This review may contain spoilers
Never underestimate a kung fu zombie!
Seven Men of Kung Fu had an impressive cast stuck in an unimpressive and bizarre story. Director and writer Cheung Hang only made 4 movies and that was probably 4 too many if this movie is any indication.Seven Men of Kung Fu was a confusing, horrendously edited movie. It's the old Mings rebelling against the Chings but with characters, plot, and motivations thrown into a blender. Characters appeared and disappeared, plot elements appeared and disappeared, and some people were at odds but their reasons were never explained. Just to make it more bonkers, Doris Lung and a kung fu zombie, presumably caught in a time loop because they came slowly over the same hill about ten times randomly during the movie with no explanation until the final scene. I cannot express how badly this story was written and filmed.
Old school Chang Yi was the Big Bad complete with a flame red wig and large white owl-like eyebrows. He was the Emperor's Supreme Constable and seemingly unstoppable, tasked with bringing in the murderers of some raping tax collectors. Chang Fu Chien starred as the Ming rebel leader. They never made it clear whether he was gathering men to fight the Chings or if they spontaneously began to gather. Often cast as baddies, Lo Lieh, Chen Sing and Phillip Ko sort of joined his ranks even though they didn't fight as a group. Characters were introduced and then never seen again or briefly during a brawl with the Prince's elite fighting corp. Random fight scenes came out of nowhere. We were shown a minion who could hang from the ceiling by his hair only to never see him again. Pretty sure one guy was killed twice.
While most of the good guys are shown suddenly fighting in town, Chen Sing is shown running and running and running. You know it was him because his shirt was open, he never missed a chance to take his shirt off in these old movies. Lo Lieh came riding into a town on a horse smaller than he was after the dust settled. All while they showed Doris and her zombie coming over that same hill-again. Have I mentioned this movie was bizarre?
The body count was high in this one. And I cannot express how weird the ending was. As of the writing of this review, I've watched over 150 kung fu movies and this had the strangest ending I've ever seen. Let's just say Doris and the zombie finally showed up and randomly figured in to it. I use the word random a lot because so much of this movie was random.
The fight scenes utilized trampolines, cartwheels, and wires quite a bit. Some of the fights bordered on kung fu posing, while others, especially the one with Chen Sing moved faster. An early fight with Lo Lieh combating a bunch of Ching policeman was amusing as he took them out and the chief officer ran a tally of his offenses and his "bill" as the fighting raged on.
This was a cheap Taiwanese movie, much of it being filmed outdoors. The film itself was badly degraded and faded. At least this version hadn't been cropped on the sides so much of the action was viewable.
Seven Men, a Couple of Women, and a Zombie is only for hard core kung fu fans as it was poorly made and at times incomprehensible. But for those few hard core fans the ending is worth watching because it was unique.
9/6/22
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