"I am through with hell"
When I heard there was a movie called Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo I could not wait to watch it! The fall was long and hard when I realized that the title was false advertising. Mifune Toshiro was in the movie playing a feckless samurai, but nothing like the cagey Yojimbo. Despite a few hints thrown out about the Kurosawa film, this samurai had a name, Sasa. I wouldn’t have been nearly as disappointed if they’d just titled it Zatoichi and the Two-Bit Samurai.Zatoichi is tired of the blood and decides to return to his hometown with the babbling brook and plum blossoms he talks about at length. It doesn’t take long before he realizes the town is under new management. Two years ago during a terrible famine, other villages heard about the town’s food reserves and attacked. The local leader hired the yakuza to come in, and just like vampires, once you invite them in you can’t get rid of them. After lots of hemming and hawing, Zatoichi decides to stay in town and begins work as the Big Bad Eboshiya’s masseuse/bodyguard. Across town Sasa has been hired by the Big Bad’s son to be his bodyguard. Sasa mostly drinks, sleeps, and cons Masagoro out of coins for strategic information. The blind swordsman and the samurai get on each other’s bad sides, more so because of the comely Umeno than whatever is going on in with the yakuza family. Long story short, everyone wants to know where some hidden gold is.
If they’d given Zatoichi and Sasa a bromance this might have been a fun movie. They couldn’t make Mifune a real bad guy because no one was going to believe Zatoichi could take him down. Bad enough they made Sasa greedy and lazy, and not as smart as Zatoichi. Again, it goes back to the title, because during the whole movie, it was impossible to not compare Sasa and Yojimbo.
The fights didn’t really start until the final third of the film. Another demerit for me. You have two of the greatest swordsmen in the land and they sit around talking and drinking? A new threat, named Kuzurya, waltzes into town with a connection to Sasa and starts eliminating people left and right. The double crosses and corruption were hip deep in the tangled plot line which was needlessly confusing. At nearly two hours with not nearly enough action, the plot became repetitive and dragged. The swordfight choreography was fairly lackluster as well, despite the high body count.
Zatoichi came to town and did his good deed, but even he was hit by gold fever. Whether Sasa or Yojimbo, the character was still played by Mifune Toshiro which gave ample opportunities that seemed to have been missed for a more exciting film. Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo had moments that were entertaining, but it could have been so much more.
1 March 2024
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