From the start, I knew this drama and I probably weren't going to be a love match, as middle-aged emasculation isn't a theme I typically resonant with, but I was curious enough to give it a try since the ensemble cast is ridiculously solid. It also seemed like a good drama to watch with my mom: we'd just finished Misty and loved it, and Graceful Friends is recommended as a similar show. But boy oh boy, was I wrong! The comparison isn't doing Graceful Friends any favors, especially when considering the writing and lead actress performances side by side.

Everything goes smoothly enough in the beginning. Although their characters are very, very different personalities, the four male leads sell their long-standing friendship flawlessly. In fact, the loose humor and easy camaraderie between the characters of An Goong Cheol, Jung Jae Hoon, Jo Hyung Woo, and Park Choon Bok are by far the strongest parts of this drama, so if you're someone who likes ensemble dramas centered around an unlikely group of friends, then I'd recommend you try Graceful Friends. That's not what I usually go for, but I can definitely understand the appeal of, like, a middle-aged man version of Age of Youth. As we have our pants charmed off by this gang of goofball friends, the show -- gracefully! -- sets up its mysteries and suspenseful secret/conspiracy road signs.

As the story progresses, cracks begin to form. First, the tone of the show becomes discordant: the silly mischievous antics of the friend group, along with the over the top performances by a few of the side characters, becomes too strange against the increasingly dark subject matter of infidelity and murder. Then, the show tries walking the line between melodrama sub-genres; hopping back and forth between "gotcha!" makjang twists and more subtle or sophisticated dialogue, which is reminiscent of a prestige drama. Finally, there's the issue of Song Yoon Ah and her interpretation of the female lead, Nam Jung Hae. Much of the plot rests on this morally ambiguous, professionally-driven and insecure woman, yet it was impossible to discern any depth or complexity in Song Yoon Ah's performance. She's flat, which does nothing to explain how two men have been in love with her for decades nor does it build connection for viewers, particularly those who are already disinclined to lend her sympathy as the secretive wife-villain who low key loathes her son (Speaking of, why doesn't she like her son? Spoiler alert: we never find out!) . The problem worsens as other female characters, like Kim Hye Eun's competent ex-adult film actress and Han Da Gam's effervescent "first love" interloper, come into greater focus. My mom and I found ourselves wanting to see more of them and hoping Goong Cheol would choose Hae Sook.

No matter how precarious and disjointed the middle, my mom and I were still on board. We wanted to solve the story's central mysteries and see resolution for the characters we had grown to care for. Unfortunately, none of that happens, and it's as if the writers just, I don't even know, lost interest? Some of the narrative arcs, which were carefully crafted over the course of the entire show, like the messy ties between Jung Hae and her rival Hae Sook, get waved away by a single conversation (unsatisfactorily, I might add: only one woman expresses remorse and apologizes, while the other, who is arguably more responsible for the pain of their relationship, stays silent). Similarly, the answer to big suspenseful questions, like who caused the professor's death 20 years before, are revealed with all the fanfare of a mild yawn. Central characters die -- or are brought back from the brink of death! -- entirely off screen. The final two episodes devolve into a string of dated plot conveniences, the type that were common in dramas from a decade or two ago, which are meant to keep us watching but don't offer any meaningful resolution.

When we finished this drama, my mom asked me, "What do you think was the message or theme of this show?" and my first thought, which I mentioned at the top, was middle-aged, middle-class male emasculation. Again and again, this show returns to story lines in which the men are cornered into humiliating circumstances, acquiesce to abusive superiors, and/or receive much-needed financial or professional assistance from their more successful wives. Their regular meet ups consist of bemoaning the role they play as put-upon husbands or frustrated employees; their intimate relationships are deeply shaming, whether they're the playboy husband kept by a wealthy older woman, the bread winning partner of a gorgeous young housewife, the emotive youngest son of a conglomerate family, or the do-gooder executive in a lucrative if legally questionable fried chicken franchise. In the starkest example of emasculation fear, one character instructs another to avoid confessing a crime to the police, insisting that he wants to save face as a man and would resent the damage to his reputation as a husband, if the truth were revealed.

What are we supposed to make of all this? It's impossible to say, since by the time the drama can answer that question, the script is in shambles. Unfortunately, one big thing becomes clear: this show is NOT a multi-dimensional exploration of middle-aged emasculation and the strengthened bonds of friendship that see these men through their struggles. Instead, it's a simplified confirmation that yes, these men ARE being emasculated, and, uh, it's wrong, but they "protect what they need to protect AS MEN" by staying close to their man friends. We also get some limp gesturing about how life deepens for people in their forties and a few nonsensical scenes about Goong Cheol and Hyung Woo breaking from their roles as children, by disavowing or clinging to their parent, respectively. Now, call me crazy, but it's impossible to see how Goong Cheol evidences growth or maturity when he rejects his father's profound apology, especially when his father explains that he'd once gone through THE EXACT SAME SITUATION that his son has just experienced.

This isn't a bad show, by any means, but it is a show that squanders its potential in the shallowest way possible. Graceful Friends could've utilized its group of young actors in flashback scenes to add depth to the characters' relationships in the present, but it doesn't. It could've explored how Goong Cheol and Jae Hoon exist as two sides of the same coin, both mild-mannered men who hide their festering rage and capacity for violence, but it doesn't. It could've dove into how the most intense youthful relationships are marked by affection and rivalry in equal measure, but it doesn't. It reduces Jung Hae into villain then victim then tragic idealized first love, without ever bothering to fully examine at her self-loathing or capacity for cunning. It blithely skips by Goong Cheol's maladaptive denial and Hyung Woo's infuriating infantilism. Aside from this obvious waste, the drama introduces and then fails to follow through with its own mysteries, like the dubious parentage of Yoo Bin or the mysterious person who tidies the crime scene, as if it simply doesn't care anymore, and when I realize a script doesn't care about its own narrative, it makes my investment in the show feel pointless. And if I had the choice between a bad show and a show that disrespects my commitment as a viewer, I would prefer the former every time, which is why this not-bad show still earns such a low rating from me.