined woman get a job. AN ENTRY LEVEL JOB on the marketing team (which has an open spot)at he company he is a founding member and chief editor. This isn't nepotism guys. She actually has the credentials for the job and more experience than is needed and it isn't manager level or higher. It is a basic beginners position. He is just her in.

Instead she applies for the completely no-education needed, office gofer contract position that makes her the "peon" and secretary of the entire office and even this JOB  he actually almost keeps her from getting. He goes as far as trying to take her resume from the hands of the company owner after others selected her for the position. He only relents at the pleads of the owner and reading her words to her open ended questions.

But then he tells her since she got hired, and he is not at all happy that she did, to not talk to him at work, pretend she doesn't know him, and not expect anything from him. Why? He didn't hire her or have anything to do with her getting the job AND she doesn't work directly under him or on his team. So why does it matter? Does he honestly think she will bring shame upon him and be a horrible employee?

Once there, as our FL shows her abilities, tries to prove her worth and goes beyond what is expected of her, our ML sits idly by as others take credit for her work. Us as viewers are fed the line "it is business and how the world works"....fine its not a lie, but it only works this way because people in power (like our ML) allow it too. YET, this happens NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE. TWICE at this point and I'm only in episode 6.

The second time is miles worse than the first. The show brings the first time up multiple times and the ML seems to show remorse over it; YET, when it comes up the second time he does VERY LITTLE more to try and help her or keep it from happening.

Now, our ML was the SECOND employee of this company.  He was just a college student the owner recruited being a fan of the ML's online web stories. The owner lured him to become  his publisher by founding the company and promising the ML the role editor in chief. Fate handed him the world at a very young age. The companies success hinges on the publishing deal the ML managed over 10 years prior that has its own story inside the show which I won't spoil here. The ML second closets friend is the ACTUAL out and out owner of this publishing house, which the ML is considered a founding member, and yet his opinion apparently matters none in the end. He is powerful in every OTHER aspect of the company except when it comes to the ability of helping or supporting anyone especially if it is the female lead.

He literally watches as people walk all over her, giving her side glances as it happens. Knowing what is transpiring is wrong, the ML is unable to look at her, or face her, in these moments. But still allows them to happen and neither apologizes for it or shows her any sympathy over it. When other employees below him complain over what is happening, and show their distaste in the company, he shows solidarity with company, supports the decisions being made by the CEO, and openly condones the theft of our FL's hard work while simultaneously putting the said employee in their place.

Yet he goes home to the FL afterward and acts like he is her best friend and confidant, at one point even saying it doesn't matter that he sides with his boss, and claims he is still a man in love with her.

HOW AND IN WHAT WORLD IS THIS OKAY? The end of the episode (6) has him (10 DAYS LATER) handing her the original copy of the book before her name was removed and where she was credited for the work she did and saying, "The world doesn't know, but I do, I know the success is because of you."

LIKE WHY THE FUCK DOES THAT MATTER ASSHOLE?

I don't care that you know. The reason she can't get a decent job, the reason she is destitute and broke, the reason she has to LIVE in your HOUSE, is because THE WORLD DOESN'T GIVE HER CREDIT NOR THINK SHE IS CAPABLE!!!!! That is why!!!

And you are helping that persist you dick. It doesn't matter you know, what matters is that the world does. She is trying to stand on her own two feet here. How is this an acceptable apology for him being so weak and unsupportive of her? How can he actually look her in the eyes after the fact and expect her to love him? HOW can people still think she should end up with this guy?

Why are people on here complaining about things the FL has done and not mentioning him? How are women still attracted to this man? Like I said, this is like the 5th in a row where the ML does very asshole toxic crap and everyone still acts like they are dreamy. WHAT THE HELL DOES A GUY HAVE TO DO TO PROVE HE ISN'T WORTHY OF THE FL LOVING HIM? If he is handsome and rich can he just do whatever?

Like I said, I'm upset. I was really trying to forgive the ML for the first transgression and before that wound has done little more than scab over, he has gone and stabbed me in the gut! I really like so much about the drama, its maturity is one of the bright-spots, and then it just pulls this shit. Can people tell me why? Sure the show has 10 more episodes (some shows entire season) still to go, and if people come back with he will be redeemed, I just kinda don't care. How much do I have to watch until he learns his lesson? Will he honestly be able to make up for this stuff? I mean everything in me wants to tell her to pack up her shit and get out even if it's to that moldy room she looked at back in episode two. It is better than being in the presence of this shit head who does all this while claiming she is the woman for him and love of his life......

EVERYONE, he doesn't know what love is if can do these things.

 And I'm starting to get mad at the FL for not holding him responsible. Why does she continue to be his friend if this is the type of friend he is to her?

And don't say its Korean hierarchy, because I think I've illustrated that our ML isn't just a normal employee of this company but in a role of great importance and power, nor is it a typical company, and also other coworkers with power, like Mrs. Seo openly argue and defend themselves and decisions against Mrs. Go.

Maybe I'll go and watch Thirty but Seventeen again. All the ML in that drama are good natured and I respect them.

you're not alone!! well I'm still only on ep 4 but I've felt every word and feeling you just described. I was beyond pissed when the FL's work was stolen and everyone's reaction and response to that event was completely underwhelming, including the FL's! I thought for sure the ML would do something but nope, apparently this is the reality of business... which I do get but this is dramaland... this is supposed to be unrealistic, happy ending guaranteed, fluffy romance, right? it doesn't seem like a properly written story to have both the harsh reality of irl along w/ the romance the audience wants, like you just can't do both because my suspense of disbelief keeps falling apart. either that, or it's something about Korean culture I don't understand. which is completely valid since I'm not Korean but I've seen other dramas where the ML does stand up for the FL when she's been disrespected but idk... I'm curious to see how this plays out but if what you're saying about the upcoming eps omg I'm gonna need to have some tylenol at the ready lol! I'm mainly watching for a supporting actor and because this drama is on so many people's recs. which is so disappointing because as you said I've read a lot of criticisms about the FL but very little about the ML which as a woman I know is a result of the internalized misogyny we've been conditioned by. anyway I'm hoping that there's some sort of payout as you said! it would be great to see the fallout of a big fight between the characters so they can go through some sort of reckoning and finally grow and change for the better!! Idgaf if reality is like that, aren't shows like these supposed to show us the alternative??

So, I finished this yesterday.

I will say, I never forgave the ML nor did I forgive the show for doing these things and never addressing them again. It made for some weirdness on my part in the end.

After the events of episode 6, our ML basically never does wrong again. The show spends a lot of time building him into a good man. His charm is cranked up to 11, his good will spills out everywhere to everyone, and noble intentions lead every decisions he makes. The actor portraying him, does an excellent job of switching from  boyishness to manliness as the script or scene needs and is likable while throwing tantrums or romancing our FL. Ultimately, it becomes very very hard not to like him, and even harder to not want him and the FL to find happiness with each other.

But, I held on to how the show started and carried it with me till the end, and yes held it against the ML which made everything very bittersweet for me, like I had swallowed a rock that refused to be anything else but a dead weight in my stomach.

From episodes 8-12 the show becomes very generic, classic romcom. The uniqueness of the characters and story are traded for the typical machinations of multiple couples, well coupling. It is warm and fine and all. I was little bored, and angry, during it, admittedly tainted. But I understand some commenters remarks on how the story stalls, or the middle drags, etc. It isn't bad, it's just banal, derivative, and been there done that countless times.

The end of episode 13 brings us back to the FL leads story and the uniqueness of the show. The plot generally stays with us to the end from this point onward. I do like that, in-the-end, our FL saves herself instead of leaning on the ML to be her shining knight. She does get some help from another female at a key moment, It was refreshing that it wasn't her boyfriend, and brought some female camaraderie.

With that said, I will state the ML is probably one of the most ineffectual characters on the show. The FL has yet another large test to character and her work, and where she stands in life, and this time our ML honestly tries to be in her corner. He attempts to fix the situation and find solutions. He openly argues and defies his superiors, and well does everything he should have done from the start. Also, he gets for a brief moment to walk in the FL shoes on trying to find work and support herself and just how horrible it was for her. So HE LEARNS and grows...yay!

I SHOULD forgive him for his transgressions then right? Except, I wonder, if he would have been like this had she not become his girl. What if she had rebuffed him and remained with another or just said it would never happen between them. Would he still fight for her since it was the right thing to do? Or would he have let her fall as he did in the past? Also, does any of this matter since, ultimately, nothing the ML does helps the FL in anyway or solves any problems? He is honestly just window dressing at the mercy of everyone around him when it comes to the FL. He talks a big game, and again, seems to have power, answers, and ways to solve every situation that involves others, just not her. But he tries.

I dunno, the relationship between the FL and CEO Go, is a whole different can of worms to unpack. Maybe someone should open a thread to discuss if we think this a healthy and a good display of sisterhood. It is at the least, very complex. And, of course I have feelings and opinions on it.

Now last thing, isn't this a Korean remake of the US's  "Younger." MDL doesn't give it credit as a Korean Remake, and no one on the comments seems to talk about it. BUT, I swear this is that show.

It has a different overall feel, and seriously changes the love triangle, but otherwise it seems like the same show covering the same social topics, story-lines, and ideas. They both even take place in the Publishing world.  The lesbian childhood best friend the FL lives with and CEO of the Book Publishing house she works at love interest are morphed together into a single younger best friend love interest that is our ML of this version, that again she lives with. Her daughter is turned into a middle school student instead of a college student, but here plays no other role. The 2nd ML becomes the book cover artist instead of a Brooklyn tattoo artist. And CEO Go, is a sexier copy of Younger's "frenemy" female boss.

Ehh, there is more...but the longer I watched the show, the more I felt I'd seen it before.

 Foxiest Steve:

ML doesn't go to bat for someone he shouldn't know publicly because it would raise suspicion, undermine Dani's ability to fend for herself (which we all want to see), and undermine his credibility in the company - jeopardizing the source of monetary support he can offer her. If it came out that they were decades old friends, as her superior in close proximity, there would be concerns of playing favorites, quid pro quo, etc.

Hello Foxiest Steve and welcome to the conversation!

Your response was extremely well reasoned, tightly executed, and brought up a nice defense, (Bravo! Especially compared to my ramblings and ravings!)

However, I believe the response is too, "antiseptic" for the situation and ignores many of the nuances and specific points that are in the drama of which I tried to raise, but perhaps failed to do so effectively.

1) Quid Pro Quo, playing favorites, and ML self jeopardy.
 
Lost, somewhere, in my writing I tried to illustrate why these didn't fully apply to the situation.

The ML had no part in hiring Dani. He did not offer her a job, better position, or better pay while employed, nor did he ever directly request anything from her. He was not her direct manager (that was CEO Go), and Dani did not work on his team.

So his job was entirely safe as he had no part to play in Dani's role within the company whether a previous relationship existed between them or not. If there was to be a problem it would also highlight other relationships the show presents inside the company as problematic when they are not treated as such.  

There is no quid pro quo in play as Dani is not being offered a better position, better pay, or special treatment. Dani was also not asked to perform any specific duty outside of her current job, she takes her own initiative and does extra tasks herself asking her direct manager, again CEO Go, and not our ML for permission. This is simply her being given credit for the work she as already performed of which the company is using successfully.

Favoritism, perhaps, but only if our ML has no issues with this being done to employees regularly or at large in the company. That is, management can steal any employees creation and hard work just not Dani's. If this IS the case, then this supports my initial stance of our ML being morally bankrupt and not someone for which we should root. Thus, my initial question of the discussion still stands.

 Foxiest Steve:

Also, he's not Chief Executive, he's Chief Editor. We get shown, right away, that Ms. Go and Mr Kim are over Eun-Ho. So when Ms. Go steals Dani's thunder with the book blurb, what's he to do, given that he shouldn't know her side of things? AND what we learn later, that Go had the idea as well, how would that too-early outburst go?

I do apologize for my gaff when it comes to his title. I believe I haphazardly switch between executive and editor, I know the review I posted of the show has him labeled correctly, I was upset while writing the initial post.

2) ML Power and Place within the Publishing Company versus those around him.

I edited some of this out the first go round, but I tried to illustrate the unique dynamics at play in the initial post.

Our ML was not just a simple hire that applied for said position within the company. His Chief Editor role was granted to him at founding and was a position used to snatch our ML's own writing and publishing rights. In short, the entire company was founded, just to publish our ML writing, because the CEO had money, a dream, and LOVED the written web published works.

In the beginning it was just the two of them, with the three additional employees added after, all of which became the founding five members of the publishing house. Normal hierarchy is not in play, and, as I tried to illustrated, using Mrs. Seo as my original example, any of the five can and do openly argue, defend themselves, and go for what they want. There is a democracy at play even though specific titles are given to the players.

Our ML is also the most successful writer at the publishing house as is mentioned many times throughout the run time. His works make the most money for the company. This adds to his power within the walls of the firm. As he later threatens jokingly, near the end of the series, when talking to Dani that he will pull his contract and watch the company lose all the money from his works. Something that the would devastate the owner who is famously money hungry. Also, our ML holds the publishing rights to, in the show, one of South Korea's great writers, with a whole subplot dedicated just to this story.

I also, in my follow up to the initial post once episode 7 was completed, gave examples of how our ML uses his sway and power to help others in the company, co-workers, and even the writers they deal with, even if it is against the CEO's wishes. That is, he shows that he is able to work outside the ranks and help and defend those that need it even if his "superiors" are against it. 

He just does not do this for Dani.

Additionally, in the penultimate and final episode of the series you DO see our ML openly fight for Dani, and against Mrs. Go, and the CEO. Thus, showing he could have done this all along, BUT CHOSE to stay quiet.

Lastly, he is also close friends and confidant to the owner. While this is using personal ties and not professional, if the situation honestly went to an extreme with CEO Go, he could use this card even if it isn't tasteful, though probably not effectively by the series end with what happens between CEO Go and the Owner.

 Foxiest Steve:

As for ripping her off of the marketing credit, yeah that was a crap sandwich. Why aren't you pissed at Hae-Rin, who gaslit her to her face? Eun-ho was at a distance throughout the process. Hae-Rin was in the trenches, side by side, and Ms. Seo (another exec) gave Dani the work.

I didn't speak of the other employees because the post was about how we are supposed to like the ML with what he does to the FL. Other characters are other characters. However, this is a romance and we are supposed to root or want the FL and ML to fall for each other.  

But, since you brought it up, and since it actually does shine more light on the bias written into the ML, Hae-Rin and Ms. Seo are actually great examples of the shortfall that is our ML and the cop-out of the writing regarding him.

3) How Dani holds people responsible, and the support she garners from those outside of the ML.

Hae-Rin is a perfect example of someone without power in the company. While she is above Dani and the new hires, she is very much a low woman on the totem pole. She does not have the sway or pull within the company, nor the power to be vocal against her superiors or fight for what she values as right. Her gaslighting was a perfect example of a trapped rat, and EXACTLY, what we do not want or expect from our ML or anyone with actual real ties to Dani. Hae-Rin is just a co-worker without power who just met Dani versus the CEO of the company she is employed, she selfishly chooses herself and backs the CEO.

This is not the same place the ML stands though it seems to be the argument people have for him.

Our ML is MUCH more powerful, has MUCH more sway, and is shown on multiple occasions to be able to change situations outcomes within the company. He has an over 10 year seniority and is in a top position. Also Dani isn't a stranger to him. Thus, saying he has the right to act the same as Hae-Rin is very much excusing his behavior.

However, Dani DOES hold Hae-Rin responsible. In one of the best, if not the BEST, moments of Dani in the series, she slyly, respectfully, and professionally calls out Hae-Rin's behavior directly to her afterwards. Hae-Rin feels the words like a slap to the face and immediately seems to show she feels shameful for she did, taking a beat to recompose herself after Dani's exit.

This is exactly what I wanted for our ML. I wanted Dani to call him out, possibly even have an out and out fight with him, but at the least make him aware of how distasteful, spineless and untrustworthy his actions were. But she lets him off the hook completely, not forcing him to take any responsibility at all.

When it happens the second time, and is by far a MUCH larger and grosser display, Hae-Rin does try to fight for Dani, but is quickly silenced, again her low woman status. However, this time she openly calls out the company to our ML and vents her disgust and frustration, even as she is forced to do something she does not at all agree.

Our ML actually scolds Hae-Rin, sides with the CEO and company,  and sits at his desk watching as Hae-Rin follows through with the command. He can not look Dani in the eye, giving her side glances as the actions are taken and Hae-Rin is on the phone, and then as Hae-Rin stands and informs Dani, he looks away and at his desk and never says a word...NEVER ONCE.

The only negative thrown at him, the scolding he gets, the only responsibility given to him in this situation is Hae-Rin calls him Cold Hearted. That is all the show gives us. When the next episode airs its weeks later, and Dani is shown to be on good terms with everyone and never holds this against a single soul, let alone our ML.

Ms. Seo had no hand to play or knowledge of the first betrayal to Dani and as such there is nothing to say. 

However, the second round does involve her; yet, she is in Dani's side the whole time. She fights for Dani to help the marketing team against CEO GO. She gives Dani the reigns, she is delighted by the outcome, and she gives Dani her accolades. When the finished book is presented with Dani's name on the inner cover, she does not have any issues or problems with Dani getting credit and is excited for the entire event. She is also not pulled into the office for the meeting where CEO GO requires Dani's name b e removed, likely on purpose, and she was not in the office as Hae-Rin makes the phone call to the printers to have her name placed on the book in place of Dani's. In short, she is used without knowledge, to betray Dani.

Thus, I do not place blame on her. When she discovered her name on the book, which we do not see, it is after-the-fact and  already done. There was nothing for her to do at this point.

But after this, Ms. Seo is ALWAYS  on Dani's side, and treats her with respect. In the end, she is the one even fighting to make Dani a permanent employee on her Marketing Team. She sees the talent, recognizes it, fosters it, tries to better Dani's life from it, and give her more.

Ms. Seo is an example of a great executive and champion of her employees. Something I wish I could say about our ML.

In the end our ML simply only bats for our FL (Dani) in the final inning after she has become his girlfriend. Everything done at the beginning is forgotten, and Dani never as so much has a thing to say to him about any of it.

And to CEO Go having the same idea as Dani, wording to a T, is not only unrealastic, but honestly moot. The copy that is passed around the meeting is Dani's, not hers. She had it scribbled on a notepad somewher in her office. Dani had a typed-up, printed, ready to be presented copy to deliver, and that is what is used to launch the idea. If she wanted it to be hers, then she should have been as well prepared and handed Dani's back or thrown it on the floor as she did all the others.

I stopped watching this for a different reason, but here is my one cent. As I understand it the story is about a woman who digs herself out of a hole (which is difficult to do lol) and grabs life by the horns.

She isn't a child, nor is she less capable than a man. So why should we have a ML who rides up on a white horse and rescues her and makes all her ways straight? My version of feminism is believing women are as capable and as culpable as men. She gave up her job and financial freedom for a man she was unsure of marrying in the first place. I'm a housewife because I have protected myself legally and marrying a man who I know is dependable.   

Do you want him to treat her differently because she is female? That's condescending. Or is it because he is in love with her? That's unfair to all the other employees he isn't in love with.  She had to face the consequences of her own decisions and face the same trials that a male colleague would face. If she can't stand up for herself at least as much as a man that implies she is less capable than a man. Nope. If the MC's sexes were reversed, would you feel the same way? Should his girlfriends always stand up for him, or would that make you respect him less. 

I hope my comment doesn't come off as rude because I really don't  mean it that way.

 Noenkas:

I hope my comment doesn't come off as rude because I really don't  mean it that way.

Definitely doesn't come off rude. Moreover, I completely agree with your post (if it wasn't clear from my earlier exchange)

As an aside for passersby, my wife (who dreams of being a housewife) liked this drama way more than I did.