The Calamari Wrestler (2004)

"It will be a tasty fight!"

This is the third film I’ve watched by screenwriter Migita Masakazu and as the old saying goes, “The third time is the charm!” I wasn’t overly impressed with Monster Seafood Wars or Death Kappa. The Calamari Wrestler, however, was a strange and joyful movie about a professional wrestler who had suffered from a terminal illness and miraculously transformed into a giant squid. Could Kanichi regain his title and get his girl back? Let’s get kraken on this review!

Professional wrestler, Taguchi, had always been in Iwata Kanichi's shadow until the day Iwata disappeared after being diagnosed with a terminal illness. Three years later Taguchi is the top wrestler and has Iwata’s girl. After winning the championship, a man-sized squid climbs in the ring and snatches the championship belt. It was on like Donkey Kong and the Calamari Wrestler quickly defeated his two-legged foe. Embarrassed at being beaten by a seafood wrestler, Taguchi wanted a re-match and the Calamari wrestler was all for it. The promoters weren’t as thrilled when Calamari refused to throw the next fight.

The first thing that became apparent was that in the land of Gojira and other assorted kaiju, everyone was unperturbed by a dude who had turned into a cephalopod and who didn’t have to stay in water. I squid you not. Calamari shopped at the markets with no one running for their lives. In fact, when the fight was called off, the people rallied around him and pressured the promoters to schedule him a fight with Taguchi. Kanichi’s old girlfriend, Miyako, decided she was still in love with him regardless of his tentacles or maybe because of them. A whole sub-genre of manga came to life (without any gratuitous scenes).

There was an effort at social commentary in this squidiculous film. The promoter believed Calamari represented the chaos of the world and when Taguchi defeated him, it would alleviate public anxiety. Gradually, the public convinced him that by letting Calamari into the ring it showed that a world without prejudice could exist. The people just wanted to see exciting fights regardless of how many legs the opponents had. And soon there were other seafood wrestlers joining Kanichi in the ring.

This felt like a Rocky movie if Rocky was a squid and instead of boxing it was pro-wrestling. Coinsquidentally, Calamari had a Rocky moment right after his fight. There was even a training montage! All of the characters showed their devotion and love for pro wrestling. The film also highlighted the less savory side of the sport, I mean show, with the promoters working every which way to make a buck off the wrestlers and the fan’s desire to see blood in the ring. The special effects were almost nil. You could sea the human legs below the tentacles and squid costume which was actually part of the film’s charm.

Calamari Wrestler wasn’t inkredible but it was entertaining with gentle humor, as gentle as a reverse suplex or powerbomb. The wrestling scenes were hilarious and the final fight had a reveal I didn’t see coming. Normal issues such as love, greed, and national pride played out behind the tentacles and ink. If you enjoy absurd movies and don’t need a pesky thing like logic, this might be one to try.

1 October 2024

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