As expected, 1FL wants to end things her way, on her own terms. That's what she's been doing her entire life, she's in control. However, as was shown in last week's episodes, she's in a journey. Remember when she talked to her father?
That “talk” was continued in episode 13, this time with her mother. About forgiveness. This is what she lacks, she doesn't know how to forgive.
You see, forgiveness is not only about the other person, in fact, forgiving someone is THE SECOND STEP. The FIRST STEP in forgiveness is forgiving yourself!
She can not forgive her father. She can not forgive the people who wronged her. It's all because she doesn't know how to forgive herself. She was probably blaming her 'luck' in life… her father cheated which caused the death of her brother, and everything went downhill with their family. She did not finish her studies, which led to being stuck where she is at despite being the star employee every single time.
Recall the scene in episode 13 when she blurted out against 1ML? “Why are you so indifferent?”, “Why are you not asking anything?” It was unnerving her.
All her life, she learned and saw everyone to be the same. They judge other people. They look down on other people. But, here's the 1ML, silently following her, doing nothing. It unnerved her. The 1ML doesn't match anything she learned in her life. The 1ML is no longer hesitating (ep1 and 2). He changed. It is making her uncomfortable.
Then the scene when 1ML told her “I will keep coming back”, “I will see you again tomorrow”. Those words, those sincerity from him, crushed half of her wall.
It was also brilliant for the 1ML to have waited in a different location. The 1ML really did change. He knew the 1FL will look for him that night, and he knew it is better for the 1FL not to see him.
He accomplished two things with that strategy:
- He gave her space. If she saw him, she will rebuild her wall. She will get angry.
- It gave her some semblance of stability. The thought in her mind is likely something like this: “Ahh, he's just the same, as any other guy. All words. He probably realised it's not worth it.”
The final scene. The 1ML showed up with an umbrella when 1FL was completely down. When the 1FL's walls are all finally destroyed.
At that moment, the 1FL realised how alone she truly is. How she's the one making her life miserable. How she's keeping everyone at arms length because of the hurt she felt when she discovered their father cheated (which also caused the death of her brother).
She was not able to truly move on from that moment of her life, when everything came crashing down around her. No one wants her anymore. The people she expected to be with her, are gone.
For example, the 2ML. She was still hoping that the 2ML would have a changed of heart. But, nope, 2ML even called her a “b*tch”. Now, that's the typical guy. A guy you definitely do not want to be in a relationship with.
Then 1ML showed up, with an umbrella.
That sent a thousand messages to her.
Let's talk about the 1ML.
When the 1ML finally opened up to 2FL, and he cried? Some are probably asking, “why”. Simple. He was hurt too. His hurt is probably not because “he broke up with someone he loves”. His hurt is more likely coming from the fact that he finally admitted he was wrong, and realised how bad, bordering evil, the things he did to such a wonderful person as the 2FL.
It also broke his principles. Maybe he told himself all the years of his life that he'll be a good person. People looked down on him at school because he was not as rich as any of his classmates. He burned his eyebrows just be the top of their class. His mother supported him.
Person like that grow up with principles that they hold dear. But, once they realise they broke their own principles, principles they held for dear life, it damn hurts deeply. Think of it this way. For a person like him, it was as if he stabbed a knife to his heart. It feels like, “I'm no different from those people who looked down on us”.
But here's the thing about the 1ML. FORGIVENESS again!
What? Forgiveness? Who did he forgive?
The answer is himself.
The first step in forgiveness is forgiving yourself. But what is the first step to forgiving yourself? Admission and embracing the reality.
That's what the 1ML did.
The result? He freed himself from the burden, as well as, he freed the 2FL.
The 2FL finally stopped. The 2FL finally accepted the reality. She knew and she understood that “this is it, it is over, not a chance”.
Let's talk about the 2FL for a bit.
Why did she smile before she left?
Most would probably think she was just trying to save face, after all, she was dumped. She's wealthy. Her family is powerful. Her father is scary. Her family's entire wealth will go to her one day. But, here's a guy, a poor guy at that, who she gave herself over, and will give the world for him…
He dumped her, and was very sincere about it.
Of course, who wouldn't want to smile after that and pretend to be strong, right?
But, you see, she did not smile because of that. That is not her character. She smiled because she also felt the burden lifted.
Seriously, who can smile when they were dumped? Even if you want to save face, you only do that when there are people around. You do not need to save face in front of the person who broke up with you, especially when it's just the two of you. You just cry, and have one last final attempt of making them change their mind. Or, to at least make them feel really bad. You'll take their pity, if that is what it takes to be with them.
But to smile?
So, why did she throw a rock on the car she gave him?
That was her way of closing everything. Her way of cutting herself from that relationship.
That car represents her desire to win him, which failed. By throwing a rock against it, she symbolically released herself from it. That is the acceptance and embracing on her part. Which led to her forgiving herself. Which of course will lead to moving on.
Last, but not the least, the 2ML.
If he only listened to 1FL that they will talk after work, they probably still had a chance to continue their relationship.
Again, the 1FL is a broken person, and she's afraid to face that reality. (That's why she destroys the castles she built, instead of letting others do it.)
Her plan, no doubt, was to keep the 1ML away. Unfortunately, things got complicated because the 2ML called her phone, and the 2ML created a drama when she told him “later”.
You know, I wouldn't be surprised if the 1FL chose the 2ML at that point. Thus, when they had their final confrontation, and the 2ML told her she's a "bitch”, that completely destroyed all her walls. Which led to her finally facing her reality and embracing it.
Why did I say that? Because, being with the 1ML is making her feel a cheater, like the father she hates. Her plan was for the 1ML to stop pursuing her, not for the 2ML.
But, it's better in the long run. Why? Because the 1FL now knows the true character of the 2ML.
The 2ML clearly have deep issues. When he felt betrayed, he lashed out without any control. Somewhere in his history, he witnessed something very bad, and it brought back those memories.
He even said, “I shouldn't have done it”. That was because the 2ML is having an internal battle. He was sorry, I do believe it was genuine. But, whatever his dark past was, it is having a battle with his positive/hopeful side.
But, when the 1FL still said it is true, that she did sleep with someone else, the 2ML lost it and said the worst thing that can be said.
Trust me, the 2ML will be tortured by what he said later on (at least in real life). I also suspect he knew the 1FL was faking it. Because the 1FL isn't that type of person. She held herself high despite people around her whispering behind her back. And then, just like that, she slept with someone? Not just someone, but a co-employee?
That definitely is super out-of-character. People who truly know the 1FL would suspect it was all a ruse for something. I actually suspect the 2FL also suspected it was fake.
For the 2ML, when the 1FL continued with her lie, it came across to him as “she wants to break up with me, but can not do it the NICE way”. So, he lost himself and said, "bitch”.
Now, let's see what episode 14 is about. ^_^
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