blabla100:I think koala explained this quite well and I do agree with her on this matter.
Thanks! I need to read all Koala's comments because they're a very valuable source of information.
Dramadoggy2021:but he is choosing for her
I have such a huge problem with that attitude of XL! He made the choice for XY. He kind of robbed XY of her free will to love him and burn down in flames if she wanted to.
I got it that XL wanted to protect XY (even from herself) and that he tried his best for her not being indebted to him or not feeling abandonned by him (even to the point of forcing her to forget him).
But, at what level of denial was he?
I mean he couldn't anyway erase the precious memories they had together (even by "cognitive dissonance-ing" her perception of these memories afterwards with the so-called transactions business). XL ought to have known that XY would miss him forever anyway and that she was doomed to never forget him and always yearn for him: after his death, XY would still go or even live in the sea, she would still makes poisons, she would still use her archery skills... Damn it, she told him once, proudly, that they were "soulmates/zhī jǐ "... How can one get over a soulmate?
Yet, when TSJ does speaks on XY behalf, XL immediately calls him out. In the drama (episode 29), when he asks Jing "Repaying me on her behalf? Have you asked her opinion?". Also , when TSJ said "I'll take Xiaoliu away when things settle down" (episode 9), XL answers "That depends on whether he is willing to go with you". Or again, in the novel (chapter 35):
"Jing smiled “Thank you for comforting her. I’ll definitely offer something of value but the question is whether you’ll want it?”
Xiang Liu said in half serious half joking tone “Of course I want it, but ——— not from you!”
If XL had really given XY a choice, if they had been able to talk truthfully about their feelings, putting all their cards on the table, maybe what each would have decided and how they would have formulate their choice would have been harder to hear but at least it would have been transparent. Not confusing the hell out of the one that outlived the dead, for the rest of her life.
Maybe there's something I don't fully understand or maybe I'm too sensitive about it but, if it was me, I wouldn't want my love interest to decide for myself what I can endure or not. And I definitely would need to know I'm loved, all the more since I felt discarded and unloved much of my life.
blimarch:I have such a huge problem with that attitude of XL! He made the choice for XY. He kind of robbed XY of her free will to love him and burn down in flames if she wanted to.
This!! 100% this!!
In my mind, she never had all the necessary factual elements to be able to make an informed decision about who she should choose in the end. He just made that choice for her. So when the Jingers get all giddy about her choosing Jing because he's the best of the best of all the bestest dudes, that's not entirely true. She didn't have access to *all* available options because he robbed her of that right to choose.
I HATE THIS MAN.
lol no, I don't.
AH :Good point. She had several opportunities to call off the engagement herself. Why wait for XL by the ocean at all? She doesn’t need him to end the engagement.
Someone else posted the words already, but XY tells Feng Long herself: she wants to settle down, but the one with feelings does not have the ability (TSJ) and the one with the ability does not have feelings (XL). If XL won’t choose her, she’ll keep her promise to Feng Long and settle for a life with him, even though she doesn’t love him.
Not only that, but IIRC she took the decision to go ahead with the wedding AFTER she waited în vain for 7 days near the ocean, it's obvious she was waiting for an answer and her final decision was based exactly on that. Up till then I belive she was more like still considering if she îs going to really agree or not to Feng Long proposal, wasn't really a full blown decision yet.
nathsketch:This!! 100% this!!
In my mind, she never had all the necessary factual elements to be able to make an informed decision about who she should choose in the end. He just made that choice for her. So when the Jingers get all giddy about her choosing Jing because he's the best of the best of all the bestest dudes, that's not entirely true. She didn't have access to *all* available options because he robbed her of that right to choose.
I HATE THIS MAN.
lol no, I don't.
For XY to choose XL, he would have to be an option that could be chosen in the first place. For most of the story, he had already decided not to let himself be an option that she could choose.
Giving her more information (or hiding less) would be more transparent and maybe more respectful, but it would also be crueler if he still wouldn’t allow her to choose him in the end.
@AH
"For XY to choose XL, he would have to be an option that could be chosen in the first place. For most of the story, he had already decided not to let himself be an option that she could choose.
Giving her more information (or hiding less) would be more transparent and maybe more respectful, but it would also be crueler if he still wouldn’t allow her to choose him in the end."
Exactly!
AH :For XY to choose XL, he would have to be an option that could be chosen in the first place. For most of the story, he had already decided not to let himself be an option that she could choose.
Precisely, and that's what I really dislike about him. Making those choices for her in the first place robs her of her autonomy. It's just like Dramadoggy said: "He kind of robbed XY of her free will to love him and burn down in flames if she wanted to."
AH :but it would also be crueler if he still wouldn’t allow her to choose him in the end.
Again, him "not allowing things". What a wuss 😤
nathsketch:Precisely, and that's what I really dislike about him. Making those choices for her in the first place robs her of her autonomy. It's just like Dramadoggy said: "He kind of robbed XY of her free will to love him and burn down in flames if she wanted to."
Again, him "not allowing things". What a wuss ?
But half the choice is his. She can’t choose him if he’s not willing to choose her too.
@natsketch
"Precisely, and that's what I really dislike about him. Making those choices for her in the first place robs her of her autonomy. It's just like Dramadoggy said: "He kind of robbed XY of her free will to love him and burn down in flames if she wanted to."
I honestly belive that's the author way to not end this story into a tragedy. I think she did want a happy ending for this novel and If she revealed XL's feelings and devotion to XY, I honestly think the outcome for her characters would have been different and the only thing that she couldn't have possible change without altering their personalities was XL death, because XL wasn't devoted only to his adopted father, but also to all the soldiers who already died în war.
blabla100:@natsketch
"Precisely, and that's what I really dislike about him. Making those choices for her in the first place robs her of her autonomy. It's just like Dramadoggy said: "He kind of robbed XY of her free will to love him and burn down in flames if she wanted to."
I honestly belive that's the author way to not end this story into a tragedy. If she revealed XL's feelings and devotion to XY, I honestly think the outcome for her characters would have been different and the only thing that she couldn't have possible change without altering their personalities was XL death.
Important context for LYF is that it is the continuation of and answer to Once Promised.
Ah Heng and Qi Yo had misunderstandings, but they resolved them. In the end, they both knew they loved each other and had not forsaken each other, but they still couldn’t set aside their loyalties. Ah Heng had to protect the people of Xuan Yuan. Qi Yo had to keep his promise to prince whatever-his-name-was and protect Sheng Nong. So their end was violent, painful, and tragic. But they held on to life in order to see their daughter again, and the good man that she would marry and find happiness with.
XY can’t have the same fate as her parents. She can’t be with the man who is so much like her father. She has to get a peaceful happy ending and avoid her parents’ tragic fate.
@AH
Thanks for the infos, i have read a bit about their parents story, but I didn't dive to deep into that. My belief îs that it was XL who didn't allow her to have the same faith as her parents, it wasn't really her free will that stopped this from happening and I think the author, by not letting her know XL's feelings did cover up this quite well. I think that was her reasoning for not allowing XY to find out the truth, I see no other reason than that.
AH :XY can’t have the same fate as her parents. She can’t be with the man who is so much like her father. She has to get a peaceful happy ending and avoid her parents’ tragic fate.
Oh no, so I'm really locked in this never-ending pit of hopelessness and despair.
I think I need to go find some other story to be obsessed about then 😅
AH :For XY to choose XL, he would have to be an option that could be chosen in the first place. For most of the story, he had already decided not to let himself be an option that she could choose.
Giving her more information (or hiding less) would be more transparent and maybe more respectful, but it would also be crueler if he still wouldn’t allow her to choose him in the end.
Maybe not. XL doesn't seem to be sincerely fixed on his choice. Otherwise, why:
- would he often tests XY love for him?
- would he be on extreme flirt mode with XY as FFB? He could just have been a mild non-provocking FFB, it wouldn't change anything to his cover but it would have made it easier for XY not to fall in love with him. And since this gentle alter-ego version of XL is one very attractive solution to her fears against god of war XL... and considering how conveniently FFB appeared after XL took some notes during the beach scene...
- "Who do you want/wish me to be" > would XL have assumed to hear XY answer had she said "XL"? What would he have won? What next ?
- "Why don't you stop being a princess and wander the world with me?" > if she'd known he loved her, and if she did stop being a princess, would he have let himself be loved? (and having all the elements, resourceful and decided as she is, XY would have find an alternative way to protect CX - because it's the only thing that she cares about, not the politics)
- on the beach, why was XL heartbroken in the first place despite supposedly having set his mind up as soon as he knew that XY was Princess of Haoling? Doesn't makes sense unless he hoped for a chance together with XY
- same with XL asking for sucking XY's blood from her neck. The heck with this inappropriate request from him at this point? Why couldn't he accepts the fact that a woman wouldn't want to be physically intimate and risk her reputation with a man that hasn't confessed to her?
I think the little psychological games he plays on a regular basis with XY's heart and mind are actually crueler than to give her the conscient choice to love him.
I don’t think he purposely play psychological games …he made choice to choose for her and he silent protector (damn it dumb XL)..yet there are times he is weak too …he wants to give in …he wants to kiss her …yet darn it he control himself…he can’t always control his feelings though ….
I guess in life we are all confused weak at some point
Btw..what do u mean? They did film a happy ending for XY and XL for a show?
I don’t understand the parents back ending story..so the mom was supposed to die in battle but she ended up hiding with QiYo? I think since her biological father is QiYo and QiYo suppose Chengrong..then shouldn’t XL and Xy be on same sides?? xY would need convince CX to be at peace with chenrong and XL need convince chenrong what their purpose is in life is for…even QiYo is in hiding right? The mom didn’t kill her lover right?
AH :Hmmm. A scene that takes place after chapter 28 at the edge of the ocean where XL's hair is white/silver and down and he does not appear to be badly injured...
Yeah that doesn't obviously match any scenes from the novel.
And it's definitely not from the drama's altered version of XL breaking the poisonous bug connection because that scene is shown in the trailer and XL's hair is tied up as usual.
You're right that the image doesn't match chapter 43 (where "Xiang Liu’s clothes were torn and messy, and his face and neck were covered in injuries."), but the image still makes me think of the description of his hair in that chapter ^^
Don't give me hope 😫 I've written off chapter 43 as never happening due to censorship issues, cgi issues, and the leaked script. But I do wonder how they're going to change the story so she'll encounter Left Ear again.
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