I had to watch this film. I just had to, even though I knew it would break my heart watching it. Which I was correct, but it's still worth watching!

So the film takes place once martial law has officially ended in Taiwan. However, that doesn't mean that there weren't lasting impacts from the martial law. As well as some people wanting to maintain that way of living. That was interesting to see. We get our main character Jia-Han and Birdy, whom are both equally enjoyable to watch. Those characters are really well represented in their youth and I gotta give props to the actors!

We get to see an lgbtq persons first sexual experiences and first time falling in love. There's a scene early on where Jia-Han mentions when him and Birdy are cracking food that it sounds like heartbeats. Right there I was like, oh boy he got it BAD! The chemistry between these two actors was so freaking solid. They made me laugh and smile seeing their interactions. Theres a scene in the film where they go in a screening room and that whole interaction was so wholesome and lovely. Perfectly shows youth and wanting to just maintain innocence in such a rough time.

There's a brief showing of a man advocating for equal rights and gay marriage. Stating "homosexuality is not a sickness" that broke my heart. He gets taken away and Birdy actually tries sticking up for him, which isn't the first time he's seen standing up for an lgbtq person. That didn't necessarily mean he was gay himself, however those moments had me start to think he was. Birdy says "fools rush in where angels fear to tread" clearly referencing himself and Jia-Han.

So where this film shines the most is actually in the scenes between Jia-Han and the father. Those scenes had me tearing up all throughout. Jia-Han is trying so desperately to explain that he has love in his heart for Birdy, not just lust. Asing "is your love bigger than the one I give?" and what the difference is. Even saying maybe he'll be more understood in hell. Those are where the film feels the realest in a sense. Once him and Birdy do end up having some type of physical intimacy, its done so in a way of validation. Jia-Han wasn't forcing his affections onto Birdy, they were already there as shown when Birdy kisses him and then cries. Love is shown in many ways, not just the physical. Even when Jia-Han tries to take the blame for Birdy's "love affair" on campus. That's love. Or admits in front of his parents that he's gay and "what's wrong with being queer?" Powerful stuff dude.

Random side note. I saw Chris Wu in this for literally a second and KNEW it was him lol. I would know the side of his face anywhere!!! Moving on, let's get into the non-plot stuff. The use of red and green in this film was really nice, very striking in some scenes. The scene with the openly gay student talking to Jia-Han was really well shot, especially with the stained glass dove mural behind them. Dove's are used quite a bit in this film, probably as both a symbolic symbol but also for peace. It also just so happens that Birdy jumps from the balcony right after that scene. Like a dove. There's great use of rack focus in many scenes that I loved. The orchestral music with the brass instruments pulls at the heartstrings. Also later on when Jia-Han runs away to the beach, he screams into the void and then ends up swimming naked in the ocean with Birdy. This was great because it doesn't end up in anything sexual. It's just pure and free, they kiss and that's it. Still maintaining the theme of love and lust are seperate, and sometimes go hand-in-hand.

So...the ending. I'm conflicted. The scene with Jia-Han and Birdy on the phone was fantastic. Really well done. However, any scene with the older actors got iffy for me. The acting wasn't as good overall at the end. It felt too displaced from the rest of the film. I appreciate having it show how far the world has come in current day, but it didn't need to be that long. Jia-Han and Birdy are kinda implied to be given a second chance, which is nice but its up to interpretation. I'd like to think they remain friends, because the romance has died off. Also having the father ending up being gay himself felt kinda stretching it. It was the whole cliche of "not wanting the same for another person what he went through" thought process. I believe this movie is the directors real life story, so I can't really say it was unbelievable if that's the case. However, film-wise it would've been better to just have him become accepting overall towards Jia-Han. Because all he really needed was acceptance.

Overall, such an important movie. It's the first lgbtq film to be screened in Taiwanese theatres. Gained so much money and acclaim. Things keep changing for the better and I as a queer person always appreciate and feel strongly about films released like this. They hit me deeply and I will always support them. Watch this film and spread the word! Love isn't just one type of way