I don't even know how to describe it but somehow I loved it

I don't usually write reviews but here I go cause I need to express what I just watched. it's deeply unsettling, every part of it is. This movie felt like experiencing some kind of nightmare which I somehow really liked. I was deeply involved and watching the chaos unfold in front of my eyes was an experience that I can't describe properly.

This movie isn't for everyone that's for sure:
- it's violent, but violent in such an overbearing way that it feels almost normal. The actors do an amazing job at executing this violence by the way.
- It's very explicit and it has tw for r***. Like seriously I'm not even that triggered by it usually but it's intense.
- It's dark: themes include: child abuse, r***, murder, prostitution, psychological and physical violence... if you are triggered easily or b y any of these themes don't watch it.
- it's not a happy movie. This is as much as I can say without spoiling but don't expect salvation for any of the characters.
- it's very weird: if you don't like indie films or stuff like that it's not the movie you're looking for.
- it's clearly not a "BL" as some might expect. don't mistake it for a love story.
- none of the characters are good people. Not even the main character, though this can be debated.


BUT truly if none of these points bother you then watch it. The psychology, the plot twists, the emotions... it's amazing seriously. The way it looks at trauma is something I've rarely seen : it's violent (if you don't notice the pattern at this point...) but is there any way to deal with trauma that isn't?

Also: I was very impressed by all of the actors, even the children. They made it feel like I was witnessing some kind of tragedy, like it can sometimes feel in nightmares: you don't control anything, and you can only watch, frozen, as the characters suffer and the story unfolds. Especially the actor for KAI, his performance portrayed KAI as some kind of chaotic free spirit, unpredictable but somehow not? I never knew what to expect from KAI but I also felt like whatever he would do was justified in some sordid insane way (and that was even before the main plot twist). don't know if I'm making any sense right now but let me tell you that KAI's character is the high point of the movie: he manages to be despicable, amazing, scary, vulnerable, somehow childlike, intriguing, sweet...

The ending is not something that I can truly say I liked because... I don't see how anyone would like this outcome but I was strangely at peace with it. It's probably necessary for a nightmare to end this kind of way.

Also the music is damn good: it fits the dreamlike vibe, in a nigthmareish kind of way of course.

Anyways you may think I'm crazy after reading this but the insanity that is this movie probably explains my current state.

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Very sad story that could have been happier

First of all, I really liked it. It was dark but filled with moments that tampered this darkness. The reason why it's still a very sad story is due the MC's inability to... well I don't know if I should say "accept" or "reach" happiness. Of course, his situation is terrible, but what's truly surprising is that characters around him which are in similar or worst situation do manage to find happiness, in one way or another. So, I would say that this movie is also interesting due to its portrayal of depression (if that's what it is).
The best scene of the movie is definitely the dancing scene, it made me very emotional, the acting was on point as the way the MC's eyes constantly follow Long's dancing but become warmer and warmer with time. It felt like he was falling in love in front of our eyes.
I was also impressed by the scene of the dinner he has with his family: though it was awful, I liked how it made me despise the uncle. After witnessing all that Fei went through to make money for his family, I felt like punching the uncle through the screen.
Overall, it's definitely not a happy movie, but that is mostly due to Fei's relation to happiness, it almost feels like he doesn't allow himself to feel it: like he doesn't deserve to. I wish the ending would have been more hopeful, as it feels that Long could really be the answer to Fei's struggle. But, as Long said himself, his love was not truly love. Maybe Fei doesn't know how to love properly anymore.

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Even when knowing what's going to happen... you can't imagine how bad it is.

I seriously felt like I knew what I was getting into but I clearly wasn't. This movie makes you face the worst part of humanity, and doesn't give you a lot of hope. However, I recommend watching it as it will make you realize how much we have to be ready to fight for people who are suffering, because no one else will do it for you.

A few random points I'd like to add:
The actors are brilliant, all of them, children included. It was so heart wrenching to watch such horrible things happen to children so realistically. But the worst part was probably the helplessness of the very few adults willing to help. Even some of them who clearly realized something was wrong still didn't act. It really makes you think a lot about how much bravery and strength is needed to go against the status quo.

This story is important. So important that even if the movie was horrifying to watch, I don't regret it. Because these children suffered so much, no one should ignore them. It's the least we can do since clearly we all failed them.

All in all, it's a movie that makes you think about yourself and about society. It's a movie that puts you face to face with real life monsters, and I'm not only talking about the rapists and abusers, but also about those who choose to let them continue their rampage only for the sake of money or other menial things. I hope anyone who watches this movie will find it in themselves to act against such abuse if they are to witness it in the future.

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