Revenge is not necessarily "an eye for an eye". Ziyuan/Anle is a smart woman. Her priorities in terms of vengeance was always to clear her family's name and the names of the soldiers that died. If she were to work on killing the emperor right away, not only would she be leaving loose ends like the Marquis, who was literally just captured in the latest episode, Ziyuan/Anle would only be cementing her family's place in history as traitors and rebels.
The actions Ziyuan/Anle takes all serves a purpose of furthering her vengeance. She focuses on one pillar at a time, if she were to try to speed it up and work on bringing down all who had a role in the massacre, then there will bound to be loose ends which would end up with her joining her family in death, truly ending the Di family's line once and for all.
Additionally, the drama cannot only focus on Ziyuan/Anle's revenge plot, as it's a romance drama above all else.
To the point that Ziyuan/Anle is too soft towards ChengEn, I haven't finished reading the novel (I just started), so I don't know how the novel Ziyuan/Anle is like, but the drama Ziyuan/Anle is not narrowminded and only caring for her revenge. Clearly, she cares for the innocent too and to Ziyuan/Anle, ChengEn was just a poor girl who was roped into her plots and suffered 10 years of imprisonment in her stead. It's natural to feel almost in-debt to her. Moreover, paying closer attention to the things said in the show, ChengEn, who is also "Ziyuan", becoming a part of the royal family as a Di family descendant also allows for less restriction into why her family was exterminated that year.