Neglected Kids from First Marriages - Curiosity is Killing Me

DISCLAIMER: This discussion is absolutely not intended to judge or bash. I'm hoping it will be used solely as an opportunity to learn about different cultures around the world. It's something I've always loved learning about in school and I'd love the opportunity to continue to learn more now. 

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The FL's divorced parents in this drama are something else. However, I've seen this situation a whole lot in Chinese (and Korean) dramas where neither parent wants the child from their first marriages and move on and have whole new lives leaving those children completely neglected and displaced.

How realistic is this scenario? Can someone tell me? I've also gotten the impression that step children are often seen as faux pas in general, which often results in these situations. Is that true too?

I acknowledge that a lot of these tropes are thrown in and exaggerated for dramatic purposes but I genuinely wonder how accurate of a a portrayal some situations might be.  Pure curiosity. No judgement.

For example, I remember reading a comment for another drama recently, where someone said there was no way arranged marriages between wealthy families for the sake of business considerations could still be happening. I remember thinking, they'd be surprised.

Back in my college days one of my classmates was a rich Korean 'heiress'. Her family situation was like those in dramas down to a T. Her parents made every decision for her - what her major would be, who she could date, even what classes to take. They hated her associating too much non-Koreans and even then they could only be of equal or higher status. She was miserable (gorgeous, but miserable) but explained that that's just how their culture was. She was a really, really good girl but had to sneak around a lot just to occasionally have fun (even just playing cards in the dorms or something simple).

That was my first introduction to the culture, long before I started watching Asian dramas.

I remember another classmate who was Chinese and already married as a college sophomore and hers had been an arranged marriage. She met her husband the week before they got married at the family meeting. I remember we had an English class together in our sophomore year and she told me then about her husband and how they'd been married just as they started college. She said she was lucky because they had a really wonderful relationship and she loved him a lot now but the fact was they never even dated.

I've lived my entire adult life in the US and obviously those were both situations involving extremely wealthy families so I'm not saying this stuff is normal for average Chinese and Korean families. I'm also not saying that I know it to be prevalent in wealthy families either; just that it DOES happen.

Because of that I often wonder how much else that's portrayed in these dramas is legit too. Like if divorce is still highly stigmatized and step kids (and blended families) severely frowned upon, and if kids from first marriages are often left behind as well. In most Korean dramas they end up being raised by a grandparent.

Can anyone shed some light?

I've figured out some of this as it's been a while since I first posted this but you've provided so much insight and clarity. I wasn't thinking of abandonment like leaving them somewhere and just walking away when I first posted this. I did mean more of leaving them behind to be raised by their grandparents which, you're right, I've only seen it depicted more and more as I've watched more Asian dramas. Korean dramas in particular. It seemed to be almost more normal than not actually. But it just felt like the cases where the parents were away working they weren't completely forgotten. However, when it was a case of remarriage it almost feels like they don't want a reminder of their previous lives as that would tarnish their new life? Does that make sense? I do remember seeing more recently, a few dramas where there were blended families and I thought that was so cool as it felt so rare in comparison.

I LOVE that you took the time to respond though. It's not a matter of my judging the culture. I just watch so many dramas that it always makes me wonder how much of what I see is based on the realities of the culture. I can't help to want to understand the different aspects of Asian cultures better. It's like travelling the world without leaving home. Even the differences between each of the Asian countries fascinate me. Piecing together how their different histories shaped those differences (and similarities) between the cultures does as well. Learning first hard from people who live there or have families there helps me get to the truth of it - not a bunch of heresay.

I was also literally just thinking recently about how we tend to ignore the reality of the fact that marriage isn't just about two people in other cultures. We wholeheartedly believe that it is and that the families just need to accept it. I have grandkids via my eldest son who's had kids with 2 different women. His first relationship fell apart and now he's engaged to the mother of his 3rd child. Sounds messy. I know. But it's not at all uncommon where I'm from in Atlanta, GA. The thing is, while it's obvious to everyone that both women will always be in my son's life as the mothers of his children, I recently had to explain to him too that they're also now permanently in my life as they are both mothers to my grandkids. So, for the sake of my grandkids, whether I like these women or not doesn't matter. I just need to find ways to learn to accept them as a part of my life from now on. Luckily both women aren't intolerable. But it could have been a nightmare that I never asked for.  So, yes, a marriage is bigger than just 2 people, especially when kids are involved.

On YouTube there is alot of documentaries about China's abandoned kids or those who get left behind with grandparents and never get to see their parents again. Either because they work too far or they just lose touch. In some cases in China, kids actually get kidnapped by one parent in divorce and the other one never gets to see them again, especially if it's a boy child. Some kids are just kidnapped and sold to those who don't have because the whole issue of getting rid of women means some men can't find wives and since they care about their family names continuing they could do anything to ensure the generations continue. The one child policy messed them up.

Koreans look like they just blatantly discriminate against each other when it comes to issues like divorce and being born out of wedlock. Some families require that the wife leaves the kids with the husband's family especially if there is a boy child and there is that famous actress who was married to a chaebol that has never seen her kids again after she divorced. There are some documentaries on YouTube about parents just sending their kids to the orphanage when they are not even dead in Korea. I'm sorry but I generally think Korean society is brutal and cruel and blames people for things they can't change like their parentage or circumstances of their own life. The way they shun orphans is beyond me, a lack of compassion.