AH VIP 41 minutes ago
I think I need to rewatch Sound of the Desert to help get past the YaoLiu feelings. It feels like the opposite of this drama. The nobleman who is a very powerful figure in the world of trade who also has healing skills, is crippled, doesn't want to get involved in politics and is quietly devoted to the FL doesn't end up with her. Instead, the talented general who keeps the FL company to alleviate her loneliness (and who has a personality that is more similar to the FL's) ends up with her, has a son with her, and runs away with her - to the desert instead of the ocean! And there's a powerful prince-turned-king who was raised with the FL and is obsessed with finding her, but he is only a very small part of the story. Kind of perfect actually.
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HeadInTheClouds:
AH :
Previously, TSJ wasn't able to be hard-hearted towards his grandmother, TSH or FFYY, even though his soft-heartedness hurt XY. XY was understanding of his position, and even said that she would have left him if he had been hard-hearted enough to kill FFYY in those circumstances ("Honestly, if Jing was like you and was hardhearted enough to decide on the plan to kill Fang Feng Yi Yang to end the engagement, then I would actually leave him.").
Framing Jing's failure to address the situation with Hou and his grandmother and FFYY as hardhearted vs. soft/kind-hearted is myopic and distorted. Xiao Yao's judgement here is not trustworthy and very much comes from her psychological deficiencies. Setting boundaries is not being hard-hearted.
l
IMO, TSJ did set some boundaries. But he wasn't willing to take ruthless measures against his family.AH :
He directly opposed his grandmother's wishes and outright refused to proceed with the wedding to FFYY until he was trapped by FFYY and his grandmother with the fake rape and pregnancy, at which point XY chose to leave him.
Later, he worked with XY to expose FFYY and TSH's affair and to have them punished, but wasn't willing to see either of them killed for it.
Later still, he clipped TSH's wings (which, as XL explains to XY, would have been a sufficient option if CX hadn't gotten involved) instead of killing him.
l
Again. The first boundary he should have set was around himself and his desires. He wouldn't be in this situation if he hadn't extracted the prison promise.Kokuto:
Kokuto the type of boundary you're describing is a self-limitation boundary that TSJ could have imposed on himself to prevent his own improper actions. But HeadInTheClouds and I were discussing boundaries that he could have set, or did set, between himself and other people to limit the impact that the improper actions of those other people had on him, and (by extension) on XY.
Jing is supposed to be extremely smart and the best at getting a deal, and yet he couldn't figure out a way to get out of this mess? He could have just renounced everything and gone back to being 17, or at least threatened to do so.
TSJ did threaten to renounce everything in chapter 23, as soon as he returned to Qing Qiu after XY revived him from his coma. He was persistent, but his grandmother revealed that she was dying, and in great pain, and used that to force her way.
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Chapter 23:
Jing returned to Qing Qiu around midnight but ordered the servants not to alert the Grand Madam and he’ll go see her when she rose in the morning.
...
Jing greeted his brother and sister-in-law and the Grand Madam pointed to Yi Yang. “You need to thank Yi Yang, she’s been so busy on your behalf all these years.”
Jing politely bowed to Yi Yang but said nothing. After he straightened himself he turned to his grandmother. “I have something to say to grandmother.”
...
Jing knelt down. “I want to quickly end my engagement with Yi Yang. Please will grandmother permit it.”
The Grand Madam was not surprised. “I knew you would say this. I also know what I will say back: Impossible!”
Jing begged, “I have no feelings towards Yi Yang and she feels the same towards me. Why won’t grandmother let us end the engagement?”
“I can see you don’t have feelings for her, but I can’t see that she doesn’t have feelings for you!”
Jing raised his head. “I already love another, please will grandmother permit!”
The Grand Madam sighed. “Silly child, how long do you think feelings will last? Day after day, the endless time together, all feelings will be smoothed out until all that remains is lightness. Actually, a married couple is more like a business partnership, you give her what she needs, she gives you what you need, you respect her one step, she respects you one step. Back and forth, like flowing water lasting for a long time.”
“Grandmother, I will not marry Yi Yang!”
“If you are Hou then you can do whatever you want and I don’t care! But you are the future Tu Shan clan leader, and the leader determines the rise and fall of the entire clan! Yi Yang is smart and careful, plus the Fang Feng clan relies on the Tu Shan clan which further limits her options. Trust grandmother’s judgment, she is the best choice for the leader’s wife! For the Tu Shan clan, you must marry her!”
Jing said, “I don’t want to be the clan leader, let older brother be the clan leader!”
“You wretch!” The Grand Madam slapped the table and all the plates and cups shattered on the floor and the tea splashed Jing. The Grand Madam touched her heart. “Sixty years! I spent sixty years training the best clan leader's wife, I don’t have another sixty years left!”
Jing kept bowing his head even as his forehead slammed into the broken shards on the ground and jabbed into his flesh. “If grandmother doesn’t agree to end the engagement, then I can only leave the Tu Shan clan.”
The Grand Madam’s body shook and she pointed at Jing. “If you want me to die, then leave! You might as well strangle me now. If I die, then you can do whatever you want and no one will care.”
Jing kept bowing and begging, “Grandmother!”
The Grand Madam called her maid, “Xiao Yu, tell this wretch to scram!”
Xiao Yu walked in. “Please will young master not distress the Grand Madam and allow her to rest!”
Jing saw her clutching her chest and her face had turned purple so he immediately left.
But he didn’t leave and only knelt down in the courtyard. The maid reported it to the Grand Madam but she kept her eyes closed. “Ignore him! Call all the clan elders here!”
Jing knelt outside her room for a day and a night but the Grand Madam ignored him and continued to arrange matters with the clan elders.
After everything was arranged, she had servants bring everyone back. Jing was just recovered from a long illness and had knelt for so long that his face was pale white and his forehead bloody and bruised, looking very ragged. Hou and Yi Yang saw him like that and the hatred in their eyes flitted past.
...
Jing knelt down. “Grandmother, the clan leader matter can wait a few years.”
The Grand Madam raged. “A few years? How many years do you think I have left? Your grandfather died shortly after your father was born and I had to steel myself and run the entire clan. I finally lasted until your father married and became the clan leader and thought I could take a break….but that wretch actually left before me! I almost collapsed that time but thank goodness your mom stepped up to manage the clan. Us two widows raised the pair of you but your mom didn’t get to enjoy any happiness before leaving to join that wretch. I pray day and night that you will take over as clan leader, but then you disappeared for years! I got you back after ten years and before I could even let out a sigh of relief, you went unconscious and wouldn’t wake up. How much longer do I have left for you to torment?”
The Grand Madam spoke and a lifetime of pain and hard work rose up and the normally stalwart her began to cry.
Hou, Lan Mu, and Yi Yang all knelt down before her and the Grand Madam wiped her tears. “I don’t care what you guys think, this time Tu Shan Jing is going to become the clan leader regardless of whether you want to or not.”
Jing continued to bow his head on the ground and begged, “Grandmother, I really don’t want to be clan leader! Older brother is the elder, why can’t he become the clan leader?”
The Grand Madam shouted, “Wretch! You know the answer and yet you still ask? Some things can be concealed to the world but can’t be concealed from those who are close. Your maternal grandfather was the last leader of the Tan family, and the current leader is your uncle. Your maternal grandmother was the eldest daughter of the Chi Sui clan, the current cousin of the clan leader. Hou…..will they accept him as clan leader?”
The Grand Madam clutched her heart and cried, “Wretch, tell me! Will the Chi Sui, Xi Ling, and the Middle Plains Six Big Families all agree with you not being the clan leader?”
Jing pleaded, “I can go convince them one by one.”
The Grand Madam cried, “You think I don’t know all the things you’ve done behind my back all these years? The clan elders only accept you. They won’t allow you not to be the clan leader.”
Jing could only keep pleading and bowing his head. “Grandmother, I really don’t want to be clan leader, older brother wants to be clan leader!”
...
Jing also bowed his head hard. “Please cancel the clan leader ceremony three days from now. I don’t want to be clan leader.” Still he refused to accept the clan leader role.
The Grand Madam stared at her grandsons. Her heartbreak, rage, and despair all rushed to her heart and suddenly all her blood burst forth and she spit out blood that splattered on Jing and Hou.
Both Jing and Hou jumped up and went to assist her but her face was ashen and she was barely breathing.
...
The Grand Madam smiled bitterly. “I won’t hide it from you two anymore, I have at most a year left to live.”
...
Se Mai Er explained, “The prohibited magic of voodoo is that it allows a person to accomplish their greatest desire, but conversely before death the person will endure the greatest pain of the voodoo bug collecting on its equal payment. A person will endure the pain of the bug eating all the insides until the body, soul, and essence is all consumed by the bug. In the end, there is nothing remaining, not even a corpse.”
...
The Grand Madam laughed “How could I? Because of you two wretches! Even if I endure the most horrific pain and have no corpse left, if I can protect the Tu Shan clan then after I die I will have done my duty to our ancestors and not be ashamed before them……” The Grand Madam suddenly stopped talking and she curled up in pain. Jing and Hou rushed over to help her.
...
Jing and Hou glared at each other in rage but when they heard their grandmother scream in agony, both closed their eyes in pain. Because of them, their most loved one must endure the agony of a voodoo bug consuming her insides.
The Grand Madam’s maid Xiao Yu walked out. “Two young masters, please leave now! The Grand Madam must endure the agony an hour a day now but most of the time she’ll be lucid. In time the pain will grow longer and her mental acuity will leave her. She said earlier that she has at most a year left, but really it’s half a year only.”
Xiao Yu started crying. “For hundreds of years I’ve taken care of the Grand Madam and seen what she has done for the Tu Shan clan, what she has done for you both. If both of you even have a shred of filial piety left in you, then please accept the Grand Madam’s wishes for the sake of the Tu Shan clan. When she is lucid let her see the new clan leader emerge so that she can die in peace, so that this pain is worth it.”
...
Jing stared at Li Li but didn’t know where to go. He thought he could leave Qing Qiu and wander the world just the two of them. But the truth was that he could never leave Qing Qiu.
...
He was willing to give up everything, but he could not give up his bloodline.
...
Jing grabbed Xiao Yao suddenly in a tight embrace, his body cold after being in the rain for so long. Xiao Yao silently let him hold her.
After some time Jing said, “Grandmother used a prohibited voodoo bug spell. The voodoo bug has backfired and is consuming her insides.”
When the voodoo bug backfires, there is not much time left to live. Xiao Yao was stunned and didn’t know how to comfort Jing so could only stroke his back.
Jing said, “Grandmother wants me to assume the clan leader position in three days time. I can’t say no anymore.”
Xiao Yao said, “I understand.”
“I had decided that regardless of whether Grandmother agreed or not, I was going to be with you….but now….I’m sorry!”
“It’s okay, it’s really okay!”
Xiao Yao sighed. It wasn’t that she didn’t care but if Jing’s grandmother was willing to give up her life and Jing selfishly chose to leave the Tu Shan clan to be with her, then he wouldn’t be the Jing that Xiao Yao liked.
That night Jing didn’t go back to Qing Qiu.
-
-
-
That would not have been a good move for him or for XY.
TSJ could not just renounce his family name, his title, his wealth, and his status for several reasons:
- Doing so would be seen as him being massively ungrateful, unfilial and disrespectful towards his grandmother, who was his elder (someone he was supposed to show respect and be filial to) and someone he cared for / viewed as having doted on him and having helped raise him with great care.
- Doing so would feel like / be seen as him shirking his responsibility to his family / clan.
- As TSJ tells XY in chapter 14, "After going back, I realized my brother has been leading the clan into danger. If I leave, I worry he will destroy the family."
- Doing so would mean drastically decreasing his ability to be with XY in any capacity in the short term, and to have a proper relationship / marriage with XY in the long term.
- This is also addressed in chapter 14: And he thought to himself, "It actually wasn’t just his family, if Xiao Yao was Wen Xiao Liu then he would be Ye Shi Qi with her in some remote mountain for the rest of their lives. But she was the Gao Xing Princess, and seeing her at the massive royal ceremony, he knew that neither of them could go back. A man who deserved to be with Xiao Yao couldn’t be a coward, if he wanted to be with her, then he needed to end the engagement. He needed to be Tu Shan Jing and openly walk to be with Xiao Yao."
- Doing so would have severely limited his ability to help XY and CX.
- Doing so would have run the risk of making him a pariah in XY's world, and perhaps even a liability to her.
If TSJ threatened to do so without actually being willing to follow through and was called on his bluff, that would incur some of the same drawbacks as going through with it (massive disrespect to his Grandmother, for one) which would undermine the goodwill he was banking on to help change her mind, and it would have destroyed his credibility. Why would his Grandmother ever take his position on these issues (the engagement with FFYY / becoming clan leader / marrying XY) seriously ever again if she successfully called his bluff like that? If he had any hope at all, that would have killed it. Making an empty bluff would have been a terrible move.
l
blabla100:
what I am trying to say is that her assassination wasn't really the pivotal point that made XL push XY away from him, he already started to take this route even before that. Hence, I personally belive he never really visualised a future with her, but I know a lot of people think differently and belive that the assassination was the turning point for XL.
But had he pushed her away before the assassination? He wasn't pushing her away here, though, as I said, I think he may have realized that choice for the first time here.
IMO, XL was (for the most part - the half-serious and not followed through with "wander the world with me" suggestion doesn't fit neatly into a box) tempering XY's expectations and preparing her for a time when he would not be with her from the beginning of his relationship with her as FFB, but was more direct and consistent about it after the assassination attempt and 37 years of healing. And he didn't start to actively push XY towards TSJ until after the 37 years of healing, unless you count XL abandoning XY in the ocean and letting her swim back to TSJ in chapter 13/14 as XL pushing XY towards TSJ.
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Chapter 16 (before FFB's identity as XL is confirmed, and before the 37 years of healing)
Fang Feng Bei wasn’t free every day and usually came by every 5-6 days for Xiao Yao to hang out with him. It so happened to give Xiao Yao enough time to practice her archery from what he taught her in their last meeting. Though one time he disappeared for three months before suddenly showing up. Xiao Yao didn’t ask where he went and he didn’t offer an explanation. Xiao Yao knew their relationship where he taught her archery was just temporary and could end with any little mishap.
...
After they entered the residence, Xiao Yao jumped off her winged horse and sighed. “My version of the wild Princess is so different from Ah Nian’s. With the entire street staring at me, my first instinct is to wonder what I did wrong. Is this a side effect of doing too many bad things in my past?”
Fang Feng Bei asked half seriously half in jest, “Why don’t you not be a Princess anymore and go wander the world with me?”
Xiao Yao giggled. “Sure! If you can let everything go first.”
Fang Feng Bei chuckled while Xiao Yao stared at him. She felt like she called him on his bullshit. When she was wandering the world being a con artist, he was likely home tickling his maids!
-----
Chapter 19 (after FFB's identity as XL is confirmed, but before the 37 years of healing)
Xiao Yao asked, “Can you continue teaching me archery now?” What she really meant to ask was – are you not angry at me anymore?
Bei finished his wine. “I need to leave for a bit, wait for me to come back.”
Xiao Yao figured he was going back to Qing Shui town. Even if there was no active warfare, he was still the General of the Sheng Nong resistance army and there was much he had to do.
Xiao Yao couldn’t help it and sighed loudly and murmured, “If only you could forever be Fang Feng Bei, that would be so great.”
Bei appeared not to have heard her as he set down his wine cup and got up to leave, his form disappearing in the layers of curtains.
-----
Chapter 25:
Fang Feng Bei was riding a winged horse through the crowds, his expression gentle with a smile on his lips, just like any regular son of a rich family.
Xiao Yao was rooted in place and watched him come closer to her through the dense thrum of bustling ordinary life. Even knowing it was hopeless, she still fervently wished that this ordinary world could keep him in it.
-----
Chapter 29:
“Xiang Liu, I really don’t know, what is your heart thinking deep down inside?”
“You and I are travelers who have crossed paths in this windy world. Whenever we meet, we are each other’s companions to enjoy the world is all! Why do you care what I think deep down inside?”
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Chapter 32:
Xiao Yao sensed something but had to confirm it. “Where is Fang Feng Bei?”
Xiang Liu coolly replied, “He’s dead.”
Xiao Yao stared at Xiang Liu and her eyes were blinded in pain by his whiteness like a cloud and like the snow. Tears came to her eyes. Fang Feng Bei took her away and now Fang Feng Bei was dead and would never appear again. From now on, it was only Xiang Liu. That irresponsible man who did whatever he wanted, taught her archery, took her through the world seeking the simplest of pleasures… that man was now dead.
He once said that she and he were just temporary companions in this unpredictable life seeking happiness. He never lied to her!
----
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