They Just Scream Consent

Literally confirming he wants to to the point that he gets annoyed that I keep asking and/or gives me a weird look for asking.

Also, I just had to add that Nubsib says "Can I kiss you?" in the most adorable way possible.

It's a movie about BDSM so it kind of goes without saying that consent will be a topic/theme.

It was a very equal (seems contradictory, I know. Lol) relationship.

It highlighted the difference between consent in a Dom and Sub interaction and non-con. Just because it's a relationship that involves punishment/pain doesn't mean it's okay for the Dom to do whatever they want. Which is why there's something called communication, and a safe word.

Don't Say No? 

More like, "Don't say no. I'm just kidding you can definitely say no of course, in fact let's just have a conversation as well as questions to confirm along the way--I was just trying to say something a bit romantic and cheesy—I hope you know I wouldn't try to force you into anything you didn't want to do as well—I mean this relationship consists of two people . . . I'm rambling aren't I? What I'm trying to say is that you can definitely say no."

After seeing this drama I just thought the title was quite funny in hindsight.

Also, just Leon. Precious Leon immediately backing away and not kissing Pob in that scene. Where can I get a Leon?

Link to Review, where I gush over this drama and how it goes about showcasing not only healthy consent but also healthy communication: https://mydramalist.com/profile/8835865/reviews/171825

Mr. I'm-not-going-to-kiss-you-because-of-a-game-and-also-when-you-look-really-uncomfortable-with-the-situation-so-I'll-just-give-your-forehead-a-light-peck-and-go *cough* *cough* I mean, Mr. Kurosawa.

Just take my heart. Go on, just take it!

Asks first and then counts slowly to give time for him to move away/reject the kiss.

Also, at the end, clearly sees he is emotionally overwhelmed, confirms the situation, and then initiates the kiss. That scene gets me every time in the feels. Every time!

ML is very respectful of her making her own choices and living her own life as well as her personal space. Not just that but he does ask for consent to hug and kiss her (multiple times).

The FL's first kiss with the ML did not involve proper asking of consent on her part. But, she does ask in no uncertain terms later (Ep 13), "Could I kiss you?"

That, "Please?" before that one kiss (after he also asked) turned my heart into one giant pile of emotional slush. My hearrrrrt! <3

Literally, I played that back more than the kiss scene itself (also it's the scene that made me put the term "live in my mind rent-free" in the description above).

Specifically during Ep 2. Very well done consent scene. The ML may not be a good person but he does understand and respect consent:

Him and the FL are dancing together at a party and he asks if she wants to go home with him. He says, "If you aren't comfortable to do, it's okay. I understand." She gives a nod. Then he confirms further, "You aren't drunk, are you? I don't want to take advantage of a drunk girl." She responds, "I'm not drunk."

He asks her first, makes it clear she can refuse, and makes sure she is level-headed enough to consent. I'm kind of impressed with the drama for this. This is some of the most explicit and careful asking of consent I've seen short of straight up asking, "Do I have your consent?"

Specifically during the final episode. The "Can I touch you?" had me screaming. Yes, I love asking!

Does not kiss him while he is passed out and also far too drunk like you see in so many dramas.

Also, goes in for a kiss that appeared to be very much welcome/initiated by him and upon noticing that it isn't reciprocated (in that moment at least) does not continue, immediately apologizes, and leaves. Can we say reading the situation properly?

"I want to kiss you."

"You can."

:)

"Just let me know in advance."

I melt! ❤

This is what I'm labeling adorable consent.

She is under a blanket peaking her head out and just blurts out, "We can kiss." He says, "What?!" and gets all flustered and she clarifies, "It was more of a suggestion. Can I kiss you?" He rambles on and is basically like "Since when did you ask me?" so she pulls him in and quickly kisses him before ducking under the covers. He then pulls the blanket down and they kiss again.

SO Adorable!!!

Specifically during Ep 8, just multiple Can-I-kiss-you's in a row. This precious, precious man.

He saw he seemed a bit uncomfortable but wasn't saying anything so he just gave him a kiss on the cheek and said he would wait to kiss him when he agrees. My heart ❤

I saw Kurosawa-respectful type behavior here. I had a flashback to the legendary forehead kiss.

Specifically during Ep 12. I just love this scene because while there is teasing going on, Puen still respects any boundaries Talay sets, even if they're temporary.

It's morning, and they're being cheesy and messing around. Talay asks Puen what he would like to do, and Puen says he wants to kiss him. This exchange follows:

Puen: "Can I?"

Talay: "What if I say no?"

Puen: "I won't do it."

Specifically during Ep 8. Ayan presses, not pressures. He leans in for a kiss only to be stopped and respectfully backs away, but he doesn't let Akk ignore what's going on between them.

He approaches him later and, seeing his anxiousness, tells him his feelings first. Then, he says: "I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?" He then leans in, and even though Akk closes his eyes as though he's accepting the kiss, he pauses to tell him: "If you don't like it, if you're not okay, let me know. I'll stop."

Specifically Phu and Cir in a deleted scene from Ep 5. The multiple confirmations were so sweet to see.

It's late at night and Phu asks Cir to put this cream on him. He relaxes back on the bed and Cir asks him where he wants him to put it. Phu responds with, "Anywhere you want. My face. My neck. Or my chest. Put it anywhere you want."

He starts rubbing the cream gently on his face, and this is the conversation that follows:

Phu: "Cir . . . You can get jealous."

Cir: "I can?"

Phu: "Of course, we're boyfriends. You can get jealous, possessive, or say you don't want me to get close to other guys. You can do anything you want. Just like . . . You can touch me anywhere. Because you're my boyfriend. "

Cir: "Really?"

Phu: "Yes. You . . . Can do anything."

Cir: "Anywhere?"

Phu: "Yes. Anywhere."

Specifically during Ep 8.

Lian: "You're not drunk, are you?"

Kuea: "I'm not."

Lian: "Do you realize what we're doing?"

Kuea: *nods* "Yes."

And later:

Lian: "If you're not okay . . . Tell me immediately."

Kuea: *nods*

Specifically during Ep 1. Win asks Team how many drinks he's had and if he's drunk. He then confirms he is conscious of himself and his surroundings by asking him questions. I have to put this whole conversation just because I appreciate it so much:

Win: How many drinks have you had?

Team: Three.

Win: Are you drunk now?

Team shakes his head and also answers "No."

Win: Are you sure? Then answer my question[s]. [Are you] dating anyone?

Team: What are you trying to do?

Win: I'm not going to do this if you're drunk or unconscious. Answer the damn question. Are you dating anyone?

Team: No.

Win: Where are you right now?

Team: Win's room.

Win: Last question . . . Who is this person in front of you?

Team: Win.

Specifically during Ep 4. Kevin messes around with Pluem by saying that supposedly getting naked scares off ghosts (lol). He says he should do that since he's such a scaredy-cat.

Pluem tells him not to joke around and Kevin tells him he's not. So Pluem clarifies "You want that? I asked you, 'You want that?'" And Kevin says "Yes!"

Pluem challenges Kevin's words by acting like he's going to take both their clothes off, once Kevin tells him he gives up though he pulls him up and clarifies he's not joking.

They get close together and this conversation follows:

Kevin: "Isn't it too soon?"

Pluem: "Well . . . Maybe you're right."

Kevin: *kisses Pluem's shoulder* 

Pluem: "I can wait for it."

Kevin: *lightly kisses Pluem* "But . . . I don't want you to."

How many times do I have to say this: CONSENT. IS. ATTRACTIVE.

*ahem* Moving on. 

Specifically during Ep 4. Koichi asks Mitsuru "Can I bite your ear?" as well as later asks permission to touch him before he proceeds any further.

Specifically during Ep 3:

"I wanna do something. Come closer."

*direct and intentional eye contact by both parties followed by a clearly mutual kiss*

Also, Ep 4:

"Are you sure? We can stop if you want"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Super sure."

Specifically during Ep 7. They're having a deep conversation and Tae Young, after stating his feelings again, asks Jung Woo:

"I can move forward, right?"

Jung Woo smiles and then they both make direct and intentional eye contact before leaning in for a kiss.

Specifically during Ep 8. They extensively plan before "doing it." Example: They get their nails removed and talk to their friends and each other about it. And they both talk about and mutually agree ahead of time to drink together before being intimate.

Being fully conscious when giving consent is still a priority here like in the first series [insert scene between Lian and Kuea].

Also, during Nuer and Syn's intimate scene Nuer stops several times to confirm whether Syn wants to continue.

Specifically during Ep 2. Ritsu asks Masumi if he can "put it in" and waits for his verbal confirmation before proceeding.

When Gun or Tinn has initiated a kiss that the other decided not to go through with they have backed off and respected it.

Specifically during Ep 10. After they've intensely made out for a while, Wen makes direct eye contact with Wynn and asks, "Can I?" before proceeding further.

King puts the ball in Uea's court, allowing him to decide for himself. He puts the offer of "friends with benefits" out there without pushing or expecting anything. He also stops/slows down his physical advances whenever Uea stops him/briefly halts things. Also, specifically during episode 3, one of Uea's rules is regarding consent and he makes it clear to King that his "No" means "No."

Specifically during Ep 3. Ritsu first voices that he "was expecting [they] would do that. So [he] got excited." After Fumiya confirms his feelings and Ritsu's and they take a more intimate position they have the following back and forth:

Fumiya: Sorry, I can't hold back any longer (before he initiates things further).

Ritsu: Then don't.

Fumiya: You're seducing me.

Ritsu: I'm not. Take your clothes off.

Fumiya: Can I?

Ritsu: Go ahead.

Fumiya: Do you mind?

Ritsu: I'm happy.

Specifically during Ep 6. Gun asks Cher "Can I kiss you?" as well as waits for his answer before proceeding.

Just a note: Cher VERY enthusiastically consents.

During Ep 6, Phat and Saengtai have an intense makeout session. Before it goes further, Phat makes a point to stop and communicate with Saengtai about how he will wait for him to be ready. 

Additionally, in Ep 7, Phat and Saengtai become more intimate than before. When Phat goes to undress him below the waist, Saengtai redirects his hands, and Phat pauses his advances in response, with them having the following conversation:

Saengtai: I'm not ready. Give me more time, okay? 

*a moment passes where Phat breathes heavily and seems to be trying to calm down after getting "excited"*

Saengtai: Can I help you, then?

Phat: Tai? 

*Saengtai pulls Phat up and gets him into a position for that "activity"*

Phat: Are you sure about this?

Also, in Ep 10: Saengtai asks Phat if he can sleep over in his room that night. After a bit of tension and a brief conversation, Saengtai says, "I am ready." After they makeout for a bit and things get intense, Phatt asks Saengtai, "May I?" To which he responds, "This is my first time. Don't get me hurt."

Specifically during Ep 5.  Jae Hyun asks Seung Jun, "Can I kiss you?" before leaning in.

Now, don't get me wrong, I did appreciate having the question asked. However, since Seung Jun wasn't very clearly expressing his mutual desire to step forward with his relationship with Jae Hyun before this point, I very much would have preferred he said "yes" or otherwise have clearer facial cues showing he wanted this, especially as he does return the kiss after a moment of hesitation.

Specifically during Ep 10. Jeng and Pat are lying in bed together. They kiss and Jeng tries to initiate things further. Pat halts his hand, and says, "I don't think we should. I'm not in the mood." Jeng respects this, says okay, and they continue to cuddle and talk.

Specifically during Ep 2. Charn is by no means a saint, but he does have SOME lines he won't cross:

We find out that Charn didn't actually do anything when Tinn was completely out of it. And when Charn sees Tinn the next morning he teases him for only like three seconds before immediately letting him know nothing happened. He later says "We both have to be rational if I'm doing it." And then, "Actually, we are very rational now. Do you want to do it?"

Specifically during Ep 10. After the two MLs both partially undress, Pisaeng takes Kawi's hands in his and asks him "Are you sure?" To which Kawi responds with an affirmative noise and nod.

Specifically during Ep 1. Top enters Mew's apartment under the clearly false pretense of having a headache. After he drinks some water, they have the following conversation:

Top: You know I don't have a headache, right? I just needed an excuse to be in your room.

Mew: I do.

Top: You do and you still let me in. Does that mean you like me too?

Mew: Um (meaning "yes').

Top: Do you know what's happening next?

Mew: I think I can guess.

Top: Yeah? But it's difficult to guess how I will start.

Top then removes Mew's glasses and they proceed to have an intense makeout. Before things go further physically though, Mew says Top's name and pushes him off a bit and expresses how he isn't ready. At first, Top interprets this as Mew being scared because it's his first time but then Mew explains to him that he doesn't want to have sex with someone he doesn't know well enough. A bit later they have some ice cream and talk:

Mew: Are you mad?

Top: No. Why would I be? What kind of person do you think I am?

Mew: I just don't want my first time to be a one-night stand.

Top: I get you. I accept your decision anyhow. 

Mew then talks about how he doesn't want to have sex with Top and then get attached to him and want him as his boyfriend but end up alone and hurt. The conversation proceeds:

Top: Hey, I get you. Don't worry. It's not a big deal. Besides, it's good that you accept how you really feel. I should be the one apologizing. I'm just used to starting things with this. No one has ever asked me to have ice cream instead of sex before. It's pretty good. By the way, can I crash here tonight?

Mew: Sure, you can. But we will not do it whatsoever.

Top: What about cuddle? Can we?

Mew: Ok.

Specifically during Ep 5. After Ryuji has confessed and he and Amane agree to date, they sit down to watch the fireworks. Amane then turns to Ryuji and asks him, "Can I kiss you?" Rather than respond verbally, Ryuji simply leans in with clear intent to accept the kiss. After they kiss, they both get shy. Then there's an announcement that the festival is ending. As they both get up and prepare to leave, they have the following conversation:

Ryuji: "Amane."

Amane: "Hmmm?"

Ryuji: "Can we do it one more time?" 

Amane: "Something like that . . . You don't have to ask."

Ryuji: "No, because you asked me."

Amane: "That was because . . ."

Then Ryuji kisses Amane, and after they separate, they both grin and laugh happily.

Specifically during Ep 8. It's something small, but I thought it was worth mentioning. Dong Wook and Do Hyun are hanging out on the bed, chewing ice as it's hot. Do Hyun decides to mess around and puts an ice cube down Dong Wook's shirt. They then have the following flirty conversation:

Do Hyun: "It cools you down, right?"

Dong Wook: "It got into my underwear."

Do Hyun: "Huh?"

Dong Wook: *hesitates for a moment* " Do you want to check?"

Do Hyun: "Yes."

Dong Wook: "What?" *looks a bit bewildered*

Do Hyun: *leans forward* "Why? Can't I?"

Do Hyun then leans forward, and Dong Wook closes his eyes, accepting the kiss.

Specifically during Ep 5. After Fern and Boo confirm their feelings, Boo leans in like he's going to kiss Fern. When he hesitates, she asks, "Are you going to kiss me?"

Boo: "Can't I."

Fern: "You can."

She kisses Boo.

Specifically during Ep 10. They spend the day together and wind up on a bench where (before their intimate scene) they declare their intentions for the night:

Moo Young: "I want to sleep with you."

Jin Kang: "Me, too."

Specifically during Ep 2. They have been talking about "rehearsing" the kiss scene several times now and have almost gone through with it. After their "date," when they return home, they both tentatively put out there how it would make sense for their characters to kiss. After they kiss, Akafuji Yuichiro asks if they could "rehearse more." To which Aoyagi Hajime agrees.

Specifically during Ep 9. They get to talking about all the "firsts" they did on their trip together, and then Day intentionally puts his hand on Mhok's and says, "There's one more thing I'd like to do for the first time tonight. With you."

Bonus consent moment when they're later in the bedroom: 

Day: "Phi, can I get my tee back?"

Mhok: "Of course."

Mhok then helps lead Day's hands to remove his shirt.

She tells him in advance, "I plan to kiss you today." Also, Ep 18, the ML asks for consent to hold her hand. There are also just many other instances where they ask as well as pause and discuss or mutually decide to stop during intimacy.

Specifically during Ep 20. When I tell you this scene sent me! I died!

Princess Li Yun Zhen is inspecting Gu Xuan Qing's wounds and they end up getting intimate, initiated by her:

Gu Xuan Qing: "The princess can do anything she wants."

Li Yun Zhen: "I can do whatever I want?"

She pulls him forward and initiates some physical contact, intentionally slowly caressing him and kissing his face.

Then, she confirms again that he means it, "Really, can I do anything I want?

To which he responds by pulling off the outer layer of his clothes and pulling her down onto him on the bed.

I can't pinpoint a specific instance, but Manatsu is always looking for Ami to give enthusiastic consent, encouraging her to voice what she wants even if she's shy.

Across this drama, Joke illustrates his respect for and willingness to not cross Zo's physical boundaries (Zo is even the one who initiates their first kiss). He is always watching for clear signs that what he's doing/wants to do is okay/something Zo also wants. Two little examples:

Ep 6:

Joke: " I just want to hold you. Just that."

Zo smiles and turns away on his side.

Joke: "Silence means "yes," right?"

Joke then slowly positions himself so they're cuddling.

Ep 8:

They start kissing, and things get a bit heated. Zo pulls back for a moment, and Joke then checks in, "Something wrong? I can wait if you're not ready."

Zo: "I just . . . I'm not sure."

Joke: "That's okay. Until you're ready, I can wait."

Zo then goes back in to kiss him, and they move to the bed together.

When they're half-dressed, Zo says Joke's name, and they have the following conversation:

Joke: "Huh?"

Zo: "I've never . . ."

Joke smiles and laughs slightly.

Zo: "What's with the smile? It makes me self-conscious."

Joke: "I promise that when you're with me, you'll feel good. You trust me, right, Zo?"

Zo: "Yeah, Joke, I trust you."

They then continue.

Specifically during Ep 20. Kasuga and Yuki are sitting on the bed and have the following conversation:

Yuki: "Kasuga, are you  . . . Do you . . . A hug, or a kiss . . . Well . . . How far can we . . . I was wondering if there is a limit to how far I can go to touch you. That's why, I just . . ."

Kasuga: "Sure."

Yuki: "Well . . . "

Kasuga: "I would be happy if I could also try things with you one by one."

Yuki nods.

Kasuga: "Shall we try hugging"

Yuki: "What? Is it okay?"

Kasuga: "Yes."

Yuki nods, and the two slowly embrace each other, their hands still touching when they separate.

Yuki: "Kasuga . . . Can I  . . . Kiss you?"

Kasuga: "Yes."

They then both lean in and share a short and gentle kiss. Afterward, they smile softly at each other.

Both the ML and the FL pay clear attention to verbal cues when advancing as well as respect when requested to wait/retreat. Love to see it. I'll probably go back later to find a specific instance to describe.

Specifically during Ep 5. Tan asks for all the consent after he asks Khaofang to date him (and he says yes)! He asks to hold his hand, call him "Babe," and give him a cheek kiss. 

Specifically during Ep 8.

Moo: "Can I get a kiss?"
Kang: "Even if you didn't ask, I'd give it to you anyway."

They both lean in and kiss.

Specifically during Ep 4. Sun asks Salin, "Can we kiss?" After Salin nods and agrees, they kiss.

Specifically during Ep 8 &  9. 

Ep 8: After Sean does the trust fall with White and they talk about their gang's mission, Sean says to him, "This is the goal that keeps me alive, and you are too."

Sean then gently kisses White's forehead and, with clear intent, leans in to kiss him. When White backs off slightly, he does as well. He keeps direct eye contact with him as he leans in again to lightly peck White on the lips. After waiting a moment and seeing White isn't moving away, he leans in again, and they share a passionate kiss.

Ep 9: White enters their tent, and Sean follows after him. 

Sean: "Are you scared of me?"

White: "No. I'm not. So . . . What are we doing?'

Sean: "What should I do to you?"

White: "That's up to you."

Sean: "Don't be afraid. Once I did it, let me know if you like it or not."

Sean then bites White's ear and asks him, "Do you like that?" To which he responds, "I do."

Sean kisses White's cheek, "And that?" White nods, "Yes."

Sean then fully kisses White, and White gets on his lap to bite his ear and kiss his cheek in return, "And do you like that?"

Specifically during Ep 9. 

Game knows about Diew going on a trip with God and his friends and sends him an article about how to safely have sex in a tent. While reading it, God comes in to talk to him, and Diew ends up dropping his phone; God then sees the article.

Diew is embarrassed at first and won't look at him.

Seeing how nervous Diew looks, God says, "If you're not ready yet, we can do it later."

God goes to leave, but then Diew pulls him back and, trying to maintain eye contact, quietly says, "I . . . I'm ready."

God: "What did you say, baby?"

Diew: "Can we do it?'

In Ep 12, after Seok Ryu opens up about her worries that Seung Hyo is still viewing her as a friend even now when they're dating and talking through Seung Hyo's awkwardness with finally getting to date her, Seung Hyo asks that they go downstairs to read comic books rather than staying in her room. They have the following conversation:

Seung Hyo: "I don't think we should stay here."

Seok Ryu:  "Why not?"

Seung Hyo: "I'm having bad thoughts."

Seok Ryu: "What bad thoughts?"

Seung Hyo: "Thoughts I shouldn't be thinking. Cheap and crude thoughts. Unhealthy thoughts."

Seok Ryu: "I used to like unhealthy junk food. Powdered candy, taffy, and dalgona."

Seung Hyo: "Crunch balls, corn nuts, and slushies."

Seok Ryu: "Yeah. So go ahead. Think bad thoughts."

Seung Hyo: "What about bad deeds?"

Seok Ryu: "You can do those too."

Seung Hyo then kisses Seuk Ryu.