There are so many thoughts I have after finishing this drama. One of them is that it’s been hard to move on. This drama brought out so many emotions in me. It felt like being in high school again, but it was also a reminder that life does not always turn out the way we want it to be. We just have to hold on to hope that one day we will be the best versions of ourselves.

With You (I prefer the other title- The Best of Us) follows the story of the not-so-academically-capable Geng Geng and her deskmate, the very smart (but in physics and maths) Yu Huai. From day one of their meeting, they strike up a special bond that survives not only the entirety of their high-school years, but also beyond that. Apart from their characters, we also have the sweet but quick-to-declare-love Lu Xiang He, Geng Geng’s girl friends Beta and Jiang Dan, as well as a host of interesting side characters, including their adorable form tutor Zhang Ping.

Other than characters we meet at Zhenhua school, we mainly see family dynamics in Geng Geng‘s family. We see her negotiate her way through her parents’ divorce, her father’s remarriage. It takes her time to warm up to her step brother and step mother, but this progression is natural and beautiful.

Most the drama draws on slice of life moments that high school is all about. What is realistic (and what I love so much) is how romance isn’t the central aspect of this high school experience. We get a glimpse into how difficult it really is, how stressful it becomes for the kids, and how pressures from family and peers can move some people to the brink. Of course there are also first loves, heartbreaks, unrequited love- everything that happens in school.

It’s surprising how this lovely drama has such a low rating on MDL when it’s so highly rated on Douban. I attribute that to two complaints most people seem to have on MDL about this drama- lack of communication between Geng Geng and Yu Huai when Yu Huai goes off to study camp and the ending.

Here are my thoughts about these two aspects.

When Yu Huai went off to study camp towards the end of the show, he did not tell Geng Geng that they couldn’t keep phones near them. This resulted in both of them not getting a chance to speak to each other, and for Geng Geng to feel like Yu Huai hadn’t contacted her. However, I interpreted this as a sign that Yu Huai was already falling into some kind of depression he wasn’t aware of. He was extremely distracted during the camp. His panicked reaction after he fixed the broken phone only for it to end up broken again, is an indication of this. In his mind, he needed to contact Geng Geng because they had promised that to each other. However, his desperation to call her seems more like he needed her at that point because it was a cry for help. He doesn’t ever acknowledge this to himself because even he doesn’t know what he’s experiencing. Hence he didn’t tell her, because the desperation was actually from his side.

Once he is back from the camp, we see how he changes. He was already under this immense pressure to be the best of himself, but he falters at the first step. Geng Geng then tells him that if he gives up, what will people like her do (she means this in a supportive way, but its impact is different). That adds even more pressure to him where he feels that he cannot fail.

This brings us to the end. Many people cannot understand why he cut all communication and disappeared without informing any of his friends. Not only did Yu Huai not do well because of pressures and family circumstances, but he sank lower into depression. It’s not uncommon for people to retreat into a shell and distance themselves from others when they are under these circumstances. He was unhappy with himself. He (to himself) was now a failure who could not be the strength he thought Geng Geng wished him to be. He could not even pick himself up. Throughout these ten years, Yu Huai may not have appeared as a failure to others (he did eventually go to a local university and then got a scholarship to do a PhD at the USA, which he had to leave), but he was ashamed of not doing as well as everyone else. He was not where he wanted to be- and that’s the part most people don’t understand. It wasn’t about how others saw him but how he saw himself.

It was all this, coupled with the stress of having to take care of his sick parents. It wasn’t his pride that stopped him from asking for support- it was his low opinion of himself and his inability to find a solution to his ongoing problems. It’s very natural he did not reach out to even Geng Geng during this period of time. We only accept the love we think we deserve- and he thought he did not deserve her love. He thought he had nothing to offer her.

The ending is beautiful and poignant and many people probably see it as strange because there’s no resolution. Yu Huai is still in a terribly distressing situation - we learn that he might donate one of his kidneys to his mother. He still has all the worries. Geng Geng reaches out her hand to him- to support him. This is as realistic as it gets. Yu Huai isn’t just going to run and embrace her, or kiss her. He is depressed, still has a low opinion of himself. At the end when he goes to meet her, it is only a small step he is taking of allowing Geng Geng into his miserable life.

This is a highly underrated and beautiful show which is incredibly realistic. It was easy to cry buckets after watching this, because it leaves one with a lingering sadness. The ending is not happy, but bittersweet. This makes it so relatable.

I have to say that all the actors in this show were amazing. This was my first show with Tan Songyun, but she was so cute and brilliant in this role. There’s nothing that can he said about Liu Haoran - for someone who was around 17 when this show was made, his understanding of sadnesses and depression was just brilliant. His eyes said everything. He is such a promising actor that it’s a shame that he’s only been in such few dramas. The other actors were just as impressive and made this show incredibly special.

I think this is one of those rare gems that you come across that makes you reflect on your own life and gives you different insights. I would totally recommend this drama to everyone.