Just finished ch 40 in the novel and was amazed with how things fell into place politically. But my heart ached for CX, he achieved his goals and is slowly on his way uniting all the lands to one but will never have his deepest desire to be with XY. So heartbreaking. “Lost you forever” is truly about CX
Zhuan Xu stared at Xiao Yao’s hand and felt the absurdity of the world on him. If years ago he didn’t help Tu Shan Jing get close to Xiao Yao, if back then he made his feelings for Xiao Yao clear like Tu Shan Jing, if he never let her hand go……..would the “my dad’s daughter” that Xiao Yao was asking about today be referring to herself and not Ah Nian? Would he then happily yell “Yes!” and not once again forced to agree to marry another woman in front of Xiao Yao?
…
Zhuan Xu’s face revealed his desolation “Master, what does it feel like to marry the woman you love.”
The Grand Emperor smiled sadly “I don’t know.”
“Didn’t Master marry Auntie?”
“When I married her I didn’t love her yet, by the time I fell in love with her, she already saw herself as Qi Yo’s wife.”
Zhuan Xu sighed “So even Master doesn’t know!”
The Grand Emperor joined him and sighed “That’s right.”
Zhuan Xu sadly continued “Sometimes I feel like my life is so absurd. I moved an entire garden of flowers into my backyard but the only flower I want isn’t there. Just that one I want isn’t there! When in actually I don’t even want an entire backyard full of flowers, I just want that one flower!”