Uchuu Kaisokusen (1961)

Six boys are all that stand between Earth and annihilation!

Not long ago I read that Invasion of the Neptune Men was one of the worst films ever made. Man, whoever wrote that has not seen very many films. Actually, there is a dubbed, shortened version that was shown on Mystery Science Theater which seemed to be the one most reviewers had watched. Now the subbed version is no award winner, but for a children’s movie it was watchable. People hoping to see Sonny “Street Fighter” Chiba will also be disappointed. This was early in his career when he was around 22. The film was bonkers funny with aliens in bullet shaped welders’ helmets and Sonny driving a car/fighter plane/spaceship that squealed tires on grass. This film focused on 6 young school boys and may or may not have been a figment of their imagination.

Six school boys who hero worship scientist Dr. Tachibana are out looking for satellites with their telescope. Given that it’s daytime, you’d think they wouldn’t have much luck. Ah, but luck favors the prepared for a spaceship lands not far from them. Completely unafraid they check the ship out and are soon surrounded by aliens! Luck smiled on them again when superhero Iron Sharp comes to their rescue and puts a karate beatdown on the interlopers. The aliens initially attempted to start WWIII by causing suspicion between countries. At first no one believes the boys but the aliens from Neptune soon make their nefarious plot to take over the world known!

Despite obviously being a film aimed at children there were some disturbing images. The aliens blew up a nuclear reactor creating a mushroom cloud that had to invoke terrible memories for some original audience goers. There were several deaths as well. But when the aliens blew up the Hitler Building I was ready to reassess my opinion of them. Maybe they were just misunderstood? Then they went on to blow up buildings everywhere and took aim at those meddling kids. The events might have been in the boys’ imagination for two different reasons. The boys were allowed into every building and secure location, usually the first to come into contact with the Neptunians. Iron Sharp knew when they needed him and showed up with his vehicle armed with laser weapons. He also happened to be the hero the boys had dreamed up. Or maybe the scientists and military just had really, really bad security and Iron Sharp was omniscient.

If you are looking for captivating entertainment, this is not it. However, it's also not the worst movie ever made. Invasion of the Neptune Men could have used more menacing aliens and more competent adults, but for 70 minutes there was plenty of spaceship action and things being blown up. Robby the Robot even made a quick cameo. I’d void the truncated, dubbed version in favor of the subbed original if you decide to watch it. (Graded on a curve)

25 October 2024

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