I needed a few days to sit with my emotions before I could talk about the absolutely tragic series of events that led to the present situation: me, mourning the cancelation of an 8-year-old show!
So, in case you are reading this from the future, this is from the summer of 2024 when the book "Are You Addicted?" received its third adaptation into a BL drama; this time the attempt is by Thailand. I had heard about the first adaptation aka the present title) but I was told that the show was: 1) Bad. 2) Heavily censored and canceled before it even ended.
So I naturally never even considered watching it but with the new adaptation coming out, I became intrigued and decided to check out the new adaptation. But for *reasons* I ended up sort of hesitant in approaching the series, and as it continued to air, I saw fans of the previous adaptations complain about the quality almost non-stop. So between my new-found interest and the complaints and other reasons...I finally took the bait and watched this one, instead.
Reader, I was not ready. *ugly crying*
First of all, a big flipping-bird to the misleading masses who said this was bad! I went into this expecting it to look and behave like some cheap, homemade p*rn video, with terrible acting, bad lighting, overall abysmal production, and little to no comprehensible plot. That's not it at all!!!!! This is a proper show. And let me just burn all the bridges right here and say that a low-budget, first-project, basically-put-together-with-glue-and-determination-of-the-crew Cdrama is STILL miles better than a high-budget, well-supported Thai drama. What goes on over there?!
Anyway...
Yes, the show looks very cheap. The lighting in some scenes is pretty bad too and that does unfortunate things to the also very humble make-up work BUT the show makes up for all its shortcomings with amazing acting, a great script that follows the book to a T (well...the little bit of the book that I read), and sincerity.
This is perhaps the best that one could expect from a Cdrama, when it comes to a faithful adaptation of a heavily explicit gay romance (and also just an overall great adaptation in other regards too, actually). They clearly cut the parts that needed higher budgeting but the dialogue is almost verbatim from the book. Each event is followed so closely that it's almost uncanny! I really appreciate the fact that they didn't turn the adaptation into a farce just because they had no money. Like, I love me some (no, I don't) Go Princess Go type of absurdist, camp adaptation that makes a mockery of both itself and the source material (I have no idea how that show worked out but it only just barely got away with its bs) but it's just something else when the show has a low budget but they maintain their dignity enough to treat it seriously and do the best to make the finished project a respectable, acceptable product.
I was won over by the sincerity of this project more than its weird-ass plot (it's really weird), or its salacious romantic scenes (idk if some people's boat floats that way but honestly? I was not wooed. Like, never would I think "oh yes baby, throw me against the wall like that..." but we will get to that part later...). What stands out in this show is how every single person present on the screen and also every single person working behind the scenes was totally committed to making it work. And it worked. (Kinda like Untamed but if Untamed was, like, REALLY broke.)
Both shows had a lot of heart and they did all the technical things as correctly as they could to make the show work. I respect that. I LOVED that.
Now, the other thing that worked? The acting. Holy Meow! I genuinely thought I was going to deal with abysmal acting. Like constipated faces, vague statue-like expressions, and maybe a bit of self-effacing embarrassed acting. I thought they would just be trying hard but looking awkward...Reader, there was none of that! I am an instant fan of these boys. In fact, I am emotionally attached to these young actors who put their careers and futures on the line and then committed 100% to the characters they were given and acted the pants off of them! These characters feel more real than 90% of what you see in Cdramas and maybe 50% of Kdramas too, actually (100% more realistic than those you see in Thai dramas, and the numbers are out for Jdramas 'cause they swing back and forth between silly anime acting and proper acting, idk). These felt like real boys. And it really helped that the voices were recorded on set and thank goodness that the guys were so good at talking and following the script. They felt raw. Real. Human. And it's ironic because a lot of their behavior makes 0 sense. Like, any and all characters could be in jail or mental hospital, if they pulled one of the many shenanigans they pull in real life but somehow because the actors are such great actors, they made it work. So you see the most bizarre thing on screen and you can actually can comprehend why this very real human boy would do that action in that moment. Even if out of context, two seconds away from the screen, it would cease to make sense. I am so impressed by Johnny Huang and Timmy Xu. Too impressed. I don't know. I'm a little speechless (Shocking, I know. I've been blabbering nonstop but I really want to say more but feel like words are failing me) They were so raw, guys...They just did so well and I think the supporting cast did very well too. I would only say maybe one or two actors are weird or gimmicky but thankfully by the time they show up, the romance brainrot has taken over both the viewers and the two main leads so we literally do not care. Like, all we want is for the pesky supporting cast to leave so they can...wrestle a bit more. I wish the best for the actors. They did too much. They literally were too good in their chemistry, it got the show canceled! *ugly crying* But that's the price we all paid for excellence, I guess. (Ok, I'm talking it up but this was their first project and it was risqué and controversial and demanding and they both did so well. I feel like they deserve the confidence boost)
Music-wise...they use such beautiful classical pieces..with literally no context. There would be a jig while the characters are crying! It made no sense. Whoever did the background music work must've just put their Spotify on shuffle. The only music choice that works is this one scene in episode 15...which was unfortunately too explicit and the whole scene was cut and it's a very unfortunate situation...yikes!
Plot summary: Gu Hai's dad is marrying his mistress and Gu Hai is super bitter about it. The stepmother in question has a son and when it's suggested that the 4 of them should all live together, Gu Hai finds this to be too much and bolts from the house. He's a rich boy so he goes across town and lives alone in his loft apartment and attends a new school where he meets Bai Luo Yin. Love knows no reason and also has one brain cell, apparently. Because Gu Hai is immediately 150% obsessed and he also has the social skills of an octopus in a dog's body so he expresses his feelings as eloquently as that and I don't know what to tell you! It's just that! Oh! And Bai Luo Yin is THE stepmother's son! lol
Negatives: I'm just gonna say it straight up. This show has r@pe. A lot of it. In fact, the concept of consent is extremely murky and undefined in this narrative. And I could sugarcoat it and come up with excuses....it's r@pe. Okay? And I know why it's in there...it's plausible deniability. As long as it's not two-sided, you can get away with showing some sexy action, and yes...the ONE time the show had consensual, two-sided, enthusiastic (well, actually...one was drunk still, yikes, so not 100% consensual but we are beggars, and the show literally gives us no choice, so...) the show got canceled for it. -_-
Yes, reader...you read that right *ugly crying* This show was Icarus! It flew too close to the sun!!!!! And it was burned to a crisp, I tell you! *ugly crying* We were left hanging in the middle of the air! Never to fly, never to fall, just levitating, wondering how it could've ended! *ugly crying* Woe is me! What is this tragic nonsense?! We're in the 21st-century, ffs!!!!
Anyway, the show has weird romantic dynamics. You know it's supposed to be slightly more consensual than what we see because at a high point, the character's argument is "Stop! My dad could see you from right there" So like...if he was bothered, he could literally scream for his dad to come save him from the octopus-man but no, he's just worried they would get discovered. Which is not great but I guess it's a bit of consolation. STILL, if you can't handle SA, don't watch it! It will upset you. I was fine because I don't necessarily assume the situation I am watching is supposed to be morally appropriate and because I don't have that expectation from my lead characters, I can still enjoy a show even if the mains are terrible people who do terrible things. But if you feel uncomfortable by that or it might trigger you, be kind to yourself and don't put yourself through it...or I guess you can skip? But at some point, you would just be skipping the whole show.
Overall: Reader, it was love at definitely-not first sight. It took a few episodes for me to warm up to this but just like how Gu Hai becomes this obsessive mess, I too, eventually became an obsessive mess when watching this show. It was just a good, though not high quality, show that captures your heart with its sincere heart and then just as you are freefalling into its rabbit hole, it ends on an inconclusive note. An unfinished sentence. We will never know how this was meant to end and that's heartbreaking. But the fact that the cast and crew paid the ultimate price and were either banned, imprisoned, or forbidden from working takes the tragedy from a 10 to a hundred. It's in respect to the sacrifice they made that I think it's good to see so many love this work and keep its legacy alive. If you prefer a more family-friendly version of this plot, Stay With me, the second adaptation of the book is also available. The Thai one has its own issues...I'm not gonna tell you, go find out about it yourself. But if you can handle the controversial bits, this show is so worth the heartbreak. Yes, the heartbreak. You will be heartbroken but you will also be thankful for it. It's all gain and all loss.
P.S. (because I didn't talk enough): One thing I love about this show is how both characters are such macho men. They're like...big, manly man types! Which is very rare in BL? I have never seen it like this, to be honest. And it was just so refreshing! I don't know, I liked how they were both big, strong men who could punch each other and cause actual damage! hehe he he he...I don't know, I guess we all have issues?!