Seriously, I am shook! This was an amazing BL for a number of reasons. It was also a BL that you should view with caution for other reasons.

But I'll start with acting. The two leads, Mew and Gulf do an incredible job and have really phenomenal screen chemistry. And the supports were all very gifted actors as well. I think there wasn't a person in the cast who didn't just knock it out of the park! Type's toxic anger management issues were so well done. Tharn's utter grief towards the end, made me actually cry, and that's an achievement. I really can't say enough about the skill with which the main actors handled the roles.

Need a little more detail? Gulf gave a brilliant portrayal of Type as a raging anger moppet, concealing a deeply conflicted, deeply tortured character in the throws of a war with himself that is far more about his unresolved emotional baggage and far less about his actual sexual identity. As a survivor of an assault Type never really was able to contextualize what happened to him and his unresolved anger transferred onto LGBT men. He's deeply hurt, in the throws of severe PTSD and so conflicted he's enormously toxic. And Gulf brings every moment of that pain and bitterness out in very real and potent emotions on screen.

Mew gives achingly humanizing dimension to Tharn, an "out and proud" homosexual with a surprisingly nuanced personality and a lot of hope left in him, despite his suspiciously horrible track record with love. This character is far from perfect though and he himself does some very sketchy shit. On paper Tharn is a kind of a privileged boy-next-door sort and as a result, Tharn could have come off as boring . But underneath the good nature there's passion, righteous anger, desperation, devotion, mountainous vulnerability, and patience--wrapped in a burrito shell of VERY poorly reined-in impulses and absolutely abysmal decision making skills. And Mew brings every moment of that to life in superb color.

And while I spent half the time facepalming at Techno's utter lack of control over his mouth, I spent the rest of the time just laughing at his antics. If there was an award for loving a difficult friend, boy Techno would win it. Mild gave an amazing performance and it left me loving Techno forever.

Kudos also go to Tong for thankless job of playing Thorn, the best and worst older brother ever. (Worst because hello, is there a reason he didn't castrate San way back when Tharn was 14!? Let alone stayed friends with the creep?) Best brother for obvious reasons. He's really good at support.

And though he played one of the more insidious, criminally culpable villains I've ever seen in a college setting BL, the actor who played Lhong brought a lot of pathos and nuance to the character. It was chilling toward the end.

The gallery of smaller appearances and background characters was a lot richer and more varied than I expected. Champ was adorably sensitive, what we see of him, and he's such a rock at the end. San was suitably sleazy feeling. P'Jeed was a GEM! Team was hilarious! Both of the actors playing Tharn's parents were rock solid adorable! I loved them! The young actress playing Thanya made me grin like, non-stop. And while I didn't think Kokliang, the actor playing Tar, was nearly as cute as I think I was supposed to find him, I certainly found him very convincingly tragic. He acted the hell out of that role! Bravo!
The actors actors do such a good job I felt effortlessly swept up in the characterizations, even when I was yelling at them for doing terrible things.

Now onto production values. For a college setting it was visually pretty authentic, except for crowds at the football pitch. Their dorms even looked more like actual dorms than I'm used to seeing in a BL. Tharn's home definitely sold his social class and his family's identity as wealthy, progressive, "modern" Thai's. P'Jeed's bar was cute, with a cool 90's retro folk rock revival feel. Lighting values were very nice. The director knew how to set a mood. Music was excellent! I am hooked on that theme song.

Now onto the plot. The plot has to be looked at on two merits. The coherency of the plot and the actual way the themes were handled. Because the drama scores differently on each.

The love story itself just kicked my butt in terms of it's realism. That was sometimes wonderful and sometimes it was chilling. Steamy and heartbreaking and dark and hilarious and tender and infuriating, all in turns. This might sound like it was incoherent, but it wasn't. The actual structure of the romance plot was brilliant in its form. Intelligent dialog, authentic emotions out the wazo, good pace, excellent employment of background characters, and it all made blessed, blessed sense. I hate plots that make no sense. It had an unexpected villain. And the ending was amazingly dramatic! I needed a damn staycation to recover from binging it. Ultimately, this one set a standard for me for me both in what I wanted in a BL and what I hated in a BL. I definitely say that the screen writer was very skilled in adapting the shoddy source material.

Now for the themes. This show is NOT an easy watch. The show deals with some seriously adult topics, so be ready for some very dark themes. I was shocked by the gravity of some of it until later when I realized who the author was. I don't hate BL's with dark themes. I hate BL's where the dark themes are treated lightly or like fetish material. And for the most part that doesn't happen in this drama.

There are two notable moments when I felt the show fell short contextualizing lack of consent properly or completely within the framework of their romance. When Tharn gets revenge on Type's rampantly awful homophobic behaviors by leaving hickeys on him while he's out cold, it's not presented with the right tone. Yes, we see later how angry Type is but the overall context is that it was meant to make the audience laugh and that's a hard no. Not, NOT good. Horrible, in fact. And there is a moment when Tharn goes down on Type in the shower. It's not exactly non-consensual, but it's OH so damn close. Shockingly close. Type isn't restrained during the oral sex, but Tharn didn't gain anything resembling consent before he went about it and at least initially, Type was scared. Now, I will say that later Tharn shows remorse for that. I was gratified to find that later the plot does address it as an unacceptable act and I feel like the apology was definitely framed correctly not only on its own merits but because of the context of how it might have made some of Type's issues temporarily worse. And that is very rare in BL's. But that doesn't mean I felt the shower scene itself was framed correctly. Because it totally wasn't. Those two moments did not get proper treatment in terms of tone and it was something I think was a huge mistake.

There was one element of negativity in the romance I feel the show didn't handle wrong, per se. The tone was grave enough. But it wasn't "discussed" in the plot. And I wanted it to be. We saw by the end that Type had stopped doing it, but I really wanted a conversation about it. So it was handled okay, but not perfectly. Type had some serious anger issues and on more than one occasion he is what I would consider physically abusive with Tharn. I do note that as the story unfolded into the after series content and into the next season, this behavior is gone. But for the times we see it, I would have liked to have seen something more deliberate in the way of an approach to show this behavior for what it was.

(BL Done right!) This drama also has one of the sweetest, most authentic and casually sexy "gently mop the sick boy's brow" scenes I have ever watched. I typically roll my eyes at those scenes. Really, many of them are less "let me take care of you and relieve your suffering" and more "hey, let me awkwardly grope you with a wet towel while you feel too sucky to stop me." Mew managed to do something during that scene I'd rarely witnessed, which is make it look like he was actually trying to cool off a sick/fevered person and not just clumsily violating his love interest's personal bubble. And Gulf's performance was heartbreaking. Seriously, where did they find these two actors!!!

(BL done sort of wrong) During the course of their early very unhealthy dynamic, Tharn, against his own expectations, fell in love with Type. LOL. Not the bad part. But during the time frame after Tharn took care of Type when he was sick, a couple of nights Tharn kissed on Type's brow when he either is asleep, or he thinks he's asleep. While it was very benedictory and not sexual, more a "may you sleep without nightmares and may you not be sick again" kind of thing--I still feel like it was a little bit "no".

(BL done right!) Tharn's relationship with the idea of love is very dear. His ability to give himself to over to love after all the mishaps of past relationships shows a generous and hopeful nature. His willingness to walk away from Type when Type has such trouble coming to terms with his own sexuality shows a solid sense of self. And this is all beautifully contrasted by Lhong's greedy, malevolent love by contrast. He is neither well meaning or generous in his love. And his lack of sense of self is at the root. So wow. That was some brilliantly woven, complex and nuanced symmetry.

(BL done wrong!) The main thing I didn't really care for was that in the real world, Llong should have more consequences for his actions, instead of getting a teary-eyed, soppy "I turned bad because I was neglected" scene at the end. I rarely like villain redemption through apologist backstories. Your past never validates or diminishes the consequences for others when you do awful shit to people. Which is the same reason why Type's toxic behavior toward Than, while understandable, is not okay. Period.

(BL done right!) Type's filial relationships are so goddamn wholesome! I mean it! I loved his family and their dynamics were just not only very loving but very casually accepting of who Tharn was. I could have watched a whole drama just about Tharn and his brother, let alone the rest of that basket of absolute sweetness. I think this family's characterization is meant to be seen as the core of why Tharn is so well adjusted in his own sexual identity.

(BL done wrong!) They don't necessarily ever have Type demonstrate any real understanding that there's a difference between a pedophile and a homosexual. He reaches a place of "I get it. Not all gays", which I think we're supposed to feel is character growth, and compared to where Type started, it definitely IS. But it's not what I hoped for. It does nothing to deconstruct the patently false narrative that Type carries within him. One that is harming real gay peoples' lives every time it's perpetuated without being challenged. Yes, sore spot for me.

(BL done right!) The address of Tar's past was hearthbreaking and spine chilling and they did NOT handle it graphicly, thank fuck! But they did handle it in a way that you really felt the horror of what was done to him and so the tone was grave and grim and pitch perfect.

(BL done wrong!) I felt that at some point some damn boundaries should have been set for San! I left the show wishing Tharn would have said "hands off of me" and Thorn would have punched him for old time's sake. Or maybe booted him in the crotch. A lot. This character is a pedophile and his perpetual place in his victim's life (Tharn), while a sadly realistic component, was really REALLY not something I cared for. He was so slimy. And I get that we're supposed to feel like he's slimy, but I felt he was so believably slimy I wanted a cattle prod in Type's hands and the two of them alone in a room for 2 minutes.

Finally, there is a reason Mew Suppasit and Gulf Kanawut won awards for best kiss. The chemistry between the two of them is the most solid between two actors in any on-screen romance that I have ever seen in any country, in any genre ever. I've undoubtedly never seen anything as authentic before. The kisses were pure art.

So if you choose to watch this be forewarned. The content is hard. Be ready for a wild ride that really, REALLY feels good at the very end but the road there is sometimes awful. If you can make it through the rough waters I feel the payoff is worth it. Bring your girlfriends, some hot cocoa, a comfy blanket and DO NOT FORGET THE BOX OF TISSUE! And if you have to tap out, hey, I almost did at several points. There is no shame. I'm glad I didn't. But it was a near thing.