My thoughts about this drama: “what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye”

I loved the first episodes, how complex their dynamic was and how well Soohyun and Jiwon brought them to life with their micro expressions. The way the pacing felt realistic, since a lot of things have passed between them and they're relearning each other. For me the drama took a bad turn when they lost focus of the main characters and expanded so much on the Queen’s drama. Especially the villains, they had so much screen time and were not really nuanced. Or the aunt, like yes, she was a nice character, but ???? why would they think I wanted so much screen time with her and that bland guy? At first it was cute, but when they gave them so much screen time the last episodes it turned out really annoying for me.

I feel like the car crash was unnecessary and something the writer included because she felt like the audience had not forgiven Hyun Woo enough for the way he acted at the beginning of the drama. That we needed to see him have this big gesture and go rescue her as proof of his love, but it was unnecessary and redundant by this point. We’ve already seen how much he loves her ever since the reality of losing her was on the table and he realized it (when she gets lost on his hometown and she admits it and he hugs her and cries).

In episode 1 and 2 we see how distant and resentful they’ve grown of each other, how they’ve built walls between each other (like when she says he is acting out of character by siding with her and taking her hand) but the moment she is honest and vulnerable (probably it’s been years since that) it dawns on him that she is sick and loosing herself. And it breaks him, because it turns real, that maybe she won’t be saved, that they’ve lost years of companionship they took for granted and both of them could’ve done something to fix things (their talk outside of the supermarket). Him recognizing he forgot that love (while she didn’t) and that scene in episode 6 in Germany was top notch, and staying by her side with Queen’s take over and also recognizing his own mistakes (like how Haein tells him she never wanted to be alone, and both understand she is talking about their baby; or him saying that he wishes he would’ve asked her about her day back then instead of acting as strangers) for me was enough. Him egging her on to have a reaction out of her, bringing her family to his hometown, being vulnerable with her and recognizing his faults, listening to her and caring, were reasons enough to forgive him.

I was also not a fan of her losing her memory. I think they chose way too many conflicts and they overlapped and we didn’t have enough scenes of them being happy without the threat of her disease. I would’ve either picked the Queen’s take over or her amnesia, both was too much. Especially when the pacing by the end was so bad and they chose to keep her amnesia instead of her remembering. We didn’t have scenes of “them” but of HyunWoo and a HaeIn that didn’t feel like HaeIn at times and did not know their past. Like, yes, their past wasn’t perfect, but it was what gave their relationship depth. And then they chose to skip her falling in love with him or any life milestones between them!!! Like them finding out about her being pregnant again and this time supporting each other and facing the uncertainty together. Their child’s first birthday! We got like a few seconds of them on the steps and then were clubbed with old HyunWoo facing her death and meeting each other again as “souls”. I think it would’ve been a little less shocking if we’d had at least more scenes of them spending their life together before that scene. Especially after most of the drama they made us bawl our eyes out.

One of the worst things they chose to do was that the reason they both grew distant and started to resent the other was not addressed with the depth and care that it should’ve been. They both hurt each other. HyunWoo felt that his feelings were not taken into consideration by HaeIn and that she did not care as much as him (shown by his surprise by the date being her passcode) and that he was not given space to grief. Like he grew up in a family in which they talk things together and support each other, that’s the way he is able to bear sadness, and HaeIn closing off emotionally and being defensive made him feel isolated. Meanwhile, HaeIn has already suffered the loss of a family member and she was blamed and resented by her mother for it, so it makes sense that because of that experience and the guilt and trauma of the miscarriage she was going through she thought HyunWoo would do the same, especially after seeing that he moved his things out of their bedroom. He did it because he felt hurt by her breaking down the nursery and not giving him space to grief, but it was how she was taught to grief: walk around it, pretend it did not happen and don’t talk about it (like how her father was going to turn the page of the family album when there was a photo of her older brother). I feel like the way they started to approach it was on track: HyunWoo seeing the birthdate being her passcode, HaeIn admitting she never wanted to be alone and HyunWoo understanding she is talking about the miscarriage and realizing he misinterpreted her back then and the look of regret when he apologizes and hugs her. But I think they should’ve talked about it sooner (like when they’re in his apartment, when she sees the birthdate being his passcode as well) instead of the gloss over they did on the final episode when she still does not remember a lot of what they went through.

The drama started out great but I feel like the writers didn’t understand the characters enough and thought we needed big action scenes to be impressed and hooked. Instead, it would’ve been better if it stayed as more of a character study on how for love to be kept alive it needs to be nourished, it needs work and communication and respect between each other. Jiwon and Soohyun are amazing actors and have the range to bring those scenes to life, so it’s a shame that the writers chose to sideline them (like I think the villains have almost more screen time than HaeIn in the final episodes...). Tbh, Soohyun and Jiwon were the reason I kept watching, especially by the end, I can say that the last two episodes are some of the worst episodes of the drama.

I love HyunWoo and HaeIn, and it’s been a while since I’ve been so hooked with a drama and the actors had the ability to make me care so deeply about their characters. “Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new” by Ursula K. LeGuin reminds me of their relationship.