Final words…

The ultimate question: Did they live happily ever after, as a couple? Or, did they live happily ever after, as friends?

Answer: it can go either way, 50-50.

Here's why.

As I mentioned in the previous weeks, this show is a story about love, relationships, break-ups, forgiveness, and moving on. This is not a fantasy romance where we would feel we are in heaven, and dream of Mr. Right and Ms. Perfect. No, none of that.

My first romantic relationship lasted for three (3) years. She was my first, and I was her first. We broke up, we talked, we closed things properly. But, guess what? We both failed to moved on.

In our case, she got married a few years later. It took us 11 more years to have a real closure. We failed to move on because we were not honest with ourselves, and we did not learn to forgive ourselves.

Before we can truly move on, we need to forgive the other party. But, we can not forgive other people if we do not forgive our own self first. To be able to forgive our own self, we need to face the reality and embrace it.

Yes, it is a process. It can take years, or it can take as short as a minute. It does not matter if you understand the process, there are people who can truly move on fast without being aware of the process.

Personally, I have proven that process to myself, when in late 2020, my 15-year relationship ended. When I learned to face reality, when I learned to embrace it. It was only then I was able to forgive myself.

It felt good. The heavy burden in my mind, and on my shoulders, were lifted. I was able to finally breathe. Then, I was able to forgive and thank her, even though I was only talking to the air.

It took me three (3) months, and I also had to put a deadline for myself. What do I mean? I told myself, “after this date, all is over, period”. After that date passed, I moved on. I started to smile.

Once we have truly moved on, that is only the time that healing begins. There is no healing if you can not smile. There is no healing if you can stomach hearing your ex's (or enemy's) name. You are not healing at all if you are still reacting emotionally when you see that other person's shadows, or hear them breath.

All these things are what “The Interest of Love” was telling us.

We all know that love and relationships are complicated, but do we truly understand it?

The 1FL was mostly pessimistic in the entire show. Rightly so, because there are people who are pessimistic. They do exist, and if you have not met at least one pessimistic person, you have not truly lived.  The 1FL represents people who are pessimistic.

While the 1ML is a type of person who have a positive outlook in life, who was later crashed because of love. He was that type of person you have probably met once who never had time about love and relationships. But, when their heart was stolen by someone, they had no idea how to act and handle things.

Our pessimist 1FL eventually grew and started to have a positive outlook in life. All because of the 1ML.

At the same time, our 1ML, who had no idea about love and relationships, learned to listen and understand other people. All because of the 1FL.

Are you seeing how these two characters are helping each other grow? That is love and relationship. In episode 16, they even asked, “Were we really in love?” Because their relationship as two individuals was closer than they care to admit.

Let's take a detour.

There is also an important contrast between the 1ML and the 2ML. The 2ML acted badly when he heard the news that the 1FL slept with another man (note: there was no concrete proof if she did or not). The last word he told the 1FL was, “b**ch”.

However, what struck me was the 2ML also grew. Instead of sulking, or trying to find the 1FL and, maybe, force her back into a relationship after apologising, he decided to just call it.

Like what I mentioned earlier, the 2ML faced his reality and embraced it. He was not able to ask for forgiveness in person, but he knew he was forgiven because he learned to forgive himself.

He turned his bad experiences as a source of strength. He focused on his studies, and eventually achieved his dream to become a police officer.

Meanwhile, the 1ML was not giving up. He tried to find the 1FL, and he did, only to lose her again. And for the next four years, he tried to survive, hoping to see her one more time. (We are assuming he chose the branch himself.)

Another detour. The 2FL! Let's not forget her.

What type of character was she? She is that person who will do anything to get what they want. Not necessarily rich and wealthy people, mind you, there are ordinary people who get what they want just because. The 2FL represents those type of persons.

However, when it comes to love and relationships, it's either shallow or one-sided. First, she accepted the fact that the 1ML has eyes for the 1FL, but when he needed a shoulder to cry on, she freely offered herself. This is what we call “rebound relationship”.

For the 2FL, as long as she gets what she wanted, it is fine for her to be the rebound. The bad effect of this is that, the other person (the 1ML in this case) will never be fully into that relationship. They are either still thinking of the other person (the 1FL in this case), or they are only using the rebound relationship to heal (and once they healed, they will more likely leave).

The 1ML, who was growing because of the 1FL, realised this and broke up with her. Three years later, the 2FL returned to Korea, healed. In episode 16, she mentioned that she is fine talking about the 1ML because she (truly) moved on.

They even showed a scene how the 2FL saw the 1ML during the wedding, and it did not bother her. Was it because she found a new boyfriend? No, it wasn't about faithfulness and loyalty to her new boyfriend. In the first place, if she has not truly moved on, she would not be able to have a new boyfriend, that is not her character. Not to mention, she would not show up in the wedding knowing that they may cross paths.

The 2FL grew and learned what it means to love and have a relationship. Not just a romantic relationship, but also a relationship with her father.

Which brings us back to the 1FL and her relationship with her father. Like the 2FL, the 1FL also have a strained relationship with her father, although different, they are both not close to them.

See the contrast and 'relationships'?

And now, we are in episode 16. We have gone full circle when the 1ML and the 1FL started to talk about their “what-ifs”. This is a different kind of “what-ifs”.

Usually, “what-ifs” are regrets. However, in the case of the 1ML and 1FL, it was an intellectual discourse. Would things between them have ended up differently… if…?

There were no regrets when they looked back at their memories. Why? How? Simple. They learned to face and embrace their reality, and have forgiven themselves, and each other.

They moved on from the pain they caused each other. And they used those experiences to grow for the next four years of their lives.

Thus, when they met again, they were simply two ___healed___ individuals reminiscing their time together.

Think of it this way, tabula rasa. Clean slate.

They can choose to become a couple. Or, they can decide to remain as “special” friends.

I personally know married couples who broke up and later met again 4+ years later. They rekindled their love and relationship.

I, myself, went through the latter. Remember the first relationship I shared earlier, which took 11 years before we finally were able to moved on? Whenever our paths cross, after the true closure, there are no more lingering emotions and feelings between us. We can talk about the past normally, as in, just the past.

Some would probably say, “well, she's married and have children”. Sure, that's valid. However, even if she is still single, that part of our lives is long gone. We have reached the point wherein we will never cross our unwritten and undiscussed boundaries. We are just nothing but “special” friends.

I can see it in her eyes, and I am sure she can see it in my eyes, too. The past is the past. It's over between us, permanently. There is nothing to rekindle. We can reminisce, but that's it, nothing to rekindle. Our love for each other changed to something akin to brother and sister.

This is why the ending of “The Interest of Love” was like that.

Here are two individuals, whose lives were entwined when they were younger and innocent. Four years later, having learned from their experiences, and have forgiven themselves in the process, their paths crossed again.

They are representing two types of “couples”.

The first is: those couples who rekindled their love and gotten married later.

The second is: those couples, like me and my first, who will never have a romantic relationship ever again, but remain good friends.

It is up to the audience to decide which path the 1ML and the 2FL will choose. They can remain as friends, having grown and learned from each other. Or, they can rekindle their love and see where it goes this time around.

After all, they did ask and realised, “were we in love then?”

These are what the 1ML, 1FL, 2FL, and the 2ML, all learned in their lives: You are the sum of your experiences. Learn from it and become a better person. Never harbour hatred and bitterness, rather, listen and understand each other.

All of our relationships are important. Be it romantic, as friends, or with our families. In these personal relationships, let love encompassed it all.