This review may contain spoilers
PecBros, or, Peccentric Bromance
This is how I imagine the pitch meeting for this show went:
WRITERS: So, we have a proposal for a new BL. One that is radical and fresh and new and innovative...
PRODUCERS: What is it?
WRITERS: It’s a Thai BL crossed with a Korean BL.
PRODUCERS: Brilliant!! Go nuts!
WRITERS: Great! How much money do we get?
PRODUCERS: Nothing.
DIRECTOR: Hang on... (To the writers:) Talk us through it.
WRITERS: Well, there's this Thai dude who comes to study at Korea, and he's best friends with this Korean dude because they grew up together, and...
PRODUCERS: In the same country?
WRITERS: Yes.
PRODUCERS: Which one? Thailand or Korea?
WRITERS: Exactly.
DIRECTOR: Well, which is it?
WRITERS: Which isn't it?
PRODUCERS: O... kay...
WRITERS: Anyway, the Thai dude goes to the same university as his buddy, and they decide to share the same room. Will they be more than friends? That's the story.
(Everyone sighs.)
CASTING DIRECTOR: So, I'm guessing we’ll need to find a Korean actor who speaks Thai, and a Thai actor who speaks Korean?
PRODUCERS: Who are also willing to be in a BL? Forget it. Too expensive.
WRITERS: What do we do then?
PRODUCERS: We get around it.
WRITERS: How?
DIRECTOR: By giving them a few language lessons?
PRODUCERS: Of course not. Let's just have the Thai guy speak Thai, and the Korean guy speak Korean. Easy.
WRITERS: But…
PRODUCERS: But what?
WRITERS: If the Thai actor cannot speak Korean, and the show is set in Korea, how will he interact with all the other Korean characters in the show?
PRODUCERS: What characters?
WRITERS (shuffling through their papers): Well, so far, we have a couple of university students, a gym teacher, and of course, a fujoshi.
CASTING DIRECTOR: That would be a problem.
PRODUCERS: Hmmm... Well, why don't we just say that all the students are majoring in Thai, that the gym teacher loves Thai culture, and the fujoshi… well, can’t she just love Thai food?
WRITERS: Yet none of them can speak a word of Thai?
DIRECTOR: Well, what are the boys supposed to be studying at college?
WRITERS: I think they’re studying… (They talk among themselves and fumble through the pages.) Ummm... something physical education-y.
PRODUCERS: In other words, something that gets them to the gym in order for us to see them topless.
(The writers remain silent.)
PRODUCERS: Then why the fuck does any of it matter? Just throw them in the gym, take a few thirst traps, and give it a theme tune. Done.
DIRECTOR: Ummm… Not to be a wet blanket or anything. But is there a plot somewhere around the corner?
WRITERS: We’re still working on it.
DIRECTOR: What do you mean "working on it"?
WRITERS: We have an element of mystery. We think the gym teacher might be involved in a murder.
DIRECTOR: Might be? Surely you, as writers, should know what happens?
PRODUCERS: You a rookie? He's just a hunk of meat. (To the writers): Isn't he?
DIRECTOR: Well, you’re not helping matters. If we have good actors, or better scriptwriters... no offence...
WRITERS: None taken.
DIRECTOR: What am I supposed to do now?
PRODUCERS: Relax. This is BL 101. You need arms, pecs, abs, and ass. You need some “angst”, whatever the fuck that means, and you need a happy ending. Don’t tell me the girls won’t eat this up.
WRITERS: They have a point.
PRODUCERS (clapping their hands twice): Get to it, then. Make us some money.
CASTING DIRECTOR: This is going to be a fun couple of months.
DIRECTOR: What could possibly go wrong?
And this is how I imagine the post-production meeting went:
PRODUCERS: Remind us, which one of you was the editor on this project? (A hesitant hand goes up.) You're fired. And who did the cinematography? You’re fired too. Now, who did the music? (Another hesitant hand goes up.) Give the man a raise. He knows how to trap that thirst. (A long pause.) Now, where are the screenwriters?
WRITERS: Here.
PRODUCERS: Tell me, have you ever considered writing for gay porn? Because your talents are wasted here.
WRITERS: Oh! Wait... what?
PRODUCERS (sighing): It's one thing to have no plot. Which is what you came to us with in the first place. But now, you have given us a murder mystery in which the real villain was... drumrolls please...
CASTING DIRECTOR: Oh, you want us to do the actual drumroll?
DIRECTOR: Interesting.
PRODUCERS: The fat guy! The fat guy!! You know, the one who steals other people's food, who can't control himself or his feelings, and who therefore deserves to die? Him. This is what you were going for. In 2024.
(The writers are silent.)
PRODUCERS: Tell me, was he meant to be gay as well? Not that we acknowledge the existence of gays in KBLs, of course. Or did you make that vague on purpose, so that your audience wouldn't have to think of him as a sexual being?
WRITERS: No... It's just...
PRODUCERS: You do realise you've managed to write a show in which a YouTube influencer is *not* the worst person in the world? Now that’s an accomplishment.
DIRECTOR: What are you so mad at them for? You green-lit the project!
PRODUCERS: Yes, back when we thought it was about two cute boys hitting the gym, bonding over Thai food, and lip reading in different languages. We didn't expect a bibimbap of anti-fat prejudices and pro-protein-shake propaganda. Didn't we have enough of that in Blueming?
DIRECTOR: What do you want us to do then? Pull the project?
PRODUCERS: No, of course not. (Sighs.) When you've been in the business for as long as we have, you'll realise that people will watch anything. Most BL is queer-bait-and-switch anyway.
DIRECTOR: What then?
PRODUCERS: Send it to focus group -- but make sure there's no one gay, fat, or above 40 in it -- and see how often they say 'fluffy' or 'cute'. If it's more than 50%, release it.
WRITERS: So you want us to release something that you yourself hate?
PRODUCERS: Of course. Haven't you seen the Producers?
Reader's (Google Translated) Digest:
DO SAY: Krub, C̄hạn rạk khuṇ, Annyeonghaseyo, Salanghaeyo.
DON'T SAY: H̄yud ley. Kkeojyeo.
WRITERS: So, we have a proposal for a new BL. One that is radical and fresh and new and innovative...
PRODUCERS: What is it?
WRITERS: It’s a Thai BL crossed with a Korean BL.
PRODUCERS: Brilliant!! Go nuts!
WRITERS: Great! How much money do we get?
PRODUCERS: Nothing.
DIRECTOR: Hang on... (To the writers:) Talk us through it.
WRITERS: Well, there's this Thai dude who comes to study at Korea, and he's best friends with this Korean dude because they grew up together, and...
PRODUCERS: In the same country?
WRITERS: Yes.
PRODUCERS: Which one? Thailand or Korea?
WRITERS: Exactly.
DIRECTOR: Well, which is it?
WRITERS: Which isn't it?
PRODUCERS: O... kay...
WRITERS: Anyway, the Thai dude goes to the same university as his buddy, and they decide to share the same room. Will they be more than friends? That's the story.
(Everyone sighs.)
CASTING DIRECTOR: So, I'm guessing we’ll need to find a Korean actor who speaks Thai, and a Thai actor who speaks Korean?
PRODUCERS: Who are also willing to be in a BL? Forget it. Too expensive.
WRITERS: What do we do then?
PRODUCERS: We get around it.
WRITERS: How?
DIRECTOR: By giving them a few language lessons?
PRODUCERS: Of course not. Let's just have the Thai guy speak Thai, and the Korean guy speak Korean. Easy.
WRITERS: But…
PRODUCERS: But what?
WRITERS: If the Thai actor cannot speak Korean, and the show is set in Korea, how will he interact with all the other Korean characters in the show?
PRODUCERS: What characters?
WRITERS (shuffling through their papers): Well, so far, we have a couple of university students, a gym teacher, and of course, a fujoshi.
CASTING DIRECTOR: That would be a problem.
PRODUCERS: Hmmm... Well, why don't we just say that all the students are majoring in Thai, that the gym teacher loves Thai culture, and the fujoshi… well, can’t she just love Thai food?
WRITERS: Yet none of them can speak a word of Thai?
DIRECTOR: Well, what are the boys supposed to be studying at college?
WRITERS: I think they’re studying… (They talk among themselves and fumble through the pages.) Ummm... something physical education-y.
PRODUCERS: In other words, something that gets them to the gym in order for us to see them topless.
(The writers remain silent.)
PRODUCERS: Then why the fuck does any of it matter? Just throw them in the gym, take a few thirst traps, and give it a theme tune. Done.
DIRECTOR: Ummm… Not to be a wet blanket or anything. But is there a plot somewhere around the corner?
WRITERS: We’re still working on it.
DIRECTOR: What do you mean "working on it"?
WRITERS: We have an element of mystery. We think the gym teacher might be involved in a murder.
DIRECTOR: Might be? Surely you, as writers, should know what happens?
PRODUCERS: You a rookie? He's just a hunk of meat. (To the writers): Isn't he?
DIRECTOR: Well, you’re not helping matters. If we have good actors, or better scriptwriters... no offence...
WRITERS: None taken.
DIRECTOR: What am I supposed to do now?
PRODUCERS: Relax. This is BL 101. You need arms, pecs, abs, and ass. You need some “angst”, whatever the fuck that means, and you need a happy ending. Don’t tell me the girls won’t eat this up.
WRITERS: They have a point.
PRODUCERS (clapping their hands twice): Get to it, then. Make us some money.
CASTING DIRECTOR: This is going to be a fun couple of months.
DIRECTOR: What could possibly go wrong?
And this is how I imagine the post-production meeting went:
PRODUCERS: Remind us, which one of you was the editor on this project? (A hesitant hand goes up.) You're fired. And who did the cinematography? You’re fired too. Now, who did the music? (Another hesitant hand goes up.) Give the man a raise. He knows how to trap that thirst. (A long pause.) Now, where are the screenwriters?
WRITERS: Here.
PRODUCERS: Tell me, have you ever considered writing for gay porn? Because your talents are wasted here.
WRITERS: Oh! Wait... what?
PRODUCERS (sighing): It's one thing to have no plot. Which is what you came to us with in the first place. But now, you have given us a murder mystery in which the real villain was... drumrolls please...
CASTING DIRECTOR: Oh, you want us to do the actual drumroll?
DIRECTOR: Interesting.
PRODUCERS: The fat guy! The fat guy!! You know, the one who steals other people's food, who can't control himself or his feelings, and who therefore deserves to die? Him. This is what you were going for. In 2024.
(The writers are silent.)
PRODUCERS: Tell me, was he meant to be gay as well? Not that we acknowledge the existence of gays in KBLs, of course. Or did you make that vague on purpose, so that your audience wouldn't have to think of him as a sexual being?
WRITERS: No... It's just...
PRODUCERS: You do realise you've managed to write a show in which a YouTube influencer is *not* the worst person in the world? Now that’s an accomplishment.
DIRECTOR: What are you so mad at them for? You green-lit the project!
PRODUCERS: Yes, back when we thought it was about two cute boys hitting the gym, bonding over Thai food, and lip reading in different languages. We didn't expect a bibimbap of anti-fat prejudices and pro-protein-shake propaganda. Didn't we have enough of that in Blueming?
DIRECTOR: What do you want us to do then? Pull the project?
PRODUCERS: No, of course not. (Sighs.) When you've been in the business for as long as we have, you'll realise that people will watch anything. Most BL is queer-bait-and-switch anyway.
DIRECTOR: What then?
PRODUCERS: Send it to focus group -- but make sure there's no one gay, fat, or above 40 in it -- and see how often they say 'fluffy' or 'cute'. If it's more than 50%, release it.
WRITERS: So you want us to release something that you yourself hate?
PRODUCERS: Of course. Haven't you seen the Producers?
Reader's (Google Translated) Digest:
DO SAY: Krub, C̄hạn rạk khuṇ, Annyeonghaseyo, Salanghaeyo.
DON'T SAY: H̄yud ley. Kkeojyeo.
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