Why We (Love To) Cry

Recently I saw a post from someone who asked for drama recommendations because this person really wanted to cry. Sounds weird at first but then I also started to recommend some dramas. That was the inspiration for this article. From time to time, most of Asian drama fans crave for a heartbreaking story for different reasons. I use Gu Family Book as an example to explain what I figured out:

*Beware major spoilers !!*

Farewell Tears

Farewell Tears are the most cried tears in the world. So if one of the most beloved characters die in the arms of the Love of her life most fans feel the pain directly in their own heart. They cry for the couple which gets separated, cry because it is unfair, cry because they will never see the character again and cry for everything that will not be. Why the heck would someone want this?

According to an article in cinematherapy.com “Sad movies allow us to confront very real and deeply sad feelings in a safe and protected environment. They allow us to confront real issues by experiencing ‘reality’ at a safe distance on the screen.” As a result of this behaviour, watchers feel relieved after letting out the emotions even if it is not the reason why they were stressed out before “because our emotional responses feel real.” So a heartbreaking drama can be used as an outlet for suppressed emotions.

Emotional Connection/ Mirror Tears

One of the (for me) saddest scenes in the drama was this: Wol Ryung was sitting on the floor in the library surrounded by black bubbles. He looked sad and lost while he said: “I only want to be with Seo Hwa.” This scene is not that emotional for everyone but for some Wol Ryung fans it was. How come?

It is the fault of mirror neurons. According to a research platform these nerve cells make human beings into emphatic creatures. The person doesn’t have to experience the sad situation him-/herself, it is enough to see how the other person suffers. Depending on how sensitive a person is or how deep the person feels the emotional connection to the character the more extreme is the reaction of the mirror neurons. So the fan cries because he expresses his pain so well or because it is him who suffers.

Value Tears

Even if a lot of fans didn’t like Park Chung Jo and criticize her behaviour, in the end, most watchers find themselves tear up for her. She loses basically everything. Her parents die, her brother let her down, she gets raped and ends as a Gisaeng. Besides no one deserves such a fate, why does someone cry for a girl he/she totally doesn’t like?

“Although it may appear counterintuitive, the emotional connection that’s triggered by tragedies allows the viewers to appreciate the close relationships in their own lives.” [psychcentral.com] In other words the drama fans transfer the situation on their surrounding and realize for example how sad they would be if they lose their father and how happy they are that their brother is always by their side.

Reminding Tears

Sometimes at least I tear up when I feel so touched by a situation. In Gu Family Book, there was a dinner scene when Kang Chi realizes that he is not alone. Even if they are not blood-related he has a family. These tears are not just happiness.

Actually, this scene reminded me of my own close friends and when they gave me a feeling of home. So the scene only brought back my own real emotions of an experienced moment and made me tear up with happiness.

Tears of Happiness

“Next time I will recognize you first… next time I will love you first” – Kang Chi's last word for Yeo Wool made a lot of fans cry. It was unfair, frustrating and heartbreaking. And most of this crying fans teared up again when he repeats those words for her when he meets her reincarnation after 400 years. But it is a happy ending why are the tears falling?

According to a Dutch psychologist, happy tears are an expression of being powerless and helpless. The emotions are so strong that people are overwhelmed and start to cry. Again because the watcher is not involved in reality, every doubt or eventuality doesn’t matter because there is only this particular situation and it is the ending of the story. So they can’t be helped but being simply and purely happy at a higher level than usual.

What do you think?

Do you like sad dramas?

Which kind of drama situation makes you cry?