Midnight Swan (2020)

Totally had me enthralled 2/3 of the way, then everything got weird and discombobulated.

LOTS OF SPOILERS AHEAD. DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE STORY.

(I wrote this as a message reply to an MDL friend who recommended the film to me.)

Anyway, you're probably going to hate me, but I just finished Midnight Swan and so this is my immediate, off-the-top-of-my-head reaction: I loved it and was totally with it, deeply moved, until near the end when, for me, things went off the rails. Of course I hated Ichika's bio mom for showing up and dragging her back to the sticks, away from Nagisa and ballet. But given how horribly Ichika had been treated and raised, how she had been psychologically/emotionally abused almost to the point of being a mute and was regularly biting herself as a form of self-harm as a result, by that horrid bitch of a mother, why would she NOT go back to Tokyo with Nagisa when she came to get her? I don't buy that she had some latent streak of affection for her mother; that was not established at all in the beginning. Nagisa treated her like a human being, saw her potential as a person and a dancer and made huge sacrifices to support that, and then the girl goes back and stays with the mom? I think she would have run after Nagisa as she started to do after that horrible scene at the grandmother's house.

Other odd things: How in the world would Nagisa get and keep a warehouse job lifting heavy boxes when she was clearly unable to do the job physically? You keep on a worker who can't lift the boxes that need to be lifted?
Why not a job as a secretary, restaurant hostess, data entry, any one of a hundred other jobs that make more sense. That came off to me as being a deliberate plot device to make her seem extra-sacrificial and pathetic on Ichika's behalf and I didn't buy it.
When Ichika froze up on stage, which I don't understand either, why was it that lousy mom and not Nagisa who ran up there to comfort and stabilize her?
Why in god's name would a hospital and doctor that performed what appeared to be a first-rate medical procedure to give Nagisa female genitalia then leave her to bleed, shit and piss into a diaper at home alone most of the time? Hospitals keep patients for WEEKS after that kind of major-league surgery, and here she is rotting away at home, barely able to speak and apparently...blind?
How do you go blind from complications of a sex-change operation? Some kind of infection?
Nagisa said, when Ichika showed up, that she "hadn't been taking good care of herself" or something like that. Well, why the hell not? You spend all that money to get the operation you've wanted for decades and then you don't care for yourself properly? Was she passively suicidal? Why go through the surgery and THEN let yourself die? Why not just end things like Rin did?
Worst thing of all: Why in the hell would Nagisa, who I have no doubt loved Ichika deeply, purposely drag the poor girl out to the beach, force her to stay there as Nagisa began to die and Ichika begged her to let her take her back to the hospital? Seriously, that is a wtf? for me. So Ichika ends up at the beach with the dead body of her beloved Nagisa, who just allowed herself to die rather than save herself, get well and enjoy the rest of her life as a woman and in support of Ichika's dance career? So Ichika has to call the police or whatever, and deal with the horrible aftermath of that...talk about traumatizing someone. First Ichika's mom did a number on her, and then Nagisa tries to top that with a grotesque and selfish act of suicide right in Ichika's face.

I would say for about two/thirds of the movie, I was loving it and then it lost me.
Things I LOVED:
ALL of the acting across the board. I didn't sense a false note from anyone. The actor playing Nagisa was extraordinary in countless ways. His sorrow and horror at having been born into a wrong body was made so palpable and real that I lost it during that scene. Ichika was amazing as well. Her evolution was so gradual and believable, with fits and starts, not some fairy-tale, sudden change that instantly made her a different person. And of course her dancing...omg. SO beautiful. I want to read up on how she was cast. She has to have already been a dancer, surely. I can't imagine she got to that level just by training for the part in this movie.
All of the trans and gay characters at the nightclub were one hundred percent believable and relatable. None of them seemed like a cliche; they were real individuals.

AND HOLY SHIT...Rin's suicide. I feel like a psycho saying this, but that scene was spectacular. I got worried about her being up on a rooftop because of her mood already before she started dancing...and then as she kept going and then got up on that box...my sense of panic at the inevitable just kept building and building even as I kept hoping I was wrong about what was going to happen or maybe she would change her mind. But then she just went over the railing and sailed into oblivion. Strangely, the horror of that moment was made more powerful by the fact that the scene cut there, with no reaction from the assembled wedding guests included. One thing's for sure, that newly married couple will never forget the day they were married.

So obviously this movie got to me in a lot of ways and I'm glad I watched it and I thank you for the suggestion, but the last third just lost me and rubbed me the wrong way. I do NOT think all gay flicks have to end happily, but here I just saw people making all kinds of horrible choices that don't make sense to me, so that the ending could be tragic. So unlike you, my friend, I didn't shed one tear...and I cry pretty easily.

Fascinating how different audience members receive and react to the same material in vastly different ways

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wished for a "happy ending" - jokes on me. if Close-Knit left me sad idk what i feel now, just know i'ma carry this depressed feeling for a while. this aint for the faint hearted. this was a rude awakening, considering i was looking forward to something along the lines of Close-Knit - which in comparison is light and has more positive heartwarming scenes - this is gritty, dark and raw from start to finish (which ironically is positive - kinda). even if there were light spots, they were overshadow by the melancholy character's.

must admit didn't like Nagisa at first, got that she was suffering too much, to notice the other's pain, let alone help. that's why their first meeting wasn't heartwarming. and even made me hate Nagisa, cause Ichika was a blameless, defenseless victim that wasn't any better off then Nagisa - she for sure didn't deserved the treatment she got from her. so thinking that she would find a safe-haven with him/her and seeing how abrasive Nagisa was towards an abused child was angering. even their getting closer wasn't a slow burn, it was stagnant - the breaking point where Nagisa "got" that Ichika was a kindred soul, suffering as she was, was after the whole "private room" incident - outing the fact Ichika was doing it so she could afford the dance lessons. Nagisa seeing her break-down and self-hurting, bringing home that just cause she looks fine doesn't mean that she is. that broke down the wall Nagisa built around her heart.

the rest sadly goes from bad to worse - cause Nagisa thinks she needs to change (physically) in order to be a worth parent - while Ichika doesn't care - she just needs to be loved and cared for. if this point would've been driven home, maybe Nagisa wouldn't have done what she did - letting things spiral downwards to that sad freakin end.

wont say this was perfect as there were bits that i didn't get cause Ichika's character relied a lot on facial expression's - well not even that, so guessing when there was no dialogue or even facial expression's from her - ur left wondering what does it really mean. and not even go to mention Rin, another poor soul aish this movie did my heart in ? great acting and story but aish a one off

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