The usual disclaimer. I am writing this based on my experience as a late-diagnosed autistic woman and the parent of an autistic daughter. I do not claim to speak for all autistic people. But I do use “we” to reflect some widely shared experiences in the autistic community.
https://twitter.com/hallyulyrebird/status/1560848704504201222
What is the double empathy problem? It is a theory that argues that communication misunderstandings between autistic and NT people are a two-way issue, stemming from both parties’ difficulties in comprehending each other.
It underscores that there is a mutual responsibility for creating and maintaining understanding, a reciprocity at work. Yet, few NT people, unless in close relationships with autistic people, tend to make it a priority to learn about autistic perspectives, culture, & experiences.
However, autistic people are expected to know, understand and navigate NT culture, communication, and ways of being. It’s an expectation. It’s espoused by parents, therapists, teachers, written into treatment plans. It’s a given and unquestioned. Even if the toll on us is heavy.
And even though both parties are affected by the empathy divide, the impacts are greater with autistic people. And the implications of recognising this and incorporating the theory into policy could radically change autistic lives.
The series does a good job as well using concrete examples of the double empathy problem in specific scenes to act as metaphors for autistic experiences. Like the rules we create for ourselves to navigate a NT world, including workplaces.
Read the entire thread: https://twitter.com/hallyulyrebird/status/1559752211613511680
The double empathy problem contributed to misunderstandings that either resulted in the abrupt ending of friendships or a slow decline and distance as underlying issues seemingly could not be resolved. This is the context I’m using for this thread.
I read some threads around the break up that Lee Jun-ho didn’t seem to be very observant for someone who has been able to read her well to this point. Or that Woo Young-woo should have been more direct and told him right away what the issue was.
Yet that puts the emotional burden of facilitating that understanding back on her. Not without cost. To potentially cause a rift in Jun-ho’s family. To expose your own trauma as someone who had learned from a young age that your very existence causes pain for others.
To make yourself vulnerable when sometimes honesty is dangerous and sometimes autistic-NT relationships can’t accomodate it. To face rejection (again) when many of us have had a lifetime of school and workplace bullying, exclusion, trauma and loss.
Plus many of us ended up feeling responsible for the emotional well-being of those around us. We heard every time we were seen as a burden, too much, too difficult, too selfish. And we perceived that we became more worthy when we masked or behaved in a more neurotypical fashion.
But we can’t just think our way out of being autistic. We can’t theorise it and flip a switch to see the world with a NT brain. It hurts when others accuse us of using autism as an excuse for poor behaviour. This may be the case with some people, but not the vast majority.
And because we have so much difficulty reading between the lines, interpreting relationship nuance, we need our friends and partners to be clear. I still have trouble figuring out who is a friend or not, either online or IRL. And it’s not getting any easier tbh.
Read the entire thread here: https://twitter.com/hallyulyrebird/status/1560848697696878593
The usual disclaimer. I am writing this based on my experience as a late-diagnosed autistic woman and the parent of an autistic daughter. I do not claim to speak for all autistic people. But I do use “we” to reflect some widely shared experiences in the autistic community.
https://twitter.com/hallyulyrebird/status/1560848704504201222
