Anata ga Shitekurenakute mo (2023)

Interesting exploration into marriage without intimacy, before nosediving into absurdity.

This series took an interesting look at marriage and how things can break down over a lack of communication and intimacy.

Considering how things went for the two couples profiled in this, I thought their marriages had reached the point of no return. Makoto's wife was more interested in her career than having a family, and in turn denied him emotional and physical intimacy.

And Michi's husband did not want kids at all and rather work a mediocre job and play video games, while at the same time denying her emotional and physical intimacy for more than two years. In the mist of all that he decided to physically cheat on her with his colleague and had little remorse for it until she (Michi) started to pull away from him.

Makoto and Michi became emotionally involved due to their loveless marriages and ultimately divorced their spouses, but break up with each other after the divorces. Still they continue on with their lives. Makoto working on growing his career and Michi doing the same, but also learning how to stand on her own. I thought the story ended in a good place at the end of episode 10 and should've stopped there. I didn't understand why another episode was needed.

Imagine my surprise when the main couples spent all of episode 11 ignoring what had destroyed their relationships in the first place, some of which were things that could not be overcome i.e. one person in the relationship wanting kids while the other didn't and extreme selfishness by one party in the relationship. Only to get back together in the end.

It was good to see Michi try to work on herself. Thus, it was extremely disappointing to see her reunite with Yo just because he told her he loved her. SMH. Very elementary and immature of her. This guy never worked for their relationship, except when that work would result in him getting what he wanted from her. Their relationship was never about them or even her. It was always about him. Moreover, he was unambitious, emotionally stunted and extremely selfish. In no way a match for what she envisioned for her life. It made absolutely no sense that he'd suddenly decide to leave the coffee shop and open his own. Honestly, I don't know how the shop he was working for stayed in business when there was never any customers in there.

This had to be one of the worst series I've ever wasted time watching and it was all due to the ending. I honestly had no investment in Michi and Makoto. I didn't care whether they ended up together or not.

However, I did think enough had been shown to logically conclude that both of their marriages were irreparably damaged and that they needed to move on. What a cop out to have them a) still interacting with each other, not just their exes, but the exes of their former "lovers" and b) to have the suddenly realize they belong together and reunite with their spouses. It made no sense whatsoever. Overall, the only good thing about this was the acting, which was actually pretty good. That aside though, this is not a series I would recommend and is obviously not worth a rewatch.

Read More

Insightful content with average execution

Don’t be deceived by the impression the first couple of episodes make, this is not a mundane, trope-filled series. On the contrary, it unfolds a complex examination of marriage. The drama places adultery in the wider context of already fractured relationships and explores it as a symptom not a cause.

It rings the changes and thoroughly deals with all sides of the situation, identifying every nuance and plunging into everyone’s complex and conflicted feelings. The excuses, evasions and dishonesty, not only with their partners, but with themselves. The selfishness and procrastination that accompany the slow move towards emotional honesty, self knowledge and self acceptance. It leaves no stone unturned, no nuance uninvestigated. To its credit, I often thought that I knew where it was headed, only to become unsure again. Very much like the real life process of negotiating relationships.

And this is its strength. It is a mature reflection on the fragility and messiness of relationships which can probably only be fully appreciated by people who have some life experience.

However, with so much to pack in, there is little subtlety in the way the next angle is manufactured. We shift from one perspective to the next like factory processes on a conveyor belt and the final episode is one conveyor belt too far imo. You can see the spreadsheet with the plot points divided up into the number of episodes and the flow charts for the character developments. The writing is not quite subtle or smooth enough to be wholly convincing.

Having said that, there is so much material that it could have benefitted from a longer unfolding. This is really not something I say very often, normally I want to get in there with the blue pencil and drastically prune things back. But only eleven, forty-five minute episodes cramps its style. Although I don’t think the writer (Okazaki Satoko) is top notch, I think she has enough skills to have eased the flow if she had been given a longer opportunity.

The performances are mixed. For me, Nao and Nagayama Eita make a much more convincing pairing than the other couple. There is greater transparency to their internal emotions. I found Iwata Takanori unconvincing. The right expression is on his face but the emotion isn’t there in his guts.

With so much opportunity to overplay the melo, it is a credit to the director (Nishitani Hiroshi) that he underplays it in true Japanese fashion. As a result the pathos of the situation is enhanced. But it could have been more so if he had made more use of silence and pauses. Possibly the pressure of time disallowed this.

There’s some inexcusably bad editing, where the screen flashes black in the middle of a scene, possibly where ad breaks have been sloppily removed. And whoever edited the soundtrack should be demoted. Too often it was too loud, too obvious, too repetitive, too random and so noticeably truncated that it was like a shock to the system.

All the way through I was wavering between giving this 7.5 or 8, but in the end, even though the insightful content merited the 8, the execution disappointed.

What my rating means: 7+ A watchable drama, but nothing exceptional. Good enough to qualify for the race, but finished with the pack. The sort of thing that promises more than it delivers.

Read More

If you really want to watch this drama, watch until episode 10. SKIPPING episode 11 is a must.

This was one of those Jdramas that started pretty well. the story was detailed and on-point. However, the writers decided to make it different and it was good, until it wasn't.

Story:
Adultery, but in a really absurd way. We get to see two very nonfunctional couples who are struggling with their sexless lives. however, this is not the whole thing. The characters are so lost and don't even know what they are doing. The concept of talking and marriage counseling doesn't even exist( which is not understandable imo). So to find solace and peace, they cheat; one emotionally and the other physically. and cheating is somehow forgiven by both parties again without talking. the reason why I'm saying it should've ended on episode 10 is that the leads finally got out of their dungeons and decided to make things right. but right about to do so, episode 11 screws everything up :/

Acting and chemistry:
Honestly, the actors and actresses don't depict emotions much. it's nonexistent kinda. except for a short period that we see Michi and Makoto getting close and romantic( Makoto's feelings were sincere but Michi's??! she was drowned in her mind). and the worst acting award goes to the second lead ( Yo and Kaede). The childish and selfish behavior depicted was unbelievable( but that does exist in real world, so kudos to the writer)

OST:
unlike many Jdramas I watched, this drama had a few songs that were quite good.

one thing I like to mention is that by episode 10, the whole story was wrapped up. we could guess the future based on the things we saw and it was over, but suddenly episode 11 popped up and the leads were all good with their exes? what happened? just a few months passed and they suddenly realized they can go back to being Comrades?LOL
as much as I liked the first few episodes, the last episodes weren't OK.

Read More

All He Had To Say Was: "I Love You"

A very well-acted, well-written series with an ending that I didn’t like but I can justify it in my own mind.

This is the story of two couples who are mismatched for all practical purposes.

The first couple: Michi and Yoichi:
Michi is a sweet, over-apologizing, over-bowing married woman to Yoichi, an unloving, sloppy, mess of a man who won’t have sex with her or give her any attention. He works in a coffee shop in where he even had sex with a co-worker.

Michi always loved her husband. Her husband didn’t return the love she wanted so she found that love elsewhere.

Enter Makoto, her boss, – a sweet, loving handsome alternative that gave her the love and attention she desperately needed.

At first, she seemed like she was really interested in Makoto – Even getting a divorce. But as time went on, she enjoyed her independence, and her ambition to get a better job and as that happened, she turned away from Makoto, hurting him deeply.

I, like many other viewers, felt horribly disappointed.

However, putting my rational hat on and leaving my emotional hat aside, I finally understood why Michi made her final choice.
She always loved her husband. Makoto was just a loving substitute. And at the end, Yoichi finally told her he loved her, and they went on with an apparently improved relationship. She had a new job, and he was going to start his own coffee shop.

The Second couple: Makoto and Kaede

Another unhappy couple – Kaede is a workaholic to the destruction of her marriage and hurt her ever-loving husband. Then he meets Michi and falls deeply in love with her and Makoto and Kaede get a divorce too.

Makoto is a wonderful husband: he cooks and takes care of the house, but because she is always working, she is rarely home or just plain tired. They too had a sexless marriage. So, he found someone who works for him with the same problems, and they share their problems verbally and almost had an affair.

Most of us would want Michi and Makoto, now that they are divorced from their partners, to finally find happiness with each other.

However, the bottom line here is that Michi STILL loves her husband and returns to him in the end – leaving Makoto alone.

I want to mention the OST in this series – it is perfect for this series. Here is the link to one of the songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-oL-dl-vFs

Even If You Don’t Do It series was expertly well-acted, well-scripted, and well-directed. However, I didn’t like the ending, but I understand it and it makes sense to me because she loved the loser and that is what we must remember. All he had to say was, “I love you” and that is all she wanted.

Would I rewatch it? Absolutely not. However, I would listen to the OST repeatedly!

Read More

Don’t do it!

Do not watch this. This has to be one of the most saddest things that I have ever watched. I really thought that it was about a husband and wife that lost their spark, but it was so much more than that which makes it even sadder. This was more, about one person settling for someone they’re comfortable with while not truly having a real physical connection to them. The synopsis makes it seem like the spark left, but what we actually see is a lack of genuine interest in the person because the relationship was one of comfort or shall I say logic rather than real connection or desire.
I will admit one person has the feelings but the other one didn’t. As a woman and human, I feel disheartened and completely sad how they ended it.


Spoilers below



this woman was married to the man who had no actual desire, physically to be with her. He was with her because he was comfortable with her not because he was attracted to her. Although she was physically attracted to him. He actually cheats on her too 🙄. Throughout the series, we watch her grow closer to someone else who does really have an interest in her. She discovers that her husband does not like her in that way and finally decide to leave. She then proceeds to get a divorce, but decided not to develop the other relationship with a person that really had an interest in her. Later she instead goes back with her ex, who honestly wasn’t attracted to her. I’m assuming she went back out of comfort. Also, things like this may happen in real life. No one actually want to see anything like this actually happened. It’s just one of those things that is not really enjoyable to watch. It’s not like a break up or make up. This lady literally went back to a person who had no intimate feelings for her. She was physically and emotionally lonely for so long but because she loves him she goes back. Why? I have no idea, and I don’t care, and I regret watching it . That was so sad, so I absolutely can not recommend this to anybody. What was the point?

Read More

What's sex? Love is all you need

I had high hopes for this drama. Ok, it is a slow burn in the first half while all the characters are introduced, and we find out how their lives are intertwined. The main plot focused on two sexless marriages and the impact on the relationship of our 4 leads.

It is not unusual for a Japanese drama to take an awkward situation and drill down and come up with something uniquely insightful. This show has a hint of that while tackling the role of sex, intimacy, communication and trust in a committed relationship.

The show does pick up it's pace in the second half and it was reaching a crescendo towards the end when it seems to hit the brakes and the show feels oddly moribund.

Let us backtrack a bit. The show is largely about two marriages and they are both on the rocks because of, at first glance, the same problem. A lack of intimacy and poor communication that created an icy atmosphere and lots of stilted moments. This is not help by one dimensional characters. Their relationships spiral ever downward in a low grade poisonous and self destructive way. They seem to spend the bulk of the time apologising perfunctorily to each other. Timidity, sullenness, frustration and detachment are the four horsemen of this drama.

The show appears to be postulating two types of marriage breakdowns. Both pass through a awkward sexless phase. However, in one case, the love between them is stone dead while the other is a complex dance of false promises, poor communication and selfishness but the flame of love still flickers under the dung heap. There is a lot of penned up emotions and subsurface angst. They have an almost affair, actual infidelity but also attempts to patch things up but the dice is casted, and we are heading to a seemingly obvious conclusion.

It would be too much to ask for a HEA ending, but the last episode feels flat. After a year apart, the FL crumbles and mended her relationship with her ex-husband with little preamble. The second ML is forced to play the Noble Idiot card and walk away empty handed.

We are not told if she accepts the status quo as the new norm or all her grievances were addressed. It seems to come down to the old Love Conquers All trope.

The show put forward a number of questions but ends up walked away without answering them earnestly. We get hints that resolves have been weakened, expectations realigned. It feels like a bet each way. It is insipid and provides little service to its fans. Do we really need 11 episodes to tell this sorry tale?

In terms of acting, all the leads did fine. OST is nice. I could find no valid reason to rewatch this.

Read More

Wasting a drama done perfectly

There are two things about this. On one hand, you have the drama up until the ending. The first part is very good, I'd give it 10/10. But the ending seriously destroys it all. For that second part, I can only give 2/10. All in all it would come to a 6/10, but sadly, at least for myself, I have to give it a 5/10. Again not because it's bad, and I recommend all people to watch it because it's simply amazing, but to be honest, the ending is the worst possible outcome you could have chosen for such a topic and how it developed in the 10 EPs up until the finishing line in the 11 EP.

Going back to a destroyed marriage or at least living with them again, after going through so much emotional damage, I really can't understand this. You have two couples not loving each other anymore, even before the affairs begin from the 3 out of 4 (you could count the career as one too, so I could also be 4) the marriage of the two couples were already in shambles.

Then following up with all the abusive talking points to each other. Concluding the affairs, the talking points, the relationship even before the cheating, you have to say to yourself ok this is enough, and we end all things here. But no, the author of the drama says that's where we leave it and all is good. WTF. This doesn't make any sens at all.

The rating doesn't display the amazing playing skills of the actors, especially the FL is good at portraying the woman in this drama. You can always tell, if you're angry at someone in a drama it's either because they're portrayed good (so the actions of the person in the drama seem real), do something stupid or are played so bad, you're angry at you for watching it. It is definitely the case of very good acting skills mixed with a good story but shit ending. That would be my review of this drama.

Read More

Wait...What?!

What a ridiculous ending.
Long-term relationships don't work like this. Unless you are mental, I guess.
What was going on in the writer's brain, I wonder....
I hereby sincerely wish y'all to avoid this woman's fate\self-destructive decisions. Amen.
.....
Let me tell you something obvious (to anybody who's ever been in a long-term relationship):
relationships always change overtime. Love is not a hocus-pocus. It's a bunch of reactions happening in your body\brain as a result of your interactions with your loved one. When one's most basics needs are not met over a long period of time...surprise-surprise!...these reactions eventually decline.
Disturbingly, this thing that kept humanity from extinction for quite some time now is merely ignored here, and I don't understand why.

Read More

So angry with this drama.....

This is the first time I'm so angry after watching an Asian drama.
Firstly j-dramas have always been touch and go for me. Either they are brilliant or just too bizarre.
But this one is outrageous.

Wonder who created this idiotic FL script, who is senselessly meandering down a dissatisfied relationship, then finds her husband has an affair, divorces him and then goes back to a sex less marriage which was her first problem to begin with.

Get a life, lady,
You are not the epitome of anything and the spineless behavior which concludes to love in the final episode just feels like some man with a wet dream has concocted this ridiculous, depressing story line.

Read More

A Very realistic representation of daily struggles of people in relationships, not only amongst married couples though! I personally believe a couple of years of struggles are enough to prove if a relationship can continue or not as everyone has the right to love and to be loved the way we want and, if the partner we are with doesnt want to compromise, it might not be the right partner for us in that moment. Long term relationships require both sides to compromise and make efforts, if one of the 2 doesnt want to or feel the compromise is too much, sorry but it only means the couple needs to split for the psychological and physical wellbeing of both. I am curious to see how the production will make this series end, if following the usual old sense of morality perhaps accepted by the majority, with following sense of guiltyness and self pity. Or if they are open to a more overjudged possibility.. i opt for the latter... AFTER VIEWING LAST EPISODE, an unexpected ending, didn't make any sense from my prospective .. a very morally correct choice... but for the sake of entertainment i would have prefer the 2 divorcees to end up together...i have taken a star off because the ending as personally not satisfying

Read More