Istg whoever says this is not a BL couldn't be more wrong. Like, what yall on about????? Who's out there acting like this with their homies and bros, HUH?! Kissing on the cheek in the dark? Lovingly gazing at each other? Saying your homie only belongs to you? Brother, what code book have I missed, cuz I sure as hell, and no one around me, be acting like this.

Addicted was a series that was basically a cultural reset, and one of the biggest things to ever exist. It genuinely shaped a whole generation. And even though I don't remember much, I remember being engrossed into the story like no fucking other man. The acting, the visuals, the story telling... everything was stellar. So this coming in and trying to remake it into its own thing under the label of "bromance" was a massive shoe to fill.

And did it succeed? One million fucking percent!!

I am obsessed with this. I am obsessed with these characters. Wu Bi and Su Yu have me in a fucking chock hold. I lost sleep over these characters. Just thinking about those last few eps and the lines they say hurt me. Even now, just writing this makes my chest ache. Am I being dramatic? 100%. But that's what these characters have done to me. I laughed with them. Cried for them. Got angry for and with them. Got emotionally invested into all these characters and their stories. Their lives were my lives. It's no over exaggeration to say that this is hands down one of the best BLs ever. They didn't even need to add any kissing or confirmation scenes to show that they love each other. The dialogue, the acting... the actors put their backs into this and it paid off. You could tell what they felt for each even if they didn't explicitly say it. That's just how good this was. These two were in love. Their love was pure, heart wrenching, possessive... addictive. And I loved every second of it.

I don't even know where to start with this, but I guess I will start with Su Yu. This boy is fucking amazing. He's a character that's hard to pull off. Because unlike Wu Bi, he doesn't show his emotions outwardly, doesn't use big words or affection. It's the small things, like small gestures or the looks of affection, and the things he does and says. Outside looking in, you'd think only Wu Bi is in love. But no. This boy is just as in love. And the actor did a fantastic job in portraying him. Su Yu isn't someone who lets people in easily. He's guarded, walls higher than the Everest, protecting his heart not only from others, but even his dad. The environment he was brought up in, the situations he was put in, you could just tell he was defensive and kept people at arms length. His studying was the only form of protection and identity — his armour. But then came Wu Bi, bulldozing his way through and slowly crumbling those walls. And you could just tell how Su Yu slowly started to open up his heart, started to trust him. And every time that Wu Bi did something to hurt him, he'd just go back to the cold hearted guy, closing himself off.

But then, when Wu Bi truly started to show that he cares for no one but Su Yu, boy was gone. He's hurt by Wu Bi, but still waits, longs and thinks about him. "He's lost. He can't find his way home." This line destroyed me. He was angry, but deep down he was still waiting. Even when that bitch Ye Wan Ying came into the picture, boy wasn't even concerned about her trying to get with him or her motives, brother got angry because he thought Wu Bi liked her. All he could think about was Wu Bi when he was with her in their last meeting. And then him telling Wu Bi: "From Today onwards, until you get married, I will spend all the holidays with you." Excuse me?!!?! Like this was a confession without it being a confession!!!

And from then, you could just tell how much he cared for the boy without even him saying anything. The looks he gives, seeking for Wu Bi when he needs comfort, looking at Wu Bi before saying "Wo Ai Ni!!" And that rain scene, STOP!!! He was starving, thirsty, nearly drowned, sitting under a fucking down pour and only his shirt to protect him, and what does he do??? CALLS WU BI!!! LIKE SHUT UP, I'M NOT CRYING. And then him acting like he didn't miss Wu Bi, but didn't even waste a second to run to the airport when he got his man's call?? I WAS SQUEALING!! He cares so much for his boy, to give him closure, and he was ready to risk his life. No, you're the one going mad, not me. Istg I could be here all day, and still not be finished. Su Yu is such a perfectly executed character I genuinely can't put it into words. And only a great actor like Zhang Jiong Min could bring him to life like he did.

Now lets get onto my man Wu Bi. This boy. Oh my fucking god this boy. I love him to bits. I didn't think I would love a character this much, but my love for him is too big to contain. The moment he dropped that banging line about calling Su Yu's mum "mum" only after she's dead, I was sold. Then you see his goofy side and I knew it was a point of no return. Xu Bin did such an amazing job that I know I would do him injustice if I don't say he was anything less then perfect, show-stopping, otherworldly. Like, I really thought he was going to be nothing but a cold hearted bastard, but then you slowly peel back the layers and you begin to see what kind of character he truly is. His complicated relationship with his dad, wanting to get any from of validation from him, to accept him as he is. His relationship with Su Yu's dad and getting that fatherly love his own father had stopped giving him. His relationship with Duo, and that sibling bond. Istg, that might have been my absolute favourite familial relationship ever. Wu Bi and Duo had to be the most precious fucking little nuggets I have ever seen before.

Then comes his relationship with Su Yu. This genuinely had to be a masterclass of story telling. You could just tell the moment Su Yu stopped being someone he was interested in and wanted to tease to someone who was unreplaceable. The love that he holds for Su Yu might be a bit possessive, but at its core, its pure. Its kind and loving. Su Yu had been the first person to ever challenge him. To push back against him and not yield to his wills. And that is exactly what Wu Bi needed in his life. And watching him go through the lengths just to keep Su Yu happy was heart breaking. The small, "I hope you happiness" to that bitch Ye Wan Ying when he thought her and Su Yu were gonna be together was devastating. Boy didn't want that to happen, but he still stood down cuz that's what he thought Su Yu wanted. Sitting outside Su Yu's hotel room from 3am because he didn't want to wake him, only to find out Ye Wan Ying was inside. The heartbreak of when Su Yu punched him, but never being able to be mad at him for too long. Everything was slowly done, but it was absolute perfection in execution. It's the way he talks to Su Yu and lets his walls down, lets himself be vulnerable and goofy with the boy. Him saying he can't live without Su Yu. SHUT. THE. FUCKING. FUCK. UP. The dedication, the loyalty, the pureness. UGH, I WANT HIM!!

Wu Bi was such a nuanced character, and Xu Bin played him flawlessly. He was just a boy looking for love and companionship, and found it among the least likely of people. Watching him grow confident in himself to pursue his dreams was so endearing and funny to watch. Him finding closure for himself about his mum's death but willing to be in the dark about it as long as Su Yu is alright was heart-breaking. And when my boy finally got his approval from his dad, oof— I was screaming!! I fucking loved everything about his character arc man, and I wish we could have stayed with him more!

And his mischievous side! I need more of it! He sometimes says the funniest shit ever. And his whacky doodle ass is something we need more of. And these writers were really pushing the boundaries with the shit he says, and I fucking stan them for that. "It's you and me, and in our relationship, I can give you something better than money." — BROTHERS, YEAH?? HOMIES YOU SAY?? Man isn't even trying to hide and yet yall blinder than bats.

Everything was perfect. The angst at the beginning, then slowly getting the character development our boys need, to the most precious found family we ever got, to them being unreplaceable in each others lives. This story was able to tell us that not being blood related makes you just as much as family as blood-families. The relationship between these characters were honest to god beautiful, and each interaction left me with wanting more.

THEN YOU GET THE FUCKING ENDING!!!

I SWEAR ON ALL I HOLD DEAR, WHEN I SEE THESE WRITERS I WILL FUCKING RUN AT THEM. WHAT WAS THIS? JUST WHY? WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU END IT THERE?

Mo Yi is my villain origin story. I will hate him. I will always hate him. Nothing, and I mean nothing, could ever make him like him. This son of a bitch needs to burn in hell and not even the 9th circle is enough. He was the cause for the accident and still demanded that Su Yu pay for the bills????? Brother, excuse me????? What the fuck, you bastard? Where's the respect? The dignity? The decorum?

"In my heart, you have always been invincible. You are always so healthy, always full of energy, always strong and independent. But at this moment, I realised that I was wrong. You can also get hurt, you can also show weakness, you can also sleep without waking up. I'm so afraid of your death, to the point that I'm willing to give everything in exchange for your life. As long as you can survive." — If I don't memorise every line of this then I'm not human. I was broken. Irreparable. Heart not found. Soul lost. This is the moment that you realise that Su Yu is just as obsessed with Wu Bi as Wu Bi is with Su Yu. AND BROTHER??? I WAS A MESS. I AM NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME PERSON EVER AGAIN. And these being the last lines of the show?? THAT'S SICK OF THEM. SICK, I TELL YOU. I want my therapy bills paid and want my memory taken so I never remember this happened.

AND THE FACT WE DON'T GET A SECOND SEASON??? UMMM— EXCUSE ME??? I'm so upset, annoyed, frustrated, screaming, crying, throwing up. I know they get married and live happily ever after in the novel, but I will physically be sick if I don't see it on my screen. I seriously beg the universe and everything above to let season 2 be uncancelled so we can watch it. PLEASE MAN, I BEG. I WILL GIVE MY FIRST BORN UP JUST TO SEE THESE TWO BOYS LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER ON MY SCREEN.

Mo Yi: "You will destroy him. No. You already destroyed him."
Su Yu: "I will never leave him." — THIS. THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE EVERY LAST SCENE OF THE SHOW. IF THIS DOESN'T JUST INCAPSULATE THE EVERY ESSENCE OF WU BI/ SU YU RELATIONSHIP THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL. THESE TWO ARE FUCKING ADDICTED TO EACH OTHER. ADDICTED.

There is me before this show, and me after this show. And the me after this show will forever be in a state of heartache in being unable to move on from these characters. Being unable to not forget that there is a scene so heart-breaking that it physically aches. I am going to rewatch this, I just know I will never be able to find something as good as what this show has given me. I am going to miss these boys with my live, they were excellent in every way imaginable, and I truly hate the Chinese censorship ban. They could have had the best dang series the world had seen, a billion bucks at their door step, and the best effing story to be told in cinema history. But alas, here we are. And yet, my boys still delivered and still felt everything down to my bones.