Don't lower the drama over personal bias.

Stop lowering the drama ratings; because of personal bias. How can you realistically rate a drama lower just because you do not like Harem Drama or slow burn romance? Did no one learn if you do not like something you leave it alone and keep it pushing.  

Before I even attempt watching any drama I read the summary (synopsis), watch the trailer. If I find it interesting I proceed to watching the drama. I am weird so I hate wasting time on dramas, movies or books. If a drama is finished I watch the last 2 or 3 episodes and some in the middle because as I said I hate wasting hours on a show that will not satisfy me. If it is airing I watch the episodes that are out and make a judgment on if to drop or continue. They are always personal reasons.

Let's talk about this drama.

When I saw the trailer I liked what I saw, the acting seemed okay, the costumes were nice, set etc. After watching the first 6 episodes I was hooked as I found the story line interesting and was anxiously waiting for the next week's episodes. Obviously it is not the most original story line (plot) but it is fascinating to see how each character navigates the different situations and the steps they take to further their agenda(s).

People complain when a drama isn't  historically accurate, but when this drama portrays the accuracy of men and women living in this time they complain. I think when watching this drama one should think about YES it was sad, humiliating, horrific etc to be a woman during these times but we have moved on. It should give us as women a greater sense of appreciation for the life that we are living and the freedom we have.  Although we know women are still treated this way in some countries and cultures. 

1. Freedom to choose a spouse and to be the one and only wife. 

2. Freedom to be educated and to educate.

3. Freedom of speech on many issues, forums and situations.

4. Freedom of movement.

5. Better health care during childbirth in many places. (We are still working on this around the world)

The man has a Harem that contains his 2 wives and 4 concubines (1 of the concubines died). When we continue to watch the drama we see how he interacts with them and even what he thinks about them.  Although he seems as if he doesn't know what is going on he is well informed on most situations. At one point he even shows his frustration at having so many women at  Luo Yuan Niang  funeral. He does not treat any of them badly; it is the women just like themselves that we should be outraged at. Their mothers, sisters, mother-in-laws etc. We would think that because they are women and they had to navigate through the same life as a daughter and daughter-in-law they would be more empathic. This is not the case, they kill women, servants, children etc. without an ounce of remorse as they are a product of their environment, upbringing and society.  

We are not outraged about the slavery and indentureship of the historical dramas either. As almost all of them have servants that can be beaten to death and sold off at the masters will and whims for the most ridiculous reasons. Slavery has been abolished and this type of servitude would not be accepted today. So why no complaints?

"The romance is slow burn."

"Female lead is frigid. " 

"Why doesn't FL sleep with her husband already?" "She is just teasing and rejecting her husband."

"Female lead is getting on my nerves when will they do the deed?"

Those are just some of the comments I saw as it relates to the leads consummating their marriage.  Women, even women of that era knew that it was their duty to sleep with their husbands and produce children, but come on what do they take this little girl for. She does not know this man, only the few encounters she had with him which were not pleasant. Someone killed her beloved MOTHER, the only person that LOVED HER, did not use her as a bargaining chip and looked after her well. Why would she be more focused on having sex  and getting pregnant than finding out who took this person from her? Remember, also she had planned never to get married and to escape as soon as she found the murderer. Although the husband even earns her respect and regard, she does not trust him because for her there has never been a man she could depend on. 

She makes a connection with the second male lead, because she thinks he saved her life, was going to help her escape from her family and even helped her get the rice for the refugees. These are all real issues and to her offered her greater protection than her husband for instance giving her the money. We as viewers see that the ML  looks out for her and all the little obstacles that were in her path at home he clears up, but isn't that a husband duty?  We also see that because of these things she will eventually come to love him as the trailers suggested. Love takes time people and to connect on a level that requires consummation of the marriage for many. Do we not complain about how dramas are not realistic enough? If we are talking about realism, how many women are willing to just have sex with a man that they do not know and at the moment in time don't even like?

Also, one thing I think people need to keep in mind is that this is a DRAMA OR SHOW  and is purely  fictional; it is for entertainment purposes. If you are not entertained just log off and then watch something else. Do not downgrade the actors' hard work over a fictional story. 

Finally, comparison is the thief of joy. This story is nothing like Minglan while it might give you the same type of feeling at first watch; the situations and circumstances that these characters grew up in is different. Shiyi only had her mother and a maid all her life before her marriage while Minglan had her grandmother who was loving and  also had power who in turn empowered her. I loved Minglan and watched over certain episodes and especially the last couple episodes; but after the first 2 episodes of this show I was not thinking of Minglan.  Enjoy the story for the story. 

Plus if you want to talk about plotting, disrespect of women, cheating, toxic family, patriarchy, toxic masculinity etc. watch the majority of the thai dramas. Why do these kinds of dramas keep getting made? People love them and continue watching them. Particular genres of dramas would never be made if there were no audience for them. 

So they drama should not be rated low because of harem or slow burn romance. Plus I know some of these people that beg for romance would complain also if their leads were always kissing and in bed and then say it too cringy.. 

I have so much more thoughts but will stop here. We can have discussions in the thread. 

 Jessica:

Female lead is frigid. "

That really rubbed me the wrong way - like as if there hasn't been enough stigmatization of women over the centuries associated with that word. 

You did a good job of explaining the FL's rationale for why she is taking her time and I've got to say I that fully agree with many of the points you stated. Futhermore, one of the reasons that the ML likes her so much is because she is not always out to seek favor with him. She doesn't chase after him like the other women do. He doesn't give those women the time of day, so much so that, am pretty sure Concubine Qiao got banished to the farm and that relationship was never consummated.

Bias is hard to avoid, and many people have difficulties separating personal opinion and fact. A series that is not well made, bad camera work, bad acting all are relatively easy to recognize, but what if you just can't stand one of the actors, what if somebody feels triggered? Should you give a high rating to a well-made drama you just didn't enjoy?

Ratings don't really work, I only believe ratings from people I "know" and trust, reviews are a much better indicator of what to expect.

@jessica absolutely great comment, thanks for taking your time writing it all down

 Ieji:

Guess we only need to seek and gather the people with the same vibes with us into this site to rate the drama "fairly."

Yep, that's about it. I very much agree with what @Jessica said, but it's impossible to change everybody, so people-gathering is the best we can do.

Like, you give a 10 score from episode 1, I never give a 10, which is obviously just as bad. But if I find out that I agree with your 10, although I would have given it a 8.5, it still counts. For me the numbers are just an indicator in relation to the user's other scores.

Next task: find other people with excellent taste like me ;-)

I confess my ratings are not consistent. Something I might have watch a year ago, felt like a 10 but then I think about it later, or watch something better and I feel like my 10 was too generous. Sometimes I go back and rerate a show or movie.

Thank you everyone for your different inputs on this discussion thread. I enjoyed reading what everyone had to say. I never rate dramas, but I understand how subjective ratings can be and was given a little more insight on how many rate by your comments.

 I initially had this discussion because of some comments in the comment section with people saying they will rate because of some reasons listed above. So I am glad we are able to have this discussion. 

Guys do you want to know something funny I don't like Daddi Tang. After Put Your Head on my Shoulder, I disliked his character and him 😂🙈🙊. But I still watched My Little Happiness and this with him 😆 😆. I really liked My Little Happiness and will watch again.