There are some costume cdramas that have the theme:

  • Journey of Flower : ml punishing fl (as master disciple) using 81 throwing blades, 100 swords flesh piercings, and finally sword stabbing fatally in the end. The ml was in regret and waiting for fl reincarnation to redeem.  Ml never apologized to fl.
  • Ashes of Love : ml punishing fl by turning her magically into objects and animals, bullying her. After  his phoenix ressurection and breaking up  he continuosly hurting her by words and behaviors, until he accidentally hit her fatally by his power in a war (actually it was also the fl sacrifice ). The ml was in regret and waiting for her long reincarnation to redeem. Ml apologized to fl.
  • The Eternal Love, Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms : ml punishing fl by removing her  eyesight and three years lightning strikes (eventhough he took the lightning punishment himsef for her) for the accused mistake she never did, abandoning her that lead to her sacrificial suicide. The ml was in regret and waiting for her long reincarnation to redeem. Ml indirectly  apologized to fl.
  • Oh My Sweet Liar : ml punishing fl by driving  her out  of the house .  But there was scene in fl imagination that the ml punishing her with  whips. The  ml was in regret  and apologized  to fl.
  • Dr  Cutie : ml punishing  her by canning/flogging,  finger crushing, kneeling at the yard day  and  night and rain before collapsing (she was still undercovered as a man).  After knowing her identity the ml loved and married her. He never apologized
  • My Awesome Mrs Right : ml punishing fl by public flogging, banishing from the house. He later stabbed her fatally because of misunderstanding. The ml was in regret and waiting for her  reincarnation to redeem. Ml apologized to fl.
  • Legend of Yunxi : ml punishing fl by driving her out of the house, divorcing her, bullying her with words, house arrest in meihai because of hidden safety reasoning. The ml was in regret after her sacrifice to save him from poisoning. They were reunited after he accidentally found her alive three years later. Ml indirectly apologized to fl.
  • Novoland the Castle in the Sky season 1 : ml punishing fl by public flogging/whips. Th ml was later in love with her. Ml never apologized to her.
  • Goodbye my Princess : ml punishing fl by cheating and lying to her, murdering her relatives, forced seeing the calamity, recapturing her from many attemps of escape, abandoning her, being cold/harsh to her, house arrest because of untold safety reason and finally leading to her sacrificial suicide. Ml was in regret for life. Ml never had a chance to apologize to fl.
  • King's woman : ml punishing fl by flogging in prison, being cold/harsh to her, murdering her relatives and finally stabbed her in a fake fight. Ml never apologized. 
  • Sleepless Princess :  ml punishing fl with being cold, making her as an arrow target, interrogating her in the dungeon, divorcing her (by Emperor's order). He was in regret and waiting for her to wake up. He later remarried to her in the bonus episodes. Ml apologized to her.
  • Miss Truth : ml punishing fl by chaining her as captive, bulliying her, flogging (this one by emperor's order), divorcing her, humiliating her. He was in regret and reunited later after a year persumably by emperor's pardon. Ml indirectly apologized to fl
  • Legend of Dragon Pearl : ml punishing fl with hand canning, room cage. He was in regret after she was lost. Ml never apologized
  • Unique Lady season 1 :  ml punishing fl as a maid in his mansion, being cold and harsh to her, betraying her and divorcing her. He was in regret and looking for the fl. Ml apologized to fl
  • Unique Lady season 2 : ml punishing fl with degrading her status, betraying her, lying to her, banishing her from the mansion. He was in regret and looking for the fl. Ml apologized to fl.
  • The Love Last Two Minds : ml punishing fl by erasing her memory,  betraying her, lying to her. He was in regret and looking for the fl. Ml apologized to fl.
  • Cinderella Chef : ml punishing fl by light canning when she was improper in lady's attire (going undercover), dagger stabbing to create six holes in the body and leaving her a day an night tied outside (by village tribe chief's order), betraying her, lying to her. Ml was in regret and looking for the fl. Ml apologized to fl.
  • The Romance of Hua Rong : ml punishing fl by canning, tied outside for three days in sun exposure and cold night until collapsing (the fl still in the male attire undercover), betraying her, divorcing her, lying to her, being cold and harsh (because of untold safety reason). He was in regret and looking for and saving the fl. Ml indirectly apologized to her.
  • A Girl Like Me : ml punishing fl with humiliation, betraying her, threatening her, using her relatives as baits to suffer, lying to her in many occassions, shoot her with an arrow,  He easily apologized to fl many times, but with his personality, he would do those things again if the situation demand in the name of safety as his thought. Not sincere regret.
  • I will add more later

If you wanna see some bat shit crazy Male Lead abusing/harming Female Lead, there is literally a tag with "Abusive Male Lead". You can also go and watch almost any Thai Lakorn where the tag "Nice Male Lead" is missing.
If you are up for it, I can make you a more detailed list like Aisha Gresee did (but with Lakorn).
I could also include how reluctand FL was to forgive the ass, some FLs in Lakorn world develop straight up Stockholm Syndrome and fall for the guy or forgive him without an apology, that shit is not enjoyable to watch, at all. x.x RIP

 Jen:

If you wanna see some bat shit crazy Male Lead abusing/harming Female Lead, there is literally a tag with "Abusive Male Lead". You can also go and watch almost any Thai Lakorn where the tag "Nice Male Lead" is missing.
If you are up for it, I can make you a more detailed list like Aisha Gresee did (but with Lakorn).
I could also include how reluctand FL was to forgive the ass, some FLs in Lakorn world develop straight up Stockholm Syndrome and fall for the guy or forgive him without an apology, that shit is not enjoyable to watch, at all. x.x RIP

I dont want an abusive male nor do I want the female lead to forgive home quit the opposite I want her to give him a hard time for his mistakes  plus I dont like abusive male lead I just things like breaking up with her ,divorce, hurting her bec a misunderstanding not abusiveness (these kind of male leads should burn in hell ) I like seeing couples go through ups and downs and actually admit their mistake and apologise properly ( I absolutely love it when he does his best to make it up to her in action not just words )aisha gresee a lot of them didnt fit bec they where either too extreme and the ml didnt apologise things I liked are

 New Tales of Gisaeng (one of my favourite)

Secret 

My love enlighten me 

Eternal love (he did go a bit extreme with taking out her eyes but it was to protect her and he kept making it up to her and apologising)

Empress ki

Bloody romance 

Uncontrollably fond 

If you know any drama like these I would appreciate it 

@alatte Thank you for the reply, that actually helps me a lot. I am thinking of making a list of such dramas/lakorn and I will include how far they take it and how redeemable ML is. Now I am wondering, have you watched "Love Lost in Times"? Bc there, it is hard to tell who is worse to the other. They are pretty much equal. ML hurt FL and FL hurt ML 

FL holds all the card in her hands and keeps ML throughout many EPs of the drama at an arms distance. Even thought she does not harm him physically and only has his very best interest at heart, she lies to him and keeps the truth hidden from him, making him doubt everything about her and her motivations. She breaks his heart telling him she is not interested in him and instead is into his brother (yo!) For a long time in this drama, he is confused on what side she is, Ally or Foe. While she is always fighting for his cause, he is less considerate about her in some arcs of the drama. For instance, he binds her to a pillar where she almost gets crushed by a boulder, treatens her with a knife, he mistrusts her tons and does not listen to her warnings, endangering not only himself and everyone around him but also her,  he does forcefully kiss her once but FL is having none of that. 

Overall, this couple is going through tons together, hand in hand, but also have some arcs where they are on opposite sides, it's a great watch! And the two do deserve each other, they both have to forgive each other for some stuff so ML does not have to fight hard to have her forgive him bc FL did some stuff, too. But ML is having a hard time to finally be with her. :3

@jen it sounds interesting I will definitely give it a try thank you for so much and if you ever do make a list let me know I would love it ^^

@Jen, I agreed about Love Lost In Times were both leads hurting each other, but if you made a count, you wouldsee the scenes of ml hurting fl were more than fl hurting ml. This drama will also be added in my second list though in both ml hurting fl and fl hurting ml.

About the scene when ml tied her on a pillar and threatening her with a knife, it was because he still did not know her (losing his memory). It was still accepted though to my view, and gentle compared to Miss Truth, where ml did exploitation to fl.

Tbh, the hurtful part for the fl was when she should agree the ml taking other female as princess consort instead of her to save that other female life. The scene was hurtful and teary.

The ml apologized a lot since he finally knew how much fl had sacrificed her life for him. Although again when he had to choose between his mom and fl, no matter how sinful his mom was, the scenes were also teary.

Above all, Love Lost in Times were much telling about the fl's sacrifice throughout her life for everyone she loved especially to the ml.

@Aisha Gresee

True, true. I did not find that ML was too rough with FL throughout that arc, especially considering circumstances (I just didn't want my entry to get even longer, so I kept it at that).
I do need to rewatch the series however to properly count the score (of whom hurt whom more), I might have remembered it too bias. :3 For example, I do not even remember the whole part about the princess constort. Just totally blocked that out! O.O Just the same as with his mom omg I must have a bad case of amnesia or sth. Forgetting all the bad parts just like that haha

I love about the series that it is FL centered and not ML. ML is here the 2nd Lead hehe. Even though FL is the supporting character (as in supporting ML to get to his goal), it is all from FLs perspective, highlighting her journey, struggle and sacrafices. Love it so much!

I was gonna try sleepless princess that Aisha gresee reccomend first but you guys got me hyped for love lost  in time XD

 KR:
Finding Yourself (genders reversed, fl wrongs ml)

Aw a gender reversed one? How nice! Can you maybe go a little further into detail about how she wronged him? I remember watching it but I think I dropped out around the middle somewhere. (Don't forget to mark it as spoilers :3)

 Jen:

If you wanna see some bat shit crazy Male Lead abusing/harming Female Lead, there is literally a tag with "Abusive Male Lead". You can also go and watch almost any Thai Lakorn where the tag "Nice Male Lead" is missing.
If you are up for it, I can make you a more detailed list like Aisha Gresee did (but with Lakorn).
I could also include how reluctand FL was to forgive the ass, some FLs in Lakorn world develop straight up Stockholm Syndrome and fall for the guy or forgive him without an apology, that shit is not enjoyable to watch, at all. x.x RIP

 @Jen can you please make a list like that with lakorns? I also HATE female leads that give in too quickly lol. I want the man to grovel and beg 

My Forever Sunshine

Lost Romance

Behind Your Smile

My Husband In Law

Secret

Ashes of Love

Go Back Couple

A Love So Beautiful

What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim

I Have a Lover

The Master’s Sun

Begin Again

Crush

Mr. Honesty

and the story of the second leads in Can we get married  : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=brGug9HRDqg

I also don’t like it when the FL forgives all that easily! =P

 Jen:

Aw a gender reversed one? How nice! Can you maybe go a little further into detail about how she wronged him? I remember watching it but I think I dropped out around the middle somewhere. (Don't forget to mark it as spoilers :3)

Hi I'm not the person who talked about Finding Yourself but if you haven't watched it yet, she wrongs him by breaking up with him and not revealing their relationship, because she is scared it would affect her life and their life in society, while he is always ready to go lengths to protect their relationship as it is a "noona" romance, but yeah that is basically what happens. She kind of redeems herself in the end. Try it out lol