After sacrificing my sleep last night, I finished a whole box of tissue for my tears, and oh well, my snots. I got a taste of sweetness that made my skin crawl from Qingmo and Houchi...and loads of heartaches from Houchi and Bai Jue...then Shanggu and Bai Jue. It was truly a roller coaster for the last 15 episodes.

The moments that undoubtedly made this show special were the endless goodbyes. It was the same concept, repetitive even, but the way they were delivered and how the words were phrased was equally heartbreaking.

And since these scenes were the ones I find remarkable, I would like to say a few more words.

1. See You After 100 Years - The day after Qingmo and Houchi's wedding, they bade goodbye to each other. To Houchi, although she was sad, she was also full of hope in reuniting with her husband after 100 years. If you consider that they're immortals, 100 years is nothing to them, so she might have thought that time will pass in a blink of an eye. For Qingmo however; he was full of uncertainty. Having just accepted the fact that he will disappear one day, separating with Houchi at this time was just too cruel. He probably thought there is a chance that this will be the last time he will see Houchi again, but still, he had a bit of hope of seeing her again after 100 years. After all, that's the timeframe Boxuan is supposed to regain sense.

2. I'm Unreconciled - Confronted face to face with another him who will devour his entire being, Qingmo was devastated...for his fears had come true --- not being able to meet Houchi again. I would like to applaud KaiKai here, he made Qingmo's last day on earth remarkably heartbreaking. He was unresigned, devastated, and full of regret...yet nothing could be done about it. His being was full of desperation you would be a total wood if your heart didn't hurt even a bit with this scene.

3. Qingmo, I'm back / Give Qingmo Back to me - I can't decide which line is better so I included them both as they are the main points of this scene. Having seen Bai Jue herself, Houchi has had her doubts. She believes Qingmo still lives within the man who calls himself Bai Jue. But when she was cruelly denied of this fact and was left with a mere cenotaph, she mourned...as she might have truly lost her husband.

4. I love You, My Dear Wife - Oh, the consciousness that Qingmo left for Houchi was full of love and longing. This was my favorite farewell scene. Like Qingmo said, his life maybe was short, but he was able to live it fully. He loved and received love. It was complete. Saying goodbye to his dear wife, he didn't look sad, but content knowing that their love was real.

5. The "Black Wedding" - After seeing Qingmo's farewell, Houchi was desperate to have him back and so he went to find Bai Jue who is in the middle of preparing his wedding. Houchi wanted nothing else but to know Qingmo is still alive. But bai Jue had to be so cruel in always shooting her down. When Houchi demanded a divorce and Bai Jue made the pact right there and then, I couldn't help but lament the circumstances of these two people who deeply love each other to separate just like that.

And in the middle of that, when Baijue said, "don't stop me or you will regret it" and Tianqi said he won't, Bai Jue repeated the same sentence, only then did Tianqi realize what Bai Jue is trying to do. I tell you, this episode was full of so much angst my heart almost gave up.

The heartbreaking separation of father and daughter. This is the highlight of this episode. Gu Jun sacrificed his life, not for anything else but to save his daughter's life. This scene truly etched in my heart, that a parent can do anything for their children just to keep them safe. And for this, Houchi truly fell into a sense of loss. He lost two of his closest kin, a husband and a father. Who would blame her if she will hate Bai Jue enough to kill him? All she ever wanted was to lead a safe and simple life. To be a filial daughter, a virtuous wife, and a good mother. And when she really did pierce his heart, she smirked, for she did not feel liberated. Killing Bai Jue will not bring back the family she lost. This was when she truly accepted that Qingmo is not coming back and this was truly the end of their ill-fated relationship.

6. Shanggu and Bai Jue - Waking up with no memories for the past 60 years, we see Shanggu with a young heart pining for Bai Jue. But she was told he got married not once, but twice and with a son, we see her confusion and disbelief. When she finally bared her heart to Bai Jue, saying how she wanted to tell him about her time in the Netherworld. That she had misgivings of his infidelity (well, we all know he's really not), but she doesn't know that. She did not receive any bit of consolation from him. And so she gave him up for a second time---as Shanggu.

7. You Really Let Us Down - I simply loved this scene for the powerful message that gave a blow to Muguang. When comparing people's lives, how would you weigh which one is more important? Wu Huan killed a truckload of demons and immortals alike, and when she was on the path to execution, what right would Muguang have to beg for the life of his wife? Houchi's words were bullets straight to the heart.

8. Last Dream - Shanggu never stopped loving Bai Jue. She was disappointed in him, yes, but she has always loved him. So when an opportunity presented itself to be with Bai Jue, even if it's only a dream, she embraced it with all her heart, without knowing this was really it, the final farewell.

After everything that's said and done, I understood what mindset and heart Bai Jue had when he made the decision to take the Tribulation of Chaos for Shanggu. There's nothing left to be said after witnessing their journey.

This is a show that I will love for a very long time.

P.S. Special credit to A-Lin's A Thousand Years of Searching for taking the angst on another level. Her longing-filled voice tinged with desperation in the background pushes the emotion at its peak.