The Boyfriend (2024)

an excellent series (m/m reality dating show)

Overall: this is my favorite reality dating series ever. It had a very earnest feel while being entertaining. 10 episodes 45 minutes each. Aired on Netflix https://www.netflix.com/title/81685212

Reality Dating Series Note: When watching "reality" series, I always keep in mind that producers might tell the guys what to do/say and that editing can be extremely misleading (not showing things, change the order, etc). My goals are that the guys have some fun (maybe make a friend) and being on the show helps (or at least doesn't hurt them) in their personal and professional lives.

Content Warnings: trauma, past death, grief

What I Liked
- everyone was respectful of everyone else
- the coffee truck was a neat idea to have something else to focus on, the budget encouraged them to work/collaborate
- the first anonymous letter and then writing who they'd like to have a date with and sending matching pairs on a date
- it's good that people were able to leave the house as a month was quite a long time
- production value such as nice music, set design, editing, etc
- (neutral) it took some getting used to with the hosts, I generally don't like real people commenting on the relationships of other real people, however the hosts were pretty respectful and pointed out things that I was also thinking

Room For Improvement
- sometimes the editing was super choppy/jarring
- wish they had some formal group question prompts, or organized group games (it did look like the guys played their own board/card games)
- sad that they only gave viewers 10 episodes 45 minutes long with them living together for a month, seems this could have been much longer, perhaps they'll have a season 2 with a longer runtime when this is (hopefully) a huge hit

Comparison to other m/m dating shows
1. His Man (South Korea) on GagaOOLala/iQIYI, currently on season 3. Excellent visuals/production value.
2. Sparks Camp (Philippines) on YouTube, currently on season 2. Great diversity with the guys.
3. Boys Like Boys (Taiwan) on GagaOOLala, had a very similar aesthetic/vibe to His Man
4. Love House seasons 1 & 2 (Vietnam) on YouTube (most have English subs, this is ep 1 of season 2 no subs though https://youtu.be/TKzT_nHfVTA ). I liked this set up more than Bromance because the guys could all pursue one another. I didn't like the "secret couple" aspect and dividing them up based on sexual position seemed odd (can't they discuss that in private???) Season 1 was also the most brutal "rose ceremony" I've ever seen in any dating reality show. Season 2 was better.
5. Bromance (Thailand) is also on Gagaoolala. This is the typical Bachelor/Bachelorette set up with a bunch of people competing against one another to be with the 1 bachelor. I didn't like this because they could have all been hitting on each other and we have multiple couples! I got kind of bored and skipped a bunch.

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This Show is as Real as my Aunt’s Church Wig

Yes, yes, we all wanted to throw rocks at Shun and slap him with a rubber chicken, but, what in the love potion did Kazuto put in those meals? Cuz my man was out there collecting boys like Pokémons.

Let’s be honest. This ‘reality’ show is as real as my uncle Bob’s Christmas toupée, but I still enjoyed it, cuz I love me some drama!! And frankly, I’m nosy. I heard someone say Shun’s a RED FLAG, and went ‘Ming’s got an IRL brother? Where?’ Then my nosy arse immediately took a seat.

And I remained seated, cuz watching Ryota strike-out over and over again (knowing his parents might be watching, yikes, I’d have moved to the sun) made me grab some popcorn and wine. Ryota’s pain, Shun’s annoying arse, Dai’s frustrations and Kazuto being belle of the ball made for such great entertainment. Oh and that chicken and that one go-go guy.

But let’s forget about that guy and his chicken for a second. Cuz— How about that first KISS between Dai and Shun?? Oh boy, that was, yeah. Stuff. Oof. *stupid in love noises* so powerful it had an afterglow??

And that last ‘DAI, I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU’ Aaaaahhhhh, I screamed, clapped and cried. And when Dai said it back??? Good stuff :(((. In love people are sooo annoying *cries in jealous* Nah, those two, I swear to Gawd!!

And back to that kiss. It put most bl kisses to shame. Because some bl characters kisses like they are afraid of lips. Like that ‘We Are’ PhumPeem kiss when they were sitting on that canoe/boat. Peem looked like he was in pain and his teeth were about to catch fire. Honestly, Phum would have had a better time making out with that canoe. And don’t even get me started on Q and Toey’s kisses. They were so awkward and stiff, I wanted to throw stale bread at their heads.

Anyway, that kiss was hot, but then again it couldn’t have been anything else, cuz the build up was heart pounding. The moment Shun awkwardly jumped into Dai’s bed, I knew, he knew what he was doing. Like come on bro, game recognises game, I know yous wanna chop. hihi.

Of course a day after the kiss, Shun out there again being a broken record talking about ‘I can’t enjoy myself when we are together, I need space.’ Then move to the sun! And to think he did that because Dai won’t wear his t-shirt. OMG HE IS EXHAUSTING!! This drama queen!

DAI & SHUN
Yes, the only reason I watched this show is because I heard people saying Shun is a red flag. And I will agree to disagree, because the first time Shun introduced himself, I was like: ‘aww he wants to find love and start a family’ but then the look on his face and the way he was speaking had me going ‘LMAO why you talking about love sounding like you’re making a grocery list?’ Homeboy was like:

1. (1)boyfriend/future husband. (Preferable one allergic to happiness. Should not get excited about aquariums)
2. Three kids? (I want a big family so we can celebrate the holidays)
3. Two cups of ways to drive whoever I end up with insane with my indecisiveness and moods
4. 3? 2 bottles of mood swings (top shelve products only)
5. Sugar?

No really, tell me why Shun comes off as that one kid who goes outside for the first time in days and comes back home like: ‘Dear Dairy, I want outside again today. The humans are still there. I did not like it.’

But then, but then, he gets happy and he’s all bright smiles, and shy energy, making your heart melt, and you wanna gently roll him up in a blanket sandwich and gives him cheek kisses, then shove him off a cliff—cuz the next scene he’s back to being cranky and annoying.

Let’s be honest, Shun is an attention seeker who has the personality of a god-darn flip flop, and he soaks up negative energy around him like spongebob, but… I vibe with that air breather and would happily make excuses for him, because I get it, people are exhausting. And with his family and love life background, I understand why he was playing ping-pong with Dai’s feeling.

Shun at 23 has gone through more than most of us, so he’s allowed to protect his heart. Some traumas makes villains of us, but just because we put ourselves first, doesn’t make us bad people. So yes, I’d be the first in line to shove Shun off a small cliff cuz his annoying arse got to me, but I’ll gladly use the second person in line’s body to break his fall.

Also, why was everyone saying Shun is a red flag? Peoples, did you notice the rollercoaster Kazuto put Alan through??? No really, he kept confusing the poor boy until literally the last episode. If I was Alan, i’d have make like that one chicken guy and send myself packing.

That being said. Shun is a Drama Queen. Boy showed up for a dating show and after meeting the contestant went ‘yeah, cancel the whole thing, I don’t like any of these people, send them back.’ LOL, I was surprised he stayed.

I threw popcorn at my screen and booed whenever he said ‘I’m not sure’ about his feelings for Dai. ‘Child!! Will you keep quiet??’ Shun got into my core. Dafug you mean you have no wish after winning? Why are you still in this show?? Boy if you don’t make like that one chicken guy and go study abroad!!

All the pain Shun suffered in this show was cost by himself, and for that, I still lowkey want to shake him for being so indecisive. Cuz, out of nowhere he decided he and Dai should remain friends after their first date because, *Check outs*

1. Dai’s too happy and it exhausted him. Child!?! No, really, he was like: ‘that’s enough happiness for this month, don’t stand too close me.’ What?!? now how you gon’ be a hater of fun in this economy?? But, Shun, honey, if you hate fun how you gon’ entertain your children?? Cuz right now, i’m just imagining him giving his kids time-out because they sang ‘itsy bisty spider’ with too much enthusiasm.

2. Setting himself up for jealousy. After he turn their will-they-wont-they situationship into an awkward Im-staring-at-you-from-a-distance situation, he had the audacity to get jealous. I’m all for pinning, and I was cheering on Shun, but I was clapping and going ‘yes, ignore his sorry arse’ when Dai and Ikuo were doing a romantic disney montage by the sea. You know, right in front of his salad.

3. Breaking his own heart by not lifting his hands. Then of course, he immediately regretted it and he had the audacity to look like a kicked puppy, making me all soft and lowkey hating on Dai for making him sad.

I’m glad he got his shit together cuz I had, had it up to here with him and was ready to throw a chair.

It’s not a secret, we were all watching this show for these two. But damn, Shun made it so hard for me to ship them. At some point, I wanted Dai to say eff you and become one of Kazuto’s boys. But in the finale, when he finally made up his mind and confessed first, I was like: ‘that's my boy. Boo in-love people are annoying *happy tears*

Dai is a sweetheart. I like how he knows what he wants and goes for it. Those episodes when he purposely made Shun jealous with Ikuo was chef-kiss. He has the patient of a saint, cuz if Shun was frustrating me like that, my dramatic arse would have been like: ‘You ain’t the only air breather here. Pfft. Bye Felicia.’

But he held on, and it paid off, because they ended up together. Yes, Shun and Dai found a middle to be together, but at what cost? I feel like they both compromised parts of them that’s going to be hard for them to let go of. Would they survive in the end? Who knows, but I wish them all the luck, and lots of kisses.

RYOTA RYOTA RYOTA
hahahahah HAHHAHA. Im sorry, I know he must be heart broken wherever his single arse is, but damn! Homeboy was so sad to look at. He got rejected and kept going. Child, do you have a humiliation kink??

If he was a character on Ao3 his tags would be like #unrequitedlove #nevergiveup #sandwiches #tears

Listen, I don’t enjoy peoples sadness or anything, but like, if I was Ryota, I’d have left the second Kazuto rejected me. Homeboy was two-for-two then went back and got rejected again in the last episode. Ryota just couldn’t catch a break. Shun didn’t even consider his feelings and immediately friend-zone him, then proceeded to dump his relationship problem on him for advice. OUCH.

And Kazuto looked like he wished, he hadn’t confessed to him. Cuz we all know all that polite smiling meant: ‘haha, thank you for liking me, but no. Bro.’

Also, that sandwich in the finale made me shake my head. WHY Ryota, just why?? Kazuto keeps choosing Alan, and your solution is to make him lunch?? Come on son, have some shame and some self-respect? And to make it worse, Kazuto just enjoyed it with Alan. Naahhh that’s a foul!!!

Ryota chased after two people who did not want him, and drove the one who wanted him out of the Green Room. Really, I laughed at him yes, but I felt bad for him in the end, cuz that last attempt at Kazuto, though brave, was just sad. I hope in the future he learns to notice the people who wants him, instead of going after those who don’t and getting his heart broken repeatedly.

KAZUTO KAZUTO KAZUTO & ALAN
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but this was just ridiculous. Everyone wanted Kazuto, so much so that someone even left to go work aboard when they couldn’t have him. PAUSE. What in a kdrama moment was that? I know it was emotional and was supposed to be sad, but not gonna lie, I laughed so hard.

Kazuto was confused most of the show, then knowing his feelings. He kept changing his mind. Shun must have borrowed him those flip-flops cuz boy put Alan through the ringer. One moment he wanted to be friends, then he’s not sure about his feelings, then he wants to hold hands. CHILD!!!

And Alan. Gawddd if I had to hear Alan remind us again he’s Brazilian, I’d riot. We get it, your grandparents were adventurous, enough! It was like 51% of his personality, and thank god he brought something else to the table, cuz… Even his title was like ‘Brazilian it worker’ okay?

And yes, I liked him and Kazuto. I felt like he came on a bit too strong, but he did eventually learned to slow to his pace, so that worked out. And I hope after spending more time together Kazuto gets his sh!t together and make them official.

EVERYONE ELSE:

Did everyone else forget that one contestant that gave shun advice while drinking wine, Taeyon?. Was he a filler contestant, cuz i forgot he was even in the show before that scene. Good luck to him I guess.

Gensei being delulu thinking Ryota wanted him was so funny. At first he was like, nah, then when he realised he didn’t want him, he was interested. And what was his deal always wanting to put make-up on Ryota? I felt sorry for him, cuz he could see that he was just a replacement, so I’m glad he left.

Ikuo. Poor dude, he showed up all happy and left with his spirit crushed. And Dai did him so dirty cuz they were like:
- IKUO: Dai, I know I used to like Kazuto, but that’s over, and I want to confess my feelings to you. I like you.
- DIA: Whomst? me? No. Shun Shun Shun. But, I almost had a crush on you, because you’re good at house chores.

LMAO, what a way to reject someone. That was nasty.

Also, damn, why were they always like ’Thank you’ every time they rejected someone? The politeness made it even worse. Poor Ryota though, boy got a ‘thank you’ and as if that’s not enough, a handshake. That was somehow extra worse.

Anyway, I don’t like reality shows. I’d watch only one in my life, and it was about cake being real or fake. So, I didn’t want to watch this, but am glad I did, cuz it was entertaining. I wish all these people luck finding love. And to Dai, dude, good luck with Shun’s dramatic arse, you gonna need it!

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Butterflies more and more butterflies

This show will leave kicking the air ...pple surrounding you will think you have gone crazy ...cuz u just look at the screen n have this huge smile ....it's so raw .....i mean it describes in general how in life we presume
This show taught me that visions are so deceptive the person u may like thinking ohhh he looked at me !!!! May not be looking at the same way which u are imaging
U need to be persistent
I really loved dais personality so much ...he is player yes he is ...but he is totally the best player???? ......I mean who would not fall for him
Shun is kind of a red flag not in a bad way but kinda toxic cuz he wants to put himself first no matter where he is whether there are pple around or not .....he is in his own world which is fine cuz he and dai both are very young buds they need time n they both will adapt cuz it's life
Shun has trust issues for sure that will be a problem in future but the way dai understands him rather makes him understand is phenomenal they are a perfect Balance cuz shun is bit loner n dai is one man army .....i hope they get ample of time to understand each other n hope their relationship blooms . When one person is giving up u need something to cheer u up n i believe dai is already doing it rather he is already fallen .shun is not a bad guy just a bit broken by past trauma
I hope they heal each other
Cuz opposite attracts
This is the best chemistry I have never seen in any drama such build up
Gum bari masss

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Good BL Dating show?

I saw this on Netflix and decided to give it a chance. I didn’t expect it to be this good. First of all, I liked the concept of them staying for a month cause it allowed them to bond and is more realistic than shows where they spend 4 nights and 5 days and expect them to fall in love. Also, the idea of the truck and sales was interesting and nice to watch because they built connections while also earning for themselves. I like the fact that they planned the budget together to meet everyone’s needs. I think out of all the dating shows I’ve watched, the cast here had the best connections. Everyone was very supportive of each other and they got along so well. I also like how they all gave each other advice even though they might be love rivals.

For the contestants:
My favourite was Dai, he was very clear about what he wanted and he went for it. I also liked how he maintained a friendly relationship with everyone regardless of who he liked.

I also liked the fact that they talked about coming out and their own experiences. I’m happy Taeheon found himself and hopefully he has courage to tell those around him and they support him. In all, definitely give this a try cause the emotions were really genuine. I think the main I didn’t like is we had few episodes compared to how long they stayed together so sometimes sth would happen and they just move on to 4 days later so we didn’t get to see some development. Hopefully next time we get longer episodes.

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A tale of youth, friendship.. and love

This show had me in my feels, I'm not going to lie.

Above it all, this is about real people and real feelings, and I appreciated just how well that came through. As the hosts put it, “people tend to be drawn to the dramatic side of reality, but their stories were beautiful.”

Each of the participants were endearing in their own ways, a mix of different personalities, with different life experiences, thoughts and views. Living together, working together, sharing responsibilities, discussing finances, it tends to bring out all different sides of people, and despite being a dating reality show, they depicted all of this in good detail.

The romance didn't take a backseat to this though, it was up and down, and toyed around with the minds of everyone involved and the viewers but don't believe me if I say I didn't find it adorable. It was adorable. Whether I was frustrated, or confused, or ecstatic, these were relationships worth watching, seeing them grow into themselves and grow their romance.

My favourite part though will always be the friendship. The kind of bond you develop living in such close quarters and dealing with such big emotions can't quite be described coherently, or at least I can't, but I will consider that this may be one of the biggest and best things they'll all take away from the experience. The way they could all talk to each other openly, give advice respectfully, take another person's feelings into consideration.. there are so many moments I can point out where the kind of friendship they developed simply warmed my heart. Through all the confusion and the heartbreak, the bond never wavered and I loved it.

I must also mention the hosts, who were wonderful. They were watching it as we were, and their reactions were so similar to the way anyone watching would react. It was also very interesting to see their perspectives and thoughts, to see them discuss everything with thoughtfulness and sensitivity.

It's strange how a reality show can leave you wanting more, but between the lack of the dramatic drama and the general wholesome vibes of the cast, it's understandable why this feels as genuine as it did. And I appreciated it all.

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Go Japan!

Note: I'm throwing in an extra point for the genuineness of the participants themselves. Because these men opened up and were vulnerable in ways I found truly beautiful.

The Boyfriend was an emotional journey that was not just focused on finding love but on friendship and personal growth. I felt honored and overjoyed to see each man find new courage, realization, motivation, and/or peace in their life.

This Queer reality dating show marks a monumental step forward for Japan, finally following in Korea's footsteps with their successful "His Man."

The Boyfriend being so similar to His Man, I would find it hard to review it properly without talking about the differences between them.

#1) Time. The Boyfriend allows a month for everyone to get to know each other, compared to His Man's seven days. While I did find it valuable for the men to spend more time together, as a viewer, I got frustrated with rarely having a concrete timeline. Between arguments, dates, and events, hours, days, or even a week could have passed. This made me question whether moments/exchanges were purposely framed to get a certain reaction from me and even the authenticity of The Boyfriend at times. I understand that having a month of footage to edit poses a challenge, but a small counter telling the date and time in the corner could have resolved this easily. His Man showed things more linearly and clearly, in my opinion.

#2) Fluidity. The participants seemed to feel more open to expressing their personal opinions about the world and their community. There were regular conversations shown regarding coming out, pronouns, labeling their sexuality/gender, fighting for rights, family expectations/starting a family, etc. His Man typically just has one dedicated episode/event where everyone gets the chance to discuss their experiences being Queer as well as coming out, with the participants having a few conversations about it but not nearly as many as The Boyfriend.

#3) Physical Touch. The participants here seemed far more willing to show/comfortable with showing affection/interest through physical touch. Close proximity, hugs, massages, backrubs, and kisses were all present. Sure, there are "moves" made on His Man, but nothing compared to The Boyfriend. Here, I felt it was not only more readily accepted but encouraged. Perhaps this is due to cultural differences. Of course, it could also be that these men, in particular, were simply comfortable with it. It's not a criticism of His Man, just something I noticed.

#4) The Coffee Truck. The premise of having everyone take turns working in pairs at a coffee truck was an excellent choice, in my opinion. It not only allowed for some guaranteed personal time each time it was open for the day but also gave each man more insight into how the other would act under pressure rather than having to just rely on how they choose to present themself in a controlled setting.

#5) Goodbyes. Men could leave the "Green Room" seemingly at any time they wanted—not just as a final farewell, but when they had personal or work plans, they could be gone for several days. I thought this was a thoughtful choice, as participants had the freedom to decide when their time had ended/they had gotten what they wanted from the Green Room, as well as make carving out 30 whole days to be on a reality show much more feasible.

#6) Control/Communication. Other than the coffee truck being used as a vehicle—get it? Vehicle—to allow participants to pair up, there were some days when it was closed to allow the option for dates; however, the feelings of each man had to align to go on the date. There were also letters used in the beginning to communicate the men's thoughts. In His Man, there are phone calls, chat messages, letters, and cards that rely on chance/desire to obtain them with prompts/events that can force/allow the opportunity for new people to be paired up to go on a date that hasn't before as well as shake things up a bit in the house.

I see advantages as well as disadvantages to both approaches. His Man's setup allows secrecy at points as well as promotes participants to take an active role in fighting for their date while also (depending on fate) forcing them to explore other options. The Boyfriend has a loose setup that relies on intentional pursuit as well as increased time available for the participants to get to know each other during their free time before (hopefully) confirming their mutual interest.

I do feel His Man made the men step out of their comfort zones and express thoughts in confidence that they wouldn't feel brave enough to otherwise. But I also see and appreciate how The Boyfriend allows the men more freedom to choose their partner.

#7) Hosts. Hosts have never been a part of His Man but found their way here. I did have my concerns in the beginning that they were going to interrupt too much or, perhaps, say something out of pocket. But I was relieved to find that they were a quiet presence and only chimed in on occasion. They acted more like a 3rd party cheerleader to watch with you than anything.

All in all, I was quite delighted with The Boyfriend, regardless of production choices. I sincerely hope there is a second season.

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Worth every second.

Honestly, I loved the show. It was one of the best shows to showcase love, friendship, and the difficulties gay/bi people go through. I wish the episodes were longer as we missed a lot of content so sometimes it felt off.

SPOILER!!!!

My favorite couple was ShunDai and their journey was beautiful to see. They went through hardships but they managed to go through it.

Also, I have seen so many people throw words like toxic, red flag, and more but guys remember they are real people with real feelings. They are not in a kdrama and are following a script. It is as if 10 episodes would show you who they are as a person. Your environment, friends, family, etc. affects how you are. You might not like it but this is life. Shun had many hardships that we will never know about and you might hate how he behaved but he is real. He did what he felt was right. And if Dai didn't like it, he would have left. This is their story and they decide how they want it to end but you shouldn't go and throw these words everywhere just because you think you have an idea of how their relationship should be. Every couple is different. I hope they all find happiness because they all deserve it.

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Great Series...!!!

I just got finished watching ep10 and i must say i am in tears. Yes a 50yr old man in tears. I've been out for nearly 35yrs now. And most of what these boys went through in terms of their feelings for each other and other emotions i could totally relate to. Let's face it Shun's been hurt and has trust issues i know his pain i've gone through it myself over the years. From being nearly raped when i first came out and the first sexual experience i had. To getting over that through therapy and then having two lovers cheat on me VERY badly. It left me VERY bitter in terms of finding that someone special much less a friend i could truly trust. And honestly i still haven't found that special someone nor do i have any "TRUE" friends. So when Dai showed Shun how much he loved him no matter what. That really impressed me that their were men still like him out there. Of course i have yet to find my prince charming. But i do believe their is someone for everyone out there and that message was nicely conveyed with this show. It was also a very well done show nothing catty or superficial about it. I felt really bad for Ryota at the end he was probably one of the most genuine guys besides Alan out of all of them. I guess nice guys do finish last. I hope he truly finds love for himself because he so deserves it. What this show managed to do was bring gay men together despite their differences in sexual attraction etc...They formed a bond and that's something that is missing from the LGBTQ+ society today. We prejudge and cast assumptions of others before giving someone a fair chance. We write off someone completely out of our lives if they aren't attracted to us. But don't realize they could turn out to be the best friend we've ever had. Let's face it nobody can have enough friends folks. I don't care if you have 15 friends that one person you wrote off might be the only one who will TRULY be there when you need them. Judging from all the positive reviews this series got i hope they keep it going with more seasons. Our community needs shows like this it's important. It teaches us a lot about ourselves and how to treat others. So please give us more seasons. Bravo to a series well done.

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Not your average dating show

After Single's inferno and Love signal, I was very hesitant to start a new dating show... but it was surprisingly good !

At first I was scared the members of the cast were too different but it provided great chemistry and contributed to make the show even better. They're the more honest I've ever seen in a dating show and it was just so refreshing. The cast are all heartwarming and the watcher can truly feel how close they've become at the end of the month. It's truly a show about friendship.

The simplicity of the coffee truck was unexpected but just perfect, proving you don't need five stars hotels to fall in love.


I'll be waiting for season 2.

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